One More Try: Pt II
by McDimplesBaby
Summary: Everything has changed for Arizona Robbins. Can she ever get back to that good place after the hurt she has faced in her past? Will it become too much? **Rated M for future chapters** THIS FIC IS AN CONTINUATION OF 'One More Try'. You can find it in my profile. ***COMPLETE***
1. Chapter 1

**Guys, this is a kind of epligoue-ish short fic. I didn't feel like I was done with One More Try, so I decided to not be done *shrugs*. It won't go on for tons of chapters, but here it is, anyway…**

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One More Try: Chapter One

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ARIZONA'S POV

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 _Two years later…_

This day is really kicking my ass. Sure, it's the start of a new year…but I thought it would be easier than this. I thought it would be like it usually is. Nothing is how it usually is anymore, though. Nothing is how it should have been since two years ago when my life totally changed. I've managed, and I'm kind of coping, but I still hope. I still pray that I will wake one day and it will all have been a dream. I still pray that somewhere, somehow…she remembers me and she comes back to me. She comes back to me and the past two years didn't happen. I know that isn't ever going to be how my life turns out, but it's the only thing that helps me to get out of bed each day. It's the only thing that convinces me to pull on my clothes and come to work. Honestly, it's the only thing keeping me alive.

Yeah, she left me. Eliza. That woman I planned on spending my life with? She left me and she never looked back. Two years ago August just gone…she left me a note, and I never saw her again. I know she was having a bad time, and I know she was hurting, but she still left me. I was supposed to be the one who put her back together. I was supposed to be the one who helped her through all of her hurt. Just like she had helped me after the explosion. I was supposed to be the woman that she loved, but I was wrong. So very very wrong. I should have known that I couldn't be the one for her. I know she talked the talk, and for the most part…she walked the walk, but I was just the one she wanted to pass some time with. I was just the one she wanted to play with until her time at the university came to an end. Maybe the reasons for her leaving helped her to get out of our relationship in the end, but I deserved better. I deserved more than a note with an I'm sorry attached to it. I deserved reasons. Explanations. A chance. All I wanted was a chance, and she just couldn't give that to me. That tells me that she was waiting for the opportunity to leave. That tells me that everything she ever said to me was a lie.

She lost her mom. Three weeks after graduation, actually. We had just returned from a week away in Italy together when she got the call. She was devastated. Absolutely crushed. I understood that, though. I just put my all into being whatever she needed. If she needed me to hold her, I did that. If she needed someone to be angry at, I did that too. Even when she needed a little sex to help her forget, I dropped everything and gave it to her. I gave her everything I had…then she disappeared. Literally. You know, I've spent two years thinking about her every single minute of the day, and I still don't know where I went wrong. I don't know where my life went wrong. Maybe it all went wrong the day I met her. The day I gave into my heart. Maybe it went wrong when I allowed myself to become attracted to a phenomenally beautiful woman who would never want me around forever. I don't know. I just know that the more I think about her and what we were, the more I wish I'd never met her.

I promised myself last night that I was starting again. I promised myself that the first day of the new year at the university would bring changes for me. I'm trying, but she's still in my headspace. _She always will be._ She's like a bad dream that just won't go away. She is like a drug I'm struggling to rid from my system. _She's a bitch._ I called her. I text. I emailed. Hell, I even called the hospitals in the area to check if she had been admitted to any of them. Nothing. Nothing whatsoever. That was, until six months later when I received a handwritten letter from her in the mail. I can remember her words like I'm reading it for the first time, but I want to forget everything she said to me. If I'm ever going to move forward with my life, I have to try.

I mean, it's been two years. It's been two years since her mom took her own life…and Eliza took mine. Because she did. She may never see the hurt she has caused me, but I still feel it to this day. I still wake in the night and reach out with the hope that she will be beside me. She never is, though, and she never will be again. I'm beginning to come to terms with that. I'm beginning to come to terms with the fact that no matter what she went through…she ruined my life. She ruined it and she crushed my heart. She took it from my chest and she squeezed it so hard that my body will never feel the same again. Nothing will ever feel the same again. Its the story of my life, though. I mean, I haven't even kissed another woman since she left. I haven't dated. I haven't slept around. I have worked and I have gone home each night to complete loneliness and emptiness. I don't even see Alex as much as I used to.

He calls now and then but he knows when I need space. That's the reason we've barely spent any time together…I've needed a hell of a lot of space. More than I ever thought I'd need. Realising that I'm supposed to be getting on with my life, I grab my cell from the table I've been sitting at for the past forty minutes and pull up my best friends contact details.

 ** _Are you working tonight?_**

 ** _Hey, stranger. I am. Why? Alex_**

 ** _I was thinking of coming by to see you. If that would be okay? A x_**

 ** _I'd love you to come by and see me. I'm at the bar from 3. Alex_**

 ** _Awesome. I'll head over sometime this evening. A x_**

Setting my cell down on the table in front of me, I sit back in my seat and push my salad around my plate. I never eat in the cafeteria but I'm still very wary about going out to lunch since the explosion. I know it's not ever going to happen again, but I've closed myself off from everyone I know so even if I wanted to…I wouldn't have anyone to enjoy lunch with. Sighing, I drop my fork down on my plate and push my seat back. I have two more classes today and then I'm out of here. Out of here and enjoying a drink with my best friend. The best friend I've neglected more than I care to admit right now.

Heading for the trash, I discard my food and set my plate down in its usual spot. It's a routine of mine now, but that's just one of the things that have changed in my life. Heading out of the cafeteria, I take a left and make my way towards my office. That's one thing that hasn't changed over the years. "Arizona!" A voice startling me, I turn and focus my eyes on the mass of students milling about. "Hey!"

"Hi, Rachel." One of the new processors approaches me and motions for me to keep walking. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, just a few of us are heading to the bar tonight. Did you want to join us, or?"

"Alex's bar?" I ask. "Down on Edmund?"

"That's the one." She agrees.

"I'm actually already headed there tonight but sure…it would be good to hang out with you guys." Stopping, I furrow my brow. "Wait, is Professor Janson going?"

"Jane? No." She shakes her head. "She's out on a date or something."

"Then count me in." I smile.

"Something happened with you guys?" She tries her luck.

"Nothing worth gossiping about." I shrug. "I'll see you tonight, okay?"

"Sure will." She stops as I reach the corridor that will lead me to my office. "Seven okay with you?"

"Seven sounds perfect." Throwing her a wave, I weave through the students who are heading to their next class of the day and breathe a sigh of relief when I'm out of the crowd. Something about crowds still freaks me out but I have a job to do and a home to run. I can't think about it anymore. Taking my cell from my purse, I glance down at it and find a new message from Alex.

 ** _So glad you are coming by tonight. I've missed you! Xx_**

Smiling as I lock my cell and shove it back in my purse, I glance up and walk straight into the body in front of me. "I'm so sorry." I hold up my hands. "I should have been more aware of my surroundings." Brushing my hair from my face my eyes widen.

"Professor Robbins." That voice. How she says that. It sends shivers down my spine. I could never forget that voice.

"Excuse me, I have somewhere to be." Pushing past my ex-girlfriend, I close my eyes momentarily and try to stop the tears I know are about to fall.

"Arizona, wait!" I can hear heels clicking behind me but I can't do this. I've wanted her to come back for so long but now that she is in front of me, I can't even bring myself to look at her. "Arizona!" She grips my wrist and turns me around.

"I don't want to see you." My words barely above a whisper, I feel like I'm not in my own body. "Don't touch me." Backing away, she releases me from her grip and drops her hand. "I don't _ever_ want to see you again." My head spinning, I turn on my heel and disappear down the corridor. I feel like I can't breathe, and right now…I need my office. I need to lock myself away and compose myself before I have to face my students. This isn't happening.

 _It can't be happening…_

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I wasn't planning to come to Alex's bar after my run in with Eliza this afternoon, but I need this. I need my friend. He's the only one who has ever been there for me and stayed, so yeah…he doesn't deserve to be let down by me again. I know he has a strong hatred for my ex-girlfriend but he also knows when it is and isn't appropriate to bring her up during our conversations. He tends to wait until I make her the topic of conversation nowadays. I can't blame him, though. I turn into a right bitch when I discuss her with alcohol in my body. _Sometimes I wonder why he stands by me._ Pushing the heavy glass door open, I catch sight of him and he waves me over. It's not quite seven yet, but I wanted to talk about my encounter with him and get a feel for his opinion. Sure, I know he is going to freak, but I'd still like to talk to him about it.

"So fucking good to see you." He pulls me into a hug. "And you're looking hot tonight." He pulls back and throws me a wink.

"Thanks." I set my purse down on the bar. "Meeting some of the guys from work and there are one or two new ones."

"Ah…" He smirks. "Finally getting yourself back out there?"

"Maybe." I shrug. "Depends what's on offer."

"Now that's the Arizona I know and love." He laughs as he sets down two shot glasses in front of me and fills them up. "You know, it's been really shitty without you here."

"I'm sorry." Placing my hand over his own, I give it a firm squeeze and a sad smile. "I'm trying to get back to myself, though, okay?"

"You know I'm with you every step of the way." He nods. "So, how're things?"

"Same old." I sigh. "Like, I was looking forward to coming here tonight…since I was actually invited by one of the professors, and then she happened."

"You have to let her go." He gives me a knowing look. "It's been two years. She ain't coming back and you don't need her in your life."

"Except she is back." I clear my throat.

"I mean, what she did to you? I know she liked to run, but to disappear like that and never contact you? No. Just no, Arizona."

"I said…she _is_ back, Alex." His eyes widening, he studies my face but he knows I'm telling the truth. He knows I wouldn't lie about something like this. "Say something…"

"Like what?" He furrows his brow.

"I don't know. Like, that it's all going to be okay."

"I can't say that." He drops his gaze. "I don't know what her game is, so no…I can't reassure you or tell you what to do right now."

"Alex, what am I supposed to do?" My voice breaks. "It's been two years since I last saw her."

"I know." He grits his teeth. "But fuck, she has some nerve showing up in Seattle."

"She is free to go where she pleases, Alex. You have to remember that."

"You think she's back for you?"

"No." I shake my head. _God, I hope she is._ I know I shouldn't be thinking like that, but I can't help it. There is a reason I've remained celibate since she left. There is a reason I've thought about her every minute of my life. I still love her. I'll _always_ love her. "I'm sure she has an entirely new life. I just hope she is doing good and can leave me alone to get on with my own."

"I know you hate discussing her with me, but you know whatever you decide...I'll still love you. I'll probably always hate her, but if you want her back…if she wants you back, I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that."

"She doesn't want me back, Alex." I give him a sad smile. "If she wanted me back, she wouldn't have waited two years to get me back. She wouldn't have ever left if she wanted me in her life."

"I guess you're right." He sighs as he throws a towel over his shoulder. "Just…be careful, okay? I can't see you hurt again, Arizona. It's too fucking much for me."

"I don't need to be careful." I knock back my shot. "I'm not the one for her." The bell ringing above the door, I glance back and find some of my colleagues making their way inside. "Hey." Rachel approaches me and Alex raises his eyebrow. "Behave, Karev."

"I'm just saying…"

"No!" I hold up my hand. "Don't just say anything."

"Fine. You can read my mind anyway, so?"

"Mm, I can." I slip off my stool. "And right now, my own is telling me to tell _you_ to take yours out of the gutter."

"Just…enjoy your evening. You know where I am if you need me." He smiles. "Go and be you, Zo. You need this."

Smiling as I join the group of colleagues who are deciding on their drinks order, I grip the bottle of white Alex has just placed down in front of me and find a seat of my own. Rachel seems nice enough, so I think I'll head in her direction. Dropping down into the booth next to her, she gives me a smile and I pour myself a glass of wine. "Glad you could make it, Arizona."

"Yeah, me too." I smile. "Since it almost wasn't happening."

"Oh?" She raises her eyebrow.

"Just…exes, you know?" Waving off her questioning, she gives me a nod.

"You know how to fix that problem?"

"Nope…but I'm sure you're about to tell me." I laugh before taking my glass between my teeth.

"Get under someone else." _Okay, is she flirting with me?_ "Nothing wrong with a little fun."

"Sure…but doesn't it always end in tears?" I turn in my seat a little to face Rachel better.

"Depends." She shrugs. "What are you looking for?"

"Honestly? Nothing." Pathetic, I know...but I cannot go through all of this again. I cannot continue to get hurt over and over. I deserve better.

"Then a little fun could be just the right thing for you." She throws me a wink and now I know she is definitely flirting with me. "I know all about her, you know…"

"Oh, I'm sure you do." I roll my eyes. "Since the staff at the university don't know how to mind their own business."

"They're concerned about you, Arizona."

"That's sweet but I'm just fine." Clearing my throat, I furrow my brow when a familiar scent hits me. Glancing up, I find Eliza standing just outside of the booth and watching me. "Can I help you?"

"I don't want any trouble, Arizona." She drops her gaze. "I don't expect anything from you." Standing, I brush past her and she follows me to a quieter area of the bar. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to get to know the staff."

"Why?" I scoff.

"Because it's my first week here and I have to include myself."

"First week here?" I furrow my brow.

"I'm a professor at the University." She sighs. "The last I heard, you had left."

"And I went back," I state. "Anyway, don't let me being here get in the way of your perfect fucking life." Shrugging her purse up onto her shoulder, my eyes widen as my heart sinks into my stomach. "Y-You…" Shaking my head, I drop my gaze. "You're engaged."

"I am." She gives me a sad smile. _What the fuck does that even mean?_

"So not only am I not good enough for you, or worthy of an explanation…you come back here and flaunt what you've achieved over the past two years?"

"I'm not here to flaunt anything, Arizona." She shakes her head. "I'm just here to earn a living."

"And you could have done that _anywhere._ " I push past her. "You know, you may be perfectly fine and you may be happy, but you tore my world apart, Eliza. You completely ruined me."

"I didn't want that for you." She steps a little closer to me.

"Then you shouldn't have done what you did."

"I had to leave." She replies. "I had to get away from everything."

"Me included?" I raise an eyebrow. "You said all of the right things. You did all of the right things. I was just some fun for you, though…wasn't I? I was your experiment."

"No." She denies my claims. "That's not true."

"Bullshit!" I laugh. "I'm happy for you. I'm happy that you could move on with your life and find someone who loves you like I couldn't. I don't know where I went wrong, but I'm sorry I didn't make you happy. I'm sorry I couldn't be the love of your life. Just…stay away from me. Don't try to be my friend. Don't try to be my colleague. I don't want you in my life in any capacity."

"I'm sorry you feel that way." She sighs.

"And I'm sorry I wasted three years of my life on you." I scoff. "I'm sorry I was your first. Hell, I'm sorry I ever fucking met you." Moving away, I grab my purse from the table and head towards Alex. I just need a minute to fix myself up and then I'll rejoin my colleagues.

 _I just hope she is gone when I return…_

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**

 **Also, the final chapter of 'Can't Let Go' will be released tomorrow.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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One More Try: Chapter Two

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ELIZA'S POV

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This is a total mess. Everything my life has become over the past two years is a total mess. I know I've made my bed and now I have to lie in it, but I had to come back. Seattle feels like home to me, so yeah…I wanted to come back here once I found myself again. Once I'd gotten over the hurt and the fact that I no longer have any parents, I had to come back here. I know Arizona is done with me, but I knew that within the first six months of me leaving. I knew once I sent that letter to her, it would all be over for us. I'm okay with that, though. I'm not here to try and get her back. I'm not here to try and win her over and grovel at her feet. I lost any right to do that the moment I left and got on a plane for the UK. It was all I could do. It was the only thing that felt right in that moment. I had no intentions of taking that internship when I discussed it with Arizona, but when my mom died, my world truly flipped. My life changed. From the moment I returned home, I knew temptation was everywhere. I knew it only took one look from my old friends, and my life would return to everything I didn't want it to be. _The drugs…_

I know it doesn't excuse what I did, but I still believe I did the right thing in leaving. One hint of my old life, and I'd have made Arizona's a complete misery. She didn't deserve that. She was just getting over her own awful experience and she didn't need me to become a drugged up mess living in her home. Sure, it was _our_ home, but still…I couldn't have done that to her. Maybe she will never understand my reasons for doing what I did, but I do and right now, that is all that matters. She matters. She always did. I know she doesn't see it the way I do, but if I'd have stayed... If I'd have stayed within a thousand miles of my old home…I wouldn't be here now. I know I wouldn't. I'd be dead. Overdosed. I could feel it building within me. I could feel that hatred for my life seeping back into the forefront of my mind and I knew it was going to happen. Regardless of what Arizona said...it would have happened. Then I'd have pushed her away. Then I'd have hurt her. Maybe even physically. Then I'd have completely broken her with my actions. I may have done some of those things anyway, but it was the best thing for me. For us.

Now, though…she is free. We are free. At least, that is what I expected. She didn't reply to my letter. She didn't give me anything whatsoever so I figured she was done with us. I fully expected her to be done with us. I mean, there is no _us_ anymore. I get that, though. Then I come here tonight and she says all that stuff to me. What am I supposed to do with any of it? I'm engaged, for God sake. I have a fiancé. She's great and she's wonderful, but she's not Arizona. She has never been. I'm settling. It's as simple as that. Arizona was my one great love and I messed that up. So, I had to find the next best thing and that was Sam. She really has kept me grounded. She has been there and she has seen me through all of the heartaches that I've faced. It was one thing to lose my dad, but to lose my mom, too? That broke me. It broke me completely.

"Alex!" Sitting at a table alone, my old boss passes by me and stops. "Where is she?"

"Who's she?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Arizona…" I breathe out. "Where is she?"

"Far away from you." He spits. "You know, I told her tonight that if she wanted you back, I'd stand by her…"

"You're a good friend." I smile.

"Except you aren't here for her, are you?" He clenches his jaw. "I've never hated anyone in my life, Eliza…but I actually _hate_ you."

"Okay, I deserve that." I drop my gaze.

"No, you don't deserve _anything_." He holds up his hands. "You don't deserve anything from either of us."

"I know, but is she okay?"

"Fuck off, Minnick." He spits. "Go home to your fiancé and your fucked up life. She doesn't need you." Stepping closer to me, I lean back a little when he points his finger in my face. "I hope she was worth it. Whoever you're banging now. I can tell you one thing for sure…she will _never_ be Arizona. She will _never_ love you like Arizona did." Walking away from me, his shoulders are slumped and I can hear him muttering to himself.

Standing, I head for the bar and find a new guy working here. I mean, I think he's new, but I haven't been here for two years so he could have replaced me. "Scotch." Disappearing, he heads for the bottle of scotch and something catches my eye. _She's upstairs._ I know she is because Alex always has a full bottle of scotch behind the one in use. It's not there. She's upstairs. Throwing down some dollar bills, I take my scotch from the counter and head for the back.

"Um, ma'am…you can't go back there."

"It's okay, I'm Alex's friend." I feel awful for lying, but I just need to see Arizona for five minutes. Five minutes, and I'll leave her alone. Taking the stairs to Alex's apartment, my stomach suddenly doesn't feel so good. I mean, she doesn't want to see me and she has made it perfectly clear but I still need to check that she is okay. Reaching his apartment door, I knock lightly but the door opens slightly. "Arizona?"

"Fuck off!" Her words holding a world of venom, I think about turning around and leaving, but I can't. Pushing the door open, I step inside and my heart breaks. "Didn't I just tell you to fuck off?"

"Arizona, please can I just have five minutes?"

"Nope." She laughs. "You've had two years to ask me for five minutes…I think that time had passed, don't you?"

"I thought it had," I admit. "But you didn't reply."

"Reply to what?"

"My letter…" I sigh as I close the door behind me.

"You think _that_ deserved a reply?" She raises an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Well, it doesn't really matter what I think." I move a little closer and drop down into the seat beside her. "Just…are you okay?"

"Am I okay?" She smiles. "No, I'm not." I'm thankful that she isn't lying to me, but I'm not sure I want to know how much I've hurt her. _Maybe I need that though._ To know what an awful person I am. "You got engaged." Her voice breaking, she knocks back a glass of scotch and releases a deep breath.

"We didn't mean anything anymore, Arizona."

"To you, maybe." She gives me a sad smile. "You, you meant the world to me. You always did."

"I messed up, Arizona. I get that."

"Yet I still think about you every minute of every day." She admits. "Ten minutes before I bumped into you…I was thinking about you. Last night, I thought about you. This morning…I thought about you."

"I thought you hated me." I tug at my fingertips.

"I did...I do." She turns to face me fully. "But I loved you more…" _Wow…_ I don't even know how to feel about this conversation right now. I figured she just hated me and there was no more to it. "I thought you loved me, too."

"I did." I nod. "And that is why I left."

"That makes no sense at all." She furrows her brow.

"My reasons for leaving no longer matter, Arizona." I pour a fresh glass of scotch. "You said it yourself…you don't ever want to see me again."

"Can you blame me?"

"No, not at all." I shake my head. "Just know that I'm sorry, okay?"

"Sure." She rolls her eyes. "Enjoy your life, okay? Enjoy everything that I couldn't give you."

"You were my life, Arizona…"

"Yet just like that…you walked away and chose not to be mine." Her voice breaks and I place my hand over her own. "Don't." She pulls back.

"I just hate seeing you like this…"

"I've been like this since you left, Eliza. You didn't care then, and you don't care now." Wiping the tears from her eyes, she stands and paces the floor. "You should probably just leave…"

"I'm sorry…"

"Does she make you happy?" Her question causing my heart to break, I give her a slight nod and stand. "Then I need to never see you again." She cries. "I need to not have any sort of friendship with you. I can't do it, Eliza."

"But we work together…"

"I left my job for you once…I can do it again."

"That's a little dramatic, don't you think?" I furrow my brow. "I'm not asking you to leave your job."

"But _I'm_ telling you that I have to." She states. "You may have moved on, and you may be about to become someone's wife…but I can't be around you. I've spent the past two years crying for you. Holding myself for you. I've waited for you to walk through _our_ front door, but as of today…that all changed. You gave yourself to someone else, Eliza. You accepted a proposal from someone else. I can't be a part of that. I can't be your friend when you need someone you can talk about dresses and flower arrangements with."

"I wouldn't expect you to do that…"

"And I wouldn't expect you to ever come home to me…" She gives me a sad smile and turns her back. "I'll bet she's ten years younger than me and wants everything in life with you…"

"She is, yes." I know the age gap has always been an issue for Arizona, but the age of Sam has nothing to do with this. Nothing whatsoever.

"Then I'm happy for you. I'm happy for everything you have to come." Turning back to face me, I don't find that look in her eyes anymore. That wondering. That uncertainty. She knows we aren't anything anymore, and honestly…it breaks my heart. "You know, after everything Abby put me through? I promised myself I'd never get married again. I told myself I didn't need it."

"O...kay."

"But I planned on asking _you_ to be my wife." _Oh, god._ "I just wanted you to be in a good place before I put that kind of question on you. I wanted you to know that I loved you and I wasn't just asking you because you were hurting."

"Arizona…"

"No, you don't have to say anything." She holds up her hands. "I just want you to know that I wanted everything for us." She clears her throat. "I wish the best for you, Eliza…I really do. I just wish you'd have given me the chance to show you how much I loved you…"

Tears falling from my own eyes, I drop my gaze and back up towards the door. I can't do this with her right now. I can't hear all of these things. "I should go…" I throw my thumb over my shoulder before wiping the tears from my jawline. "Just…please don't leave your job, okay?"

"Where is she?" Arizona asks. "Why isn't she here with you tonight?"

"She's still in the UK." I give her a small smile. "Finishing up some work and then she is moving here."

"When?"

"N-Next week, why?" I furrow my brow.

"So I have time to prepare for avoiding you both." She sighs. "It's been good seeing you, and you look really great…but I think we're done here." Giving my ex-girlfriend a slight nod, I step out of Alex's apartment and close the door. My back connecting with the wall, I slip down it and the sobs wrack my body. I've made a complete mess of this, I know that, but I didn't expect any of this from her. I figured she would dismiss me and that would be it. I didn't expect her words. The things she has said to me… The things she just admitted. _I guess it doesn't change anything, though._

 _Nothing changes, but the one woman who means the world to me is broken in two behind the door I'm staring at…_

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I have spent the entire night awake and I simply cannot get Arizona off of my mind. I want to, but I can't. She just has that effect on me. Time and time again, she pulls me in with her words and I don't know what to do with myself. That's her, though. That's the beauty of Arizona Robbins. She's genuine. She's honest. It's all I've ever gotten from her and it was one of the things I loved about her. _Who am I kidding? I still love her._ I love her as much as I did the day I left her. I'll _always_ love her. The one thing I'm struggling with right now is the words she spoke last night. How she was sorry she ever met me. How she was sorry she was my first. I'm not sorry for any of those things, and it hurts to know that she doesn't feel the same way. It hurts to know that she wishes I was never in her life. Why? Because we were good. We were _so_ good together. I know this is all on me and I know I ran for the final time, but it was the right thing to do. It was right and I'll never stop believing that.

No matter how much she hates me right now…she would have hated me a whole lot more if I'd stayed and gone back to my old life. She will never understand that, though. _Of course, she won't._ She won't understand it because I've never told her why I left. Not really. Sure, I wrote the letter apologizing for leaving, but I didn't give my reasons. I didn't explain myself and my actions. Instead, I let her sit with it and it's no surprise that she didn't reply to my letter. Now that I'm back here, I totally understand why she didn't reply to me. _Why the hell would she?_

Pulling myself up onto a stool at my kitchen counter, I sip on my coffee and check my cell. I have three missed calls from Sam, but I'm not sure I can do this with her right now. She knows all about my relationship with Arizona and yeah…she was very wary of me coming back here without her. I can understand that, though. I'd be the same if I was in her position. I'm not in her position, though, and I need to clear my head. I need to think about everything Arizona said to me last night. It's played on my mind since the second I heard it all, so yeah, I have a lot of figuring out to do. _I didn't think I'd be in this position when I returned to Seattle._ Hitting the message tab, I send off a quick one.

 ** _Good morning. Running late. Everything okay back in the UK? E x_**

 ** _Sure. Just wanted to hear your voice. Sam x_**

 ** _Sorry, I'll call you later, okay? E x_**

 ** _I guess. Just wanted you to know that I've found the perfect venue for our wedding. Sam x_**

Oh god. What the hell am I doing? I've spent the entire night thinking about Arizona, but Sam is trying to discuss wedding preparations with me. _I'm a fucking asshole._ I know that much.

 ** _I'll call you this evening. E x_**

 ** _I love you. Sam x_**

 ** _Me too. E x_**

Could I have sounded anymore disinterested if I tried? Seriously, I need to fix my head up and get on with my life. I need to figure out what the hell my life is about to become and deal with it. I shouldn't even be thinking about Arizona right now, but she's the only thing in my head. _She always is._ I won't lie, I've laid awake most nights in the UK wondering what Arizona is doing. Wondering if she's happy and dating. I'm sure she's dated a ton of women but I guess none of them did it for her. I'd like to believe that she was being honest when she said that she still loved me, but I'm not sure. Alcohol and emotions don't go well when they're mingled together, so no…I'm not sure how honest she was with me.

 ** _Can I meet you for coffee after work? E x_**

Setting my cell down on the counter in front of me, I tap my fingers against my coffee cup and wait for the answer I know I'm about to receive. Arizona will never meet with me. I know that.

 ** _Okay. What time and where? A._**

 ** _Wow, um…whenever you are free. E x_**

 ** _I'm free now. I took the day off from work. What time do you finish? A._**

 ** _I don't work Tuesdays. E x_**

 ** _Okay, so? A._**

 ** _Maybe you could come by my place? Or I could come by yours? E x_**

 ** _Come by my place. I don't feel so good today. A._**

 ** _I'm on my way. E x_**

I'm totally not but I have to be. I have to throw on my chucks and get to her place before she changes her mind. I wouldn't blame her if she did, I know that much. Rushing from the kitchen, I reach the door and pull on my converse. Arizona has waited long enough for a conversation with me and I'm not about to have her wait any longer. She always did deserve better than I gave her, so yeah…I need to move my ass. Shoving my cell into the back pocket of my jeans, I grab my keys and head out onto my porch.

 ** _Just left my place. I won't be long. E x_**

 ** _Okay? Sam x_**

 ** _Sorry, wrong person. E x_**

 _Fuck!_ Now I'm going to have a whole other conversation tonight that I really don't need. I'd never do anything to hurt Sam, but meeting with Arizona isn't exactly doing anything wrong.

 ** _Yeah, I know that…but who are you meeting? Sam x_**

 ** _Just an old friend from campus. E x_**

 ** _You mean Arizona? Sam x_**

 ** _Yeah…_**

 ** _Awesome. So I'm stuck in the UK whilst you're hooking up with your ex? I knew this was a bad move. Sam._**

 ** _That's not true. We are just having coffee. E x_**

 ** _Yeah, whatever. Now I know why you were so desperate to get back to Seattle without me. Sam._**

 ** _I'll call you tonight. Just like I said I would. E x_**

Setting my cell to silent, I head down the street and towards a familiar home that I once called my own. A home that was once filled with complete love and happiness. A place where we shared a lifetime together, no matter how short it was in reality. A place where I know my past is about to come flooding back to me. _This could be a totally bad idea… But I have to do this. Even if it comes to nothing…_

 _I have to explain myself._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

One More Try: Chapter Three

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Why did I just invite Eliza here? I mean, could I be any more stupid? Maybe I want to see her one final time before I leave campus and pack up my crap, but whatever the reason, I know I'm going to be the one who is still hurt at the end of this conversation. I know I'm going to be the one who is still falling apart while her life is being pieced back together by another woman. A woman who I'm pretty sure is so much better than me. Of course, she is. She's Eliza's age. She probably has the same things in common with her. She probably does more for her in the bedroom than I ever could. I said the age gap would be the issue and I knew I would end up being right. If she had just told me she was looking for some fun…nothing too serious, I could have dealt with that. I could have distanced myself from her a long time ago. Instead, she led me to believe that she wanted everything. Instead, she told me everything I wanted to hear and then she left. She did the one thing she said she would never do and now I feel like I'll never love again. _I know I'll never love again._ I know that she was the one for me and I don't even want to explore anymore. I don't want to see if there is something out there that can curb my cravings for Eliza. I wouldn't put someone through that. I wouldn't ever do that to another woman, not when she isn't who I truly want in my life.

I'm happy that my ex-girlfriend is living her life happily, I really am. Just…what am I supposed to do? I've spent the past two years telling myself that she would one day return, and now I know that isn't ever going to happen…I feel even more lost than I did before she showed up on campus. I feel more destroyed seeing that ring on her finger than I did when I returned home to find her gone. I'm hurting, and I'm still broken...but this one final time with her can help give me some closure. It can hopefully help me to move on. I doubt it, but I have to begin picking the pieces of my life back up. I have to try to put myself back together. I'm waiting for something that will never happen, so yeah…it's time to let her go once and for all. No more chances. No more tries. Our time has officially come to an end, and that is what I will tell her today.

The sound of light knocking on my door, my heart sinks into my stomach at the prospect of seeing the gorgeous brunette I've prayed to see for two years. Climbing down from my stool, I straighten myself out a little and cross the short distance. I don't want to do this, but I have to. I have to see her one final time and then I'm gone. I'm leaving Seattle. I can't be here when she is…it's too painful. Everything about this is breaking my heart and I haven't even spoken two words to her yet. Pulling the door open, she looks a little flustered and I'm not sure why. "Um, come in."

"Thanks." She brushes past me and steps into my home. "Sorry, just…I lied."

"About?"

"Being on my way here." She breathes out. "I just…I didn't think you would agree to see me."

"I'm beginning to wonder why I even agreed to it myself," I admit. "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to explain." She gives me a sad smile. "Why I left. Why I hurt you…"

"You want to explain why you hurt me?" I raise an eyebrow. "I think it's pretty self-explanatory. You didn't love me…"

"But I did." She drops her gaze. "I always have, Arizona." _Okay, wait…what?!_ "I know you don't believe that and I totally understand why, but it was never about not loving you."

"Then what was it about?" I furrow my brow. "You just left, Eliza. I find it hard to believe that you loved me after you left like you did."

"I had to." I close my front door and motion for her to head further inside. Taking a seat on the couch that once belonged to us, she glances around and gives me a sad smile. "You kept our pictures up…"

"Yeah, uh…I'll take them down tonight when I pack everything up."

"What are you packing up?" She furrows her brow.

"My life." I sigh as I drop down beside her. "My home. I'm leaving."

"Where are you going?" Her voice breaks but I cannot deal with her emotions right now. I have enough of my own to deal with.

"I'm storing everything and taking some time out with my mom." Settling back, I'd offer her something to drink but that will only prolong this. It will only make it harder for me to watch her leave again. "I'll apply for something else after the Christmas break."

"Are you leaving because of me?" She asks, her voice trembling.

"What do you think?" I raise an eyebrow. "I can't be here with you, Eliza. I can't watch you live your life with, um?"

"Sam." She sighs.

"I can't watch you live your life with Sam in front of me." My stomach flipping at the thought of Sam with her hands on my ex-girlfriend, I close my eyes and release a deep breath.

"Maybe I should go back to the UK?" She suggests. "This is your home Arizona and I don't want to disrupt anything for you."

"That's kind but you disrupted my life a long time ago." I have to be honest with her. I have to tell her exactly how she's made me feel. If I'm never going to see her again, she has to know what she did to me. How she totally destroyed me. "Have you set a date?" I ask, trying to show some kind of interest in Eliza's life.

"Summer." She clears her throat.

"Wow." I focus my eyes anywhere but her own. I can't look at the happiness in her eyes. I can't see what someone else is giving her. It breaks my heart. "I'm sure it will be amazing."

"I'm not here to talk about weddings, Arizona. I'm here to try to explain why I left."

"Right, yeah." I smile.

"I couldn't put you through the pain of me staying here." She takes my hand in her own and it makes me want to break down and cry. It feels so good, but it shouldn't be happening. "When I went home for moms funeral, I realized I was about to spiral."

"Spiral?" I furrow my brow.

"Mm." She nods. "I wanted drugs, Arizona." _Okay, she's totally lost me._ "I wanted drugs and I wanted to self-destruct."

"I don't understand…"

"I know you don't." She squeezes my hand. "And you probably never will."

"I could have helped you…" My voice breaks. "I could have helped you through it all."

"You couldn't." She shakes her head. "And I never would have expected you to." Clearly, she doesn't know me at all. I thought she knew she could trust me. I thought she knew I could be whatever she needed me to be. "I'd have hurt you way more than I already have but I'm willing to accept the hurt I've caused you. I'm willing to accept it because it isn't half as bad as it could have been if I'd stayed."

"I don't even know what to say to any of that." I drop my gaze and tug at my fingertips. "I wish you could have trusted me."

"It wasn't about not trusting you, Arizona." I lift my gaze and study her face. "It was about not trusting myself."

"Yeah." I breathe out. "But you made it through." I smile. I guess some good came from her leaving. She didn't go back to her old ways. She didn't put her body or her mind through any of what it suffered in the past. I'm proud of her for that. "I'm happy for you."

"Thank you." She clears her throat.

"So…" I don't know what else there is to say right now but I feel like I should say something. "Are you okay?"

"I guess so." She nods. "I wish things had been different, but I they aren't."

"No, I guess not." I stand. "You should get home and do whatever it is you do nowadays."

"Not much." She shrugs. "Just the same as what you used to do. Class plans. Papers. Work…"

"Yeah, I can't say I'll miss any of that." I laugh. "Take care, okay?" I really don't want this to be the end, but it has to be. Eliza has someone else in her life and she is about to get married. It's not a 'kind of' relationship…it's the real deal.

"Y-You, uh…" Shaking her head she drops her gaze and I furrow my brow. "You would have asked me to marry you?"

"In a heartbeat," I reply. "Someone else beat me to it, though…and I'm okay with that."

"You are?"

"I have to be." I shrug. "You aren't mine anymore. You haven't been mine for two years, Eliza. If I'd have realized that sooner, I'd have gotten on with my life."

"I never wanted to leave you…" She steps a little closer to me. "But it was the right thing to do, Arizona."

"If that is what you believe, then I accept that." I nod. "I just wish this had ended differently. I just wish you'd have called. Told me everything. I'd have waited for you…"

"You'd have waited?"

"I guess in some way, I've always been waiting."

"I'm sorry I let you down." Her voice breaks. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

"Me too." I breathe out. "But you're happy and that is all that matters to me. It's the only thing that has ever mattered to me."

"I don't deserve your kindness." She shakes her head. "I don't even deserve to be here with you right now."

"You deserve happiness, though." I take her hand in my own. "If you are happy, then you have to take what you can get. I didn't make you happy enough to stay but that's okay. Sam has been through it with you. She was the one you chose to have by your side. Not me." I hate that I'm finally letting her go, but we both need this. We both need to close this chapter in our lives. It's not healthy for me to keep hoping. It's not healthy for me to hang onto something that is no longer mine. Something that will never be mine again. "I hope you have an amazing life, Eliza…but I have to let you go."

"Just remember that I didn't leave because I didn't love you." She squeezes my hand.

"But you don't love me anymore…" I give her a sad smile.

"I'll always love you, Arizona…but I hurt you way beyond repair." Pressing a kiss below my ear, she steps back and straightens herself out a little. My skin on fire where her lips have just been, I press my fingertips to the spot and try to hold back my emotions. I can't be the one who ruins her future for her. If she didn't want a marriage with Sam, she wouldn't have accepted her proposal. It's as simple as that. "Please think about staying." Stepping out onto my porch, I hate all of this. I hate watching her walk away. She was supposed to be my love, not someone else's.

* * *

 ** _"I'll always love you, Arizona…but I hurt you way beyond repair."_**

Her words have been playing over and over all day. Her voice is the only thing in my head right now. I've tried to do something and take my mind off of her but nothing is working. If I make coffee, I think about the times we shared coffee. Every morning, in our robes. Coffee usually involved a morning kiss and I miss that more than anything else. How she used to kiss me. How her soft lips felt against my own. That's exactly how they felt when they touched my skin this morning.

 ** _"I hope you have an amazing life, Eliza…but I have to let you go."_**

I didn't think I had it in me to let her go, but I did. I did for the final time but it hasn't made things any easier. It hasn't made me feel any better about all of this. I thought it may have left me feeling a little lighter, but it hasn't. It hasn't done anything other than crushing my heart that little bit more. Pulling my jacket around me tighter, I head towards Alex's bar and quicken my pace as the rain starts to fall. Rushing inside, I head straight for the bar and Alex sets a glass down in front of me. "Large one?" He waves a bottle of scotch in front of my face.

"Mm, I shouldn't but I'm not sure I care anymore." I shrug. "Fill it up."

"So, you guys talked, huh?"

"Yeah…everything is finished between us now." I take a large sip from my glass. "She's engaged. She's moving on. I'd do well to do the same."

"If that's what you want, yeah." He nods. "But I know it's not what you want."

"It doesn't matter what I want, Alex. The one woman I want is taken and I'd never do anything to jeopardize that."

"Why? Everyone else does…"

"It's not me." I shake my head. "I'd never ask her to come home to me whilst she has a ring on her finger belonging to someone else."

"You're too fucking kind, Robbins." He shakes his head and sighs. "You need to grab life by the balls."

"Um...I don't need any sort of discussion about balls if it's all the same." I give him a knowing look. "She made her decision and it's one I have to accept."

"She's here you know…"

"Fucking great." I slump in my seat. "That's why you called me here, isn't it?"

"No." He tries to defend himself but I'm not stupid. I know exactly what game he is playing. For someone who hated her just yesterday, he's got a funny way of showing it. "I just think you have to do things for _you._ Fuck everyone else. Who cares if they get hurt?"

"Wow, you're such a gentleman." I scoff. "I'll be okay, Alex. I promise."

"Still...you should get her out of my bar." He motions towards a booth. "She's had way too much to drink."Glancing over, I find Eliza slumped against her seat and I switch my gaze back to Alex.

"You let her drink herself into oblivion?" My eyes widen. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Had to get you two alone somehow." He shrugs. "Take her home."

"No, I'm not doing that." I furrow my brow. "What? Do you want me to have my way with her while she is unconscious?"

"Well, no." He laughs. "That would be wrong. Alcohol does tend to bring the truth out of people, though."

"I don't like this, Alex. I don't like what you've done." I slip off my stool. "You're an asshole." My heart breaking as I move closer to my ex-girlfriend, I nudge her shoulder and her eyes flicker open. "Eliza, I think it's time for you to go home."

"I can't." She shakes her head.

"You can and you have to." I give her a sad smile. "Come on, let me help you…"

"Why would _you_ want to help me?" She scoffs. "You hate me."

"I don't hate you." I help her up to her feet and wrap my arm around her waist. "And I don't want anything to happen to you so I'm taking you home." I'm not doing this for the same reasons Alex has suggested, but I can't allow her to leave here alone in this state. I'd never forgive myself if something happened to her. Helping her out onto the street, her head rests on my shoulder and I manage to get us a cab. "Come on, get inside."

"I can get home myself, Arizona." She glances up at me as she climbs into the cab. "You don't owe me anything."

"Just move over." I roll my eyes. "I'll get you home and then I'll leave you alone, okay?"

"Okay." She agrees. "Thank you." Taking my hand in her own as I settle down beside her, she runs her thumb over my knuckles and my body experiences the one thing it has wanted to experience for so long. Eliza. Just how she makes me feel. "You didn't have to do this."

"I know but you shouldn't go home alone…" I sigh, my head resting back on my seat. "I just have to be sure you're safe and I'll be out of your way."

"I don't want you out of my way." Her voice breaks. "I just…I miss you." _Okay, I don't like where this is going._ If Eliza was single, I wouldn't even hesitate to kiss her right now, but she's not single. She is very much involved. "I've always missed you."

"I'm sure that's not true." I glance her way and study her face. I can see it in her eyes, though. I can see the honesty. I know she may be drunk, but I know her well enough to know when she is being truthful. Right now is one of those times. "You have a fiancé, Eliza."

"I know." She sighs, her eyes closing. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry for being happy." The car comes to a stop outside Eliza's place and I pay the driver. It isn't too far from my home so I can walk back. I'll need the fresh air if this night is going to go how I think it will. "Let's get you inside."

Climbing from the cab, Eliza manages to see herself out of her own seat and she hands me the keys to her front door. Slipping it into the lock, the door opens and I would recognize that perfume anywhere. _God, that brings back some memories._ Too many memories for me to think about right now. "Arizona…" Her voice low, I turn to face her and find the door closing behind us. "I'm so sorry for all of the hurt I caused you."

"We don't have to do this…" I hold up my hands. "Just…get into bed and sleep, okay?"

"Don't go." She holds out her hand. "Stay with me, please?"

"I can't." I furrow my brow. "And you should sleep before you cause any trouble for yourself."

"Please?" She begs. "Just…don't leave me."

"You left _me_ , Eliza." I may sound a little harsh right now, but she did. She left me. She can't expect me to just stay here and be involved in some kind of affair. I couldn't ever bring myself to do that. "You are getting married."

"I always loved you…" She cries. "Always."

"You didn't love me enough to come back, though." I step around her. "I don't know what is going on in your head right now, but you have to fix yourself. You have to decide what you are doing. Just…keep me out of it."

"If I left her…"

"What?" My eyes widen. "If you left her…what?"

"Could we try again?"

"N-No." I give her an incredulous look. "You can't just spend your life picking and choosing what suits you, Eliza. You can't do to her what you did to me…"

"I didn't know you still loved me…" Her shoulders slump. "If I'd known, I'd have come back to you, Arizona."

"So, you're settling?" I laugh. "Because you weren't willing to come back and actually talk to me…you settled?"

"Yes." She breathes out. "Because I'm a coward, I settled."

"Then I feel bad for you." Gripping the door handle, I turn it and step out onto her porch. "You should talk to Sam." I breathe out. "If you don't want her…you should talk to her and you should be honest with her. Just…I hope it works out for you."

"What about you?" Her eyes find mine.

"Me?" I raise an eyebrow. "I'm living my life and wishing you well in yours…" Closing the door, my heart rate returns to normal and I head off down the street. I can't tell her how I'm truly feeling because I don't want her to be influenced by anything I say. She has to figure this out herself, but yeah…I want nothing more than to hold her in my arms again. I want nothing more than to call her mine for one final time.

 _My fear, though… it will never happen._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

One More Try: Chapter Four

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

 _One week later…_

Tired. That's the only way I can describe anything right now. I'm tired of life. I'm tired of hurting people. I'm tired in general and I just want it all to stop. I want my life to just fall into place but it isn't as simple as that. _Nothing is ever that simple._ I know I created all of this and I know that someone is going to get hurt, but I think Arizona is past caring. I think Arizona has just about had enough of me and my crap…so I don't know what to do. I don't know whether I should just leave Seattle and allow her to get on with her life. It seems like the easiest thing to do, and probably the best thing to do, but I don't want to never see her again. I know in my heart what I want, but I'm not sure she wants the same thing. She took me home last week and basically said her goodbye as she left. Who can blame her, though? My actions at the time may have been the right thing to do, but she got hurt. Arizona got so hurt and I know that I can probably never really fix this. I know I can probably never call her my own again. She deserves so much more than someone like me. Someone who doesn't have the willpower to face her demons in her home. Someone who doesn't run for fear of ruining the one life that means the absolute world to her. My reasons still remain for why I left, but the damage between us is more than done.

I can see it in how she looks at me. She doesn't look at me like she used to. She doesn't have that same presence about her. She's wary of me. Sure, she has every right to be, but I wish she wasn't. I wish she didn't feel so scared of being hurt by me again. So, I know the damage is done. I know that no matter what I say or do where Arizona is concerned…we will never be how we were. She could never forgive me enough to truly open back up to me...and knowing that hurts. It hurts…but I only have myself to blame.

Sam is due here in the next few hours and I'm finishing up any work I have on campus so we can have a major discussion tonight. I know it isn't going to end well and I probably should have spoken to my fiance before she made her way to the US, but she's coming here anyway. She's taken a job with the company she was at in London and it's her dream job. There is no way she isn't coming here…regardless of what I have to say to her this evening. _God, I'm such a fuck up._ Taking two coffees from the Barista, I head down the corridor and towards my ex-girlfriend's office. I may or may not have checked out her timetable and I may or may not want to just see her right now. She's avoided me all week, but that's okay. She has no reason to speak to me…I'm the one who left, after all.

Rounding the corner, I find her door slightly open and my heart rate picks up a little. I can smell her perfume. I can feel her presence. Things may not be how they used to be, but she still makes my world spin. She still makes my heart pound out of my chance at the mere thought of her. _God, I thought about her so hard in the UK._ It became easier the longer time went on, but I spent most of my days wanting to pick up the phone and call her. I spent most of my nights dreaming about the life we had and how I'd messed it up. _I just had to get back to a good place._ She knows why I left now, but I don't know if my eventual honesty has made any difference. I don't know if she is just processing everything or if she truly doesn't care about my reasons.

Knocking lightly, I hear giggling and it tells me that she is happy. Pushing the door open, my heart sinks into my stomach when I find another professor standing between my ex-girlfriend's legs, her hand on her thigh and her lips trailing down her neck. Their movements ceasing when Arizona finds me at her door, she furrows her brow and I back out of the room. "Sorry, I just...never mind." Clearing my throat, I turn on my heel and disappear from Arizona's office. How stupid could I be? I mean, I'm contemplating ending things with Sam with the hope that Arizona may one day take me back, but she's so moved on from me. She has no reason not to.

"Eliza, wait!" The sound of her voice causing my shoulders to slump, I turn around and find her eyes. "Did you need something?"

"No, I just figured I'd bring you some coffee by." I shrug. "Sorry, I shouldn't have just shown up at your door."

"You don't need to apologize." She furrows her brow. "You're my colleague. You have every right to show up at my door." _I'm her colleague…_ Okay, so that hurts hearing her refer to me as that. I'd sooner she just didn't refer to me as anything. It's easier that way.

"Have a good day, Professor Robbins."

"So, I don't get that coffee now?" She points to the cups in my hand and I glance down at them.

"I didn't think you would want it." I smile. "You're kinda busy right now."

"Rachel just left. She has a class."

"Right, well…um." Shaking my head, I realize I'm beginning to become a mess around my ex. "Then you can enjoy your coffee." Stepping a little closer to her, I hand her a cup and back away. "Enjoy."

"Did you want to join me, or?" She raises her eyebrow. "I mean, you don't have to but since you're here…"

"That would be okay, I guess." Giving her a small smile, she heads back into her office and I follow her. Closing the door behind me, I drop down into a seat facing her and I suddenly feel like I'm her student again. She has on that freaking skirt and those damn heels but I'm not here to undress her with my eyes. I'm here to simply share coffee with her.

"Everything okay here?" She asks as she settles down in her own seat. "You've settled?"

"I have." I clear my throat as I sit back. "Feels kinda weird being here as a professor but I'm sure I'll find my feet."

"Yeah, it's weird seeing you here as a professor." Arizona laughs. "You did good, though, and you deserve to be here just as much as we all do."

"Thanks." I give her a thankful smile. "You're not leaving?"

"Undecided." She toys with her pen. "I have some things going on in my life right now so I kinda need to stick around a while and see how it all plays out."

"Well, I hope everything works out for you." I do. I want her to be happy. She says it's been two years since she was happy, so yeah...it's her time to find someone who makes her happy. I'm assuming that's what she means by having things going on in her life, anyway.

"Is Sam settled?"

"She's due here at three." I sip my coffee. "She will settle, though. She's that kind of person."

"Sounds like the kind of person you need in your life." My ex-girlfriend nods. "Someone to keep you grounded."

"Oh, I don't know." I clear my throat. "I think it may all go wrong tonight when we sit down to dinner."

"Why?"

"I need to be honest with her." I study Arizona's face. "Even if she leaves me, I have to tell her how I feel."

"And how do you feel?" Arizona furrows her brow.

"Like I'm back where I should be." I sigh. "Like I made the biggest mistake of my life in taking so long to come back."

"You had your reasons." She shrugs. "Don't do anything you will come to regret, Eliza."

"I'm not." I shake my head.

"You love Sam. You should try and work through this." And that right there tells me that Arizona will never take me back. I guess deep down I knew this would be the outcome, but being back here has made me realize what I've lost. Being back here has made me only confirmed how much I still love Arizona. She will never understand the demons I faced when my mom died, but she isn't someone who would ever get herself into any kind of situation with drugs. "Eliza, you have to try."

"You really hate me, don't you?" A tear slips down my cheek and I brush it away. "I know you have every right to, but just how much do you actually hate me?"

"I don't hate you." She sits forward in her seat. "I hate what you did to me, but I don't hate you…"

"I'm having a hard time believing that." I give her a sad smile.

"Eliza, I spent two years craving you. Everything about you. You made me feel so loved that when you left, I felt like I had nothing left in my life. I _didn't_ have anything left in my life." She sighs. "And I lay awake every night imagining the moment you came back to me. Imagining how I'd take you in my arms and hold you just like I used to…"

"But…"

"But you moved on in London. You came back here engaged."

"I'll end it all right now." I find her eyes but she simply shakes her head. "I will."

"No, you won't." Her own voice breaks. "I haven't had you for so long…and having you back here has made me realize that I survived. I survived what you put me through. I survived the hell on earth that I was living. So, you should be happy with Sam. You said yes to her for a reason and regardless of whether I'm here or not…that reason still stands. You love her, Eliza…"

"But I'll always be _in love_ with you…"

"You'll forget me soon enough." She breathes out. "You forgot me once…you can forget me again."

"That's not true." I cry. "I never forgot you, Arizona."

"You've been sleeping with another woman for God knows how long…" She gives me a knowing look. "We both know I was the last thing on your mind."

"If you only knew the truth," I whisper.

"What does that even mean?" She holds up her hands.

"Nothing." I shake my head and stand. "I'll see you around, okay? Have a great weekend." Heading out of the office I had many amazing times in, I close my ex-girlfriend's door and make my way down the corridor. Arizona has her own life now, and I have to let her get on with it. She deserves the chance to start fresh with someone new…and it looks like she is doing exactly that.

* * *

My trip back from the airport has been virtually silent. Sam can barely keep her eyes open, and I've got the world on my mind right now, but I know I have to be honest with her when we get to our home. Pathetic, right? How I can call it our home when she's barely been on my mind since I left the UK. She deserves better than this. Her and Arizona both do. _Maybe I should just quit life altogether._ I mean, I only cause pain wherever I go so what's the point? What's the point in trying with either of them when down the line I'll fuck up? I always do so it's inevitable. Arizona is the one that I want. I know that with complete certainty, but I couldn't do this over the phone with Sam. I couldn't break up with her via a phone call. I may be a heartless bitch, but she deserves to be told the truth...to her face.

"So, your flight was okay?" I break the awkward silence.

"Yeah, great." She keeps her eyes on the window she has been looking out of for the past twenty minutes. She knows we aren't okay, and so do I. She's been off with me since the mistaken text message I sent her last week. Honestly, we've barely spoken to each other. "Just want to sleep now."

"Can we talk when we get inside?" Pulling up the drive of our home, she shrugs and exits the car. "Sam?"

"Eliza, I know how this is going to go, so do what you want." She gives me a knowing look and pops the trunk. Taking her bags, she moves up the porch and waits for me to open the door. Pushing it open, she steps inside and glances around. "Oh, she isn't here waiting for you?"

"W-Who?"

"Your perfect woman." She scoffs. "I mean, I didn't expect a welcome home banner or anything of the kind, but I expected Arizona to be here."

"Why would she be here?" I furrow my brow. "Arizona has her own life."

"And you are going back to it, right?"

"Sam, can we talk?" I ask. "No yelling. Just…talk."

"Say what you have to say so I can sleep and get out of your way." She rolls her eyes.

"You don't have to get out of my way." I grip her wrist.

"I do, Eliza." She turns back to face me, unshed tears in her eyes. "I haven't come here to be with you. I've come here to work."

"You've lost me…"

"I knew the moment you came back here she would be the one you wanted. I knew every time you talked about her that she was all you wanted. I may have been stupid enough to propose but I did that hoping you would only see me in your life. Not her or anyone else."

"Sam…"

"No." She holds up her hands. "I've always known you loved her. Jesus, the only time you are ever truly happy is when you are talking about her." Scoffing, she drops her gaze. "Just like right now…" She shakes her head. "I can see how your eyes light up at the mention of her name. The thought of her…"

"I'm sorry." It's all I can say to her right now. I know it will never be enough, but it's all I've got.

"She's giving you what I couldn't…" She laughs. "You know it isn't important to me, but I know she was your first. I know how much you crave the intimacy."

"It's not about that." I disagree. "None of this has anything to do with sex…or the lack of."

"Sure it doesn't." She steps away from me. "Still…she can give that to you and I can't. At least, not yet."

"Your beliefs have never been an issue, Sam. We both know that." I give her a knowing look. "But you're right…Arizona is the woman I'm supposed to be with. She is the one who makes me the happiest I've ever been."

"I know." She gives me a sad smile. "I just had to wait for you to admit it. To yourself, and to me."

"W-What?"

"I may hate that you are about to do this to me, but I've always known this day would come. I've always known that you would go back to her. Just…don't leave her again, okay?"

"She doesn't want me." I sigh. "But I don't want to do this with you and stay just because she doesn't want me."

"And I appreciate that." She nods. "Maybe you guys will figure it out."

"No, she has someone else in her life now…" It hurts to admit that, but Arizona is looking after herself and her own needs so I'm happy for her. "I'm sorry."

"Me too." She leans in and presses a kiss below my ear. "Can I crash here tonight?"

"You can stay as long as you need to. There is plenty of room."

"I get the keys to my apartment tomorrow, Eliza. It's just for the night."

"Apartment?" I furrow my brow.

"I told you." She smiles. "I knew we would end when I arrived here. I had to have another plan." Watching her walk away, I'm totally lost as to what is going on. She had no intentions of staying with me when she arrived here? Is that why she has been so distant? Has she been preparing herself…preparing to leave me? _Wait, did she just break up with me?_ Fucking hell, I can't even get a break up right anymore. Glancing down at my left hand, I slip my engagement ring off of my finger and set it down on the counter beside me. Sam has just let me go and now I'm truly alone. Alone in life and alone in this city. Maybe I'll figure everything out and maybe I won't. _Who knows._

Taking my cell from my pocket, I unlock the screen and pull up familiar contact details. I don't know why I'm doing this to myself but it seems I'm a sucker for pain and hurt in my life. It seems no matter what I do, I mess up. So, I may as well add this text message to the list of mistakes I've made in my life…because I know it's going to be one.

 ** _Sam broke it off with me…_**

 ** _I'm sorry to hear that, Eliza. Look after yourself, okay? Az x_**

Yeah, I'm definitely alone in this city. Shutting off the lights, I move towards the staircase and take them one at a time. I can hear Sam rummaging around in the guest bedroom but I should leave her to do what she has to do. Neither of them wants my time or attention, so yeah…that's me out for the night. I need sleep and I need a little time to figure everything out. What my life is. What it's about to become. Right now, I've never felt so alone, but I've made my bed…

 _I know that._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

One More Try: Chapter Five

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

 _Six weeks later…_

My life has truly changed. It has changed in ways I can't even begin to describe. Well, I can…but the more I think about it, the more I find it hard to comprehend. Eliza has been back in Seattle for near on two months, and for the past six weeks, I've totally avoided her. Our last contact was the night she texted me to tell me that she had broken it off with Sam and I haven't heard from her since. Sure, it's been nice to finally get my head back where it should be, but I do miss her. I miss her because I know she is in the same city as me. I miss her because I know she is in the same building as me most days. It doesn't change anything for me, though. It doesn't change the fact that there is nothing between us anymore. I want there to be something there, but she needs to be alone for a little while to figure it all out. She needs to take the time to just be with herself before she jumps head first into any decisions. I don't want to be the one who messes her life up, but I also want to be the one who she chooses. I know Sam and her aren't together anymore and I could quite easily pull her into my office and kiss the face off of her, but I'm not about to do that. Why? Because she needs time. I need time. I need to know that her coming back here was for me and not just because she was unsure. She has told me that she still loves me, but she has to really think about it. She has to truly know that I'm the one that she wants.

Honestly, I'm not sure that she does. I'm not sure that she has any idea what she wants in life. You don't just say yes to someone who proposes for the sake of it. Even if it is because its easier to settle than come back here and fight for my attention. _She would never have had to fight for my attention, though._ It seems that she wasn't aware of that, and before too long…it was too late. At least, that is what she believed. So, she said yes to Sam and I was still left alone. She said yes to Sam and I had to fight to climb from my bed each day. It all seems irrelevant now because she's back and single, but to me…it still hurts. To me, it matters that she did what she did. I cant just forget about that stuff and I hope she can understand that. If it takes her forever to realize that she actually lost me, then forever it will have to be. I want her, but I want my heart to not be broken more. _Because it still is._ Every time I pass her on the corridor, I'm reminded of the empty home I walked into when she left. Every time I catch her scent, I'm reminded of the nights I lay awake thinking about her. The scent that was left on the clothing she didn't take. The scent that was left on her pillow. Every time I see her…I want her that little bit more. _That is where she is beginning to become an issue to me._ I don't have any fight left in me, I know that now. Since she returned, I realized that. _This day has just been full of mixed emotions._ Emotions I don't have the energy to sort through.

Settled in my seat at Alex's bar, it's been a long day, but a good one. I met with Rachel for lunch and it's probably the first time in a long time that I've actually taken myself off campus and enjoyed real food. I know I keep saying that I'm trying to get back to myself but this time I have to mean it. This time I'm actually doing that. I have to. I cannot sit around any longer and watch my life pass me by. I mean, I'm not getting any younger, so no…now is the time for me to be me. I've been doing really well over the past four weeks or so, but today I feel different. Today I've constantly thought about Eliza and I know I shouldn't be doing that. I've managed to push her from my mind most of the time, but today, I can't. Today I just cannot get rid of this feeling I have inside of me. Apprehension. Worry. Uncertainty. I don't know why I'm feeling this way about her, or my life, but I feel like I have some things to say to her. I feel like I want to see how she is doing. It's wrong and totally stupid of me to do that, but it's just who I am. I'll always care about her. _Hell, I'll always love her, too._

I can see her sitting on the other side of the bar with her friends from campus and she has caught me watching her once or twice. I think she is avoiding me too, but I can't be certain. I'd like to believe that she's not, but I haven't exactly given her anything to work with in terms of how approachable I am. _She probably thinks I don't care that her relationship ended._ I do care, and probably in a way that I shouldn't. When she sent me that message several weeks ago, I wanted to ask her to come to my place so we could talk. I wanted to run outside and scream that I loved her for the world to hear. I didn't, though, and I believe I made the right decision. I believe that she needed this time to figure herself out.

Glancing up again, I find her heading towards me and now I'm suddenly lost for words. Anything I wanted to say has totally left my mind, but that can only be a good thing. I don't want to do this in the middle of a bar. I don't want to discuss what we were in front of anyone other than Eliza. The bar doesn't need to hear about my concerns or my feelings. Nobody does.

"Hey." She stops in front of my table and gives me a small smile. "You're sitting alone…"

"I am." I tap my fingers against the wood that is separating us. My other hand toying with the glass of water I've been staring at since I got here.

"Can I join you?" She asks, a little hesitation in her voice.

"I'd like that."

"You would?" She furrows her brow before taking a seat. "I didn't think you ever wanted to hold a conversation with me again."

"No, I was just giving you space." I smile. "A lot of space."

"I guess I should thank you for that." She leans forward and props her elbows up on the table. "I needed it."

"I know you did." I agree. "I didn't refuse to contact you because I didn't want to speak to you, Eliza. You have to know that." I'm being totally honest with her now. The days that followed after she informed me of her split were some of the hardest since she left. They were hard because I had to stop myself from calling her on many occasions. I had to stop myself from asking her to my office if we passed by each other at work. I managed to stop myself, and I'm thankful that I did. "Just, I've had a lot on myself and I knew that I couldn't have you in my headspace, too."

"I've taken up enough of your headspace to last a lifetime, Arizona." Her hand slipping across the table, I think about pulling back but I decide against it. "Do you think maybe we could try again, though?"

"I don't know," I answer honestly.

"I don't expect us to go back to normal, but let me take you out to dinner. A movie. Anything?"

"Dinner would be nice." I smile. "But I don't know what it will mean to you…"

"Well, I'd like to think that it's a date but I'm in no position to decide what dinner means right now." Her hand squeezing my own, she pulls back and settles in her seat. "I'd like you to at least think about it?" _I want to, I really do._ Just…things are different now. A lot different.

"Do you think that maybe we could talk?" My heart dropping into my stomach at the thought of having a particular conversation with her, she senses this and furrows her brow.

"You don't look like you wanted to ask me that…"

"I did." I clear my throat. "I do."

"O...kay." She draws out. "Did you want to talk now, or?"

"I'd love to but you are here with your friends and you should get back to them."

"I'd rather be talking with you than drinking with them, Arizona." She gives me a genuine smile and its one that I've missed. I've always missed her smile. It's adorable. "What's on your mind?"

"Not here." I shake my head. "Can we go back to my place?" This may be a bad idea, but I don't want to say what I have to say to her in this setting. I want to be alone with her when I do this.

"Sure. If you would rather be at home, I'm okay with that." She nods. "Did you want to leave now?"

"Yeah." I breathe out. "Just give me a few minutes to say goodbye to Alex and I'll be right outside with you."

"No problem." Standing, I head to the bar and find my best friend already watching me. Giving him a smile laced with uncertainty he takes my hand in his own and I drop my gaze.

"You've got this, Arizona."

"Really?" I scoff. "Because it doesn't feel like I've got it."

"Just be honest with her. Tell her everything." He squeezes my hand. "If it all turns to shit, call me and I'll be right over."

"If?" I raise my eyebrow. "You mean _when…_ "

"Robbins, you made the decision to do this. If she can't handle that, she should never have walked away."

"It's hardly her fault if she can't handle it, Alex. I wouldn't expect her to." Stepping away, I give him a small smile. "I'll see you soon, okay? I'll call you."

"You better." He points his finger at me. "I don't want you getting upset or hurt over this." I love how he has my back, but I have to figure this out myself. I have to lay it all bare and see how Eliza reacts. That will determine our future. It will determine whether we even have one. Stepping out onto the sidewalk, Eliza is waiting for me and she looks a little nervous. I know how that feels, believe me.

"You okay with this?" I ask. "If you've been moving on and living your life, I don't want to mess that up for you, Eliza."

"Living my life, yes." She gives me a sad smile. "But there has been no moving on from me." _Wow, okay._ I didn't expect that answer, that's for sure. "How have you been?" She asks as she falls into step with me and we head towards my home.

"Okay." I shrug my purse up onto my shoulder. "Just…changing my life up a little."

"Sounds interesting." She smiles. "I can't say I've been doing the same but this isn't about me and I'm sure you have no interest in my life."

"Of course, I do."

"Arizona…" My place comes into view and she grips my wrist, stopping me from going any further. "Are you still dating Rachel?"

"What? No." I shake my head. "We went out to dinner once and things got a little heated but no. Nothing is happening with us. We met today actually and agreed that it had to stop."

"Why?"

"Just...it's for the best." I sigh. "Are you coming inside or?"

"Y-Yeah." She clears her throat. "Just a little worried, is all."

"Me too." I breathe out. Slipping my key into the lock, I push the door open and find some paperwork sitting on the dining room table. Rushing towards it, I quickly shove it back into the folder it came from and push it under a pile of other files. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"Water would be good." She removes her jacket and drapes it over a chair. "You took our pictures down."

"I had to." I give her a sad smile. "I couldn't have you in my home if you weren't in my life. It was too hard seeing them every day."

"I get that." She breathes out. "I had to put my copies away or I'd have driven myself crazy."

"I wish you'd have called." My shoulders slump. I know we've gone over this before, but it's true. I'd have given anything to just hear her voice. "Just…I wish you'd have thought of me."

"I thought about you all of the time, Arizona." She motions for me to join her on the couch and I drop down beside her, two bottles of water in my hands. "You know, the night Sam arrived?"

"Yeah?"

"She broke up with me." She scoffs. "She said she knew all along that I loved you. That I was only ever happy when your name came into a conversation."

"Wow…" My eyes widen a little. "I'm sorry that she got hurt."

"Me too, but she said she always knew if I came back to Seattle we wouldn't last." She runs her fingers through her hair. "And she was right."

"You came back for me?" I drop my gaze.

"I did." She takes the waters from my hands and sets them down on the coffee table. "I knew I couldn't walk back into your life, though."

"You could have at least taken the ring off before you came here." I glance up at her and she takes my hand in her own. "I wouldn't have known anything about Sam then."

"But I would have been lying about my past if I didn't wear that ring. We hadn't broken up. We hadn't even discussed the fact that there were issues with me coming back here."

"This is crazy." I release a deep breath. "I mean, you're here. In the flesh." Shifting a little closer to me, she lifts my hand and presses a kiss to my skin. "Eliza…" My breath catching when her scent hits me like a freight train, I close my eyes and think about the future I'm about to have. One that doesn't include this woman right now.

"Arizona…" She runs her thumb across my cheek. "Please let me try again?" The heartbreak evident in her eyes, I shake my head and she furrows her brow. "Please?"

"I want you more than anything, Eliza…" I answer honestly. "But things have changed. For both of us."

"I know I messed up and I know you will probably never truly trust me again, but I really need this chance with you…" She doesn't strike me as the kind to beg, but I can hear it in her voice. I can hear how much she really wants this. Us. "All I've thought about since I got back was kissing you…"

"Don't." I plead.

"And all I've thought about is having you in my arms again…"

"Eliza…" My voice breaking as her lips inch closer to mine, I switch my gaze back to her eyes and a tear slips down her face. "You really don't want to do this…" I brush her tears away.

"I want this more than anything, Arizona." She gives me a look of total certainty, her words mirroring that look. "I've wasted two years of my life without you and I don't know if I can waste any more time."

"You really don't want me." I shake my head, her lips ghosting over my own. _Oh god._ "You should stop…"

"I can't." She breathes against my mouth. I'm about to cave, but this really shouldn't be happening. She should know everything before she even makes a decision about us. I'm pretty certain this is all about to end before it even begins. "I should be here with you, Arizona. Not in the UK. Not with someone else. Just…with you." Her lips pressing against my own, I feel alive for the first time in over two years. I can feel every emotion coursing through my body…but this has to stop. I have to stop. We have to stop. Pulling back, she drops her gaze. "You don't want me here, do you?"

"I do." I try to defend myself. "I want you here with me more than anything."

"Then what?" She gives me a look that tells me she needs answers. She needs to know what is going on in my head. "Why are you so hesitant?"

"I just…" Releasing a deep breath, I study her face and I know I have to be honest. I know I have to tell her the truth before this goes any further. She can walk away…and I fully expect that, but still…she has to know. _Of course, she will walk away. She didn't sign up for any of what is to come._

"Arizona?" She gives me a look of complete worry.

"I'm pregnant…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

One More Try: Chapter Six

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ELIZA'S POV

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I don't understand. I came here tonight with the hope that she would take me back, or at least try…but she's pregnant. How? I mean, why? _You have no right to even ask that question._ My head is pounding right now and I don't even know what to say to Arizona. I don't know how to begin even processing this. I mean, she's pregnant. Does she have someone else in her life that I don't know about? Did she meet someone and she's just been keeping me hanging as some kind of revenge for what I did to her? If she did, it's cruel…but I know how much I hurt her. I know how much I put her through. Seems the tables are turning and now it's my turn to feel that complete heartbreak. Sure, I broke my own heart when I left, but this is different. When she told me things had changed, I didn't expect this to be the outcome. I didn't expect her to do this without me. _Why the hell would she have waited for me?_ We've never discussed the possibility of a child. It has never come up in any of our conversations in the past. Maybe that should have happened a long time ago, though. Maybe she always wanted to talk to me about it. I don't know. I guess I never will know now, either. Arizona is going to become a mom, and I left her to go through all of that alone.

"Eliza?" She pulls me from my thoughts and I glance up at her. She looks devastated. Hurt. Terrified. "I-If you want to leave, you can."

"I, uh…" Furrowing my brow, I shake my head. I don't even know what to say right now. I'm completely shocked. "I kissed you."

"That's okay." She shifts a little in her seat.

"No, it's not okay." I disagree. "I mean, does your partner or whoever you have in your life know I'm here? Who I am?"

"My partner?" She gives me a look of total confusion.

"Whoever you're pregnant with…" Saying that word out loud sounds weird, but it's something I'll have to get used to. "The other mom…the dad, whatever?"

"There is no one else." She chews on her bottom lip. "It's just me…"

"Why?"

"Why is it just me?" She replies and I give her a nod. "Because I had nothing else in my life." She sighs. "It's something I've always wanted and I don't have the option of waiting and waiting…"

"We never talked about it." I drop my gaze. "I mean, it was never discussed when we talked about our future. I didn't know this was what you wanted." I'm not even making any sense right now, but my words are just coming out and I don't know how to stop it. I don't know how to form a sentence that even makes any sense. "Just…we never talked about it."

"We would have." She sighs. "Then things got messed up and you left."

"So, this is my fault?" I give her a sad smile. "Sorry, I just…"

"This isn't anyone's fault. I chose this, Eliza." She gives me a knowing look. "It wasn't a mistake or an accident. I chose to have a child…"

"I'm happy for you." My voice breaking, a tear slips down my face and I feel pathetic. Why am I crying? Why am I even still here? Arizona is finally happy and I'm sitting in her home trying to unbreak her heart. She doesn't need that from me. She certainly doesn't need the stress now that she is pregnant. _I should go._ She will be tired and she needs to rest. _God, I can't believe this is happening._ "Did you need anything?" I ask as I pull myself from my devastating thoughts. "Anything at all?"

"No, I'm okay." She gives me a small smile. "Thank you."

"I um…I guess I should go and let you get some rest." Standing, I slip my jacket over my shoulders and breathe through these intense feelings I seem to have.

"But you wanted to talk…" Her own emotions getting the better of her, she seems sad to see me leaving. _Okay, I don't understand what is going on at all right now._ "That's why you came here tonight, no?"

"I did want to talk." I agree. "But anything I had to say became irrelevant the moment you said what you had to say." Taking her hand in my own, I press a kiss to her knuckles and her eyes close. "I'm so happy for you, Arizona. You are perfect in every way imaginable, but you have your own life to deal with right now. You don't need the stress of me in your life. You really don't."

"But…"

"I'd never forgive myself if something happened to you because of me." Releasing her hand from my own, her head drops between her shoulders and she gives me a nod. "If you need anything…anything at all, you know where to find me."

"I didn't do this to hurt you, Eliza." Her voice trembles. "I just…I thought you weren't coming back."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Arizona." I curl my fingers under her chin and her eyes find mine. "I lost any right to a say in your life when I left you."

"I just…I needed you." She cries, my own tears falling a little harder. "I wanted you with me…"

"And I ruined that," I reply. "I know you don't want to be my friend, but you know I'll always be here for you. Anything you need, I'm just a call away."

"I can't be your friend." She shakes her head. "We were supposed to be a family, so I can't be your friend." _Wait, what?_ Furrowing my brow, I study her face and she steps past me. "I know you don't want or need this in your life, but I had to tell you. I had to be honest with you before I took you back and you felt stuck."

"I don't understand…"

"I told you what I did tonight with the hope that maybe we could work this out. Work us out." _Wow._ "You don't need this, though. You have your entire life ahead of you and I wouldn't expect you to stay. Not when it isn't what you want."

"Y-You mean…" I motion between us and she laughs. _She wants me with her for this?_

"Stupid of me, I know." Pulling the door open, she places a kiss below my ear and I can see that she no longer wants to have this conversation. She no longer wants me in her home. "I'll see you around campus, okay?"

"Y-Yeah." This isn't the end of this, no way. I just need to be alone with my thoughts for a little while and give Arizona the night to relax. If _her_ baby is about to become _our_ baby...then I need her to relax and look after herself.

* * *

I've been running for the past two hours and my body doesn't seem to be showing any signs that it wants to stop. Given half the chance I'd run the entire city of Seattle right now, but that's not my plan. I'm only out running so I can be nearer to Arizona when it becomes an acceptable time to knock on her door. I mean, I lay awake all night last night. Every time I thought about my ex-girlfriend, I wanted to run over to her place. Every time I thought about her sleeping alone, I wanted to hold her. Not because I feel bad about all of this, but because it's what she deserves. She deserves someone who will look after her. Get her what she needs...whenever she needs it. I can be that person. _God, I want to be that person._

Last night was a little strange for me. Sure, I was shocked about her pregnancy, but not shocked enough to walk away and leave her. I just thought that was what she wanted. Like, she told me about it and then left me to think through it. She didn't say she wanted me to be a part of it or that it was our baby, but once I realized what she was saying, she was almost pushing me out of the door. Once the word family fell from her lips…I knew exactly what she wanted. That explains the sadness in her eyes when I told her I should leave. It explains the tears when I didn't tell her what she wanted to hear. I didn't say any of those things because I didn't want to assume. I didn't tell her I wanted in on this because I didn't think it was my place to do so. I've hardly been the girlfriend of the year, have I? I don't exactly have anything going for me where my relationship with Arizona is concerned.

Leaving the coffee shop I found myself running towards a little while ago, I take a right and glance at my watch. It's just hit nine in the morning and I'm hoping Arizona will be awake and ready to begin her day by now. Or begin a conversation with me, at least. Quickening my pace, I'm careful not to spill the drinks in my hands and I cross the street as fast and as safely as I can. If I'm going to do this, Baby Robbins doesn't a dead mom because I couldn't cross the street properly. _Okay, don't get ahead of yourself._

I'd like to believe that I'm not getting ahead of myself, but I totally am. I'm totally beside myself at the prospect of sharing this experience with Arizona. I may not have been there for the beginning of her journey, but I'm sure as hell going to make up for it from this moment on. _If she will allow me to._ Reaching her driveway, I rush up the porch and knock loudly. I don't want to startle her, but I also want to be sure she knows I'm here. Hearing movement behind the door, my heart rate slows a little and it opens. "Eliza?"

"Hey, just…" Releasing a deep breath, I try again. "I brought you some weird drink filled with god knows what."

"W-Why?" She wraps her arms around herself and wow...she looks beautiful this morning.

"Because...its good for the baby." I wrinkle my nose. "I can't say how good it will be to you, though."

"I, uh…" Okay, she's lost. "You didn't have to do that." She shakes her head.

"I did." I counter. "And I need to do this, too." Moving a little closer to her, my lips press firmly against her own and she doesn't pull away. I'm not sure if that's because she wants me to kiss her or because she is in shock right now, but she hasn't pulled away and that is all that matters. "Sorry, I just had to."

"Eliza…" She breathes out. "Why are you here?"

"Because I love you, Arizona." I step inside and close the door. "I love you more than anything in this world and I always have."

"Don't say that." She wipes a tear from her jawline. "If you aren't here to stay…don't say that."

"I am here to stay." Setting the drinks in my hand down on a nearby table, I lock the door and turn back to face the woman whose heart I've broken one too many times. "I'm here to stay and I'm here to be whatever you need."

"You don't have to do this." She gives me a sad smile. "I want this with you, but you don't have to do this."

"I do." Running my thumb across her cheek, she leans into my touch and a slight sigh falls from her gorgeous mouth. "You want a family?"

"More than anything…" She cries.

"Then a family is what we will be," I state. "I know I have a long way to go to prove that I'm even worthy of this. Worthy of you. Just…let me try, please?"

"You can't leave again, Eliza." She places her hand on my own. "It doesn't matter how hard life gets…you can't."

"We are having a baby, Arizona. I'm going nowhere."

"We…" She smiles. _God, I love that smile. Those dimples._ "I need you, Eliza."

"You have me." I lean in and my lips ghost over her own. "You have me completely. I promise. Whatever I have to do to prove that to you, I'll do it."

"You don't have to prove anything." She shakes her head. "Just be here. Be mine."

"I am." Taking her hand in my own, unshed tears fill my own eyes when she places my hand on her stomach. "Oh god."

"The past is gone." She whispers. "This is our future." My heart pounding in my ears, tears fall freely from my eyes and I'm not sure how I'm even still breathing. "No more hurt, Eliza. No more running. No more leaving because you believe it's the right thing to do."

"I'm sorry." I cry.

"I know, and I'm beginning to forgive you." She leans in, my hand still on her stomach. "All I've ever wanted is to be happy with you…but you have to meet me half way."

"Forever." I nod, my eyes still closed. I just need to take this moment in. I need to remember this exact second for the rest of my life. This is a where I should be. Not in the UK. Not in a different home with another woman. Here...with the absolute love of my life. "I need you to know that I'm sorry for what I did, Arizona."

"I know you are." She runs her fingertips up a little and they settle on my wrist.

"I did it because I didn't want to hurt you, but I should have come home sooner. I could have become a professor here, but I chose not to." I admit. "I'm here to do this with you, though. Every step of the way."

"Promise?" Her voice breaks. "Promise that you won't leave me again?"

"Arizona, if I have to get down on my knees and beg for your trust, I will." I have nothing except for this woman and the incredible tiny baby growing inside of her. You know what, though? I don't _need_ anything else. I don't _need_ anyone other than who I have. This is all that matters. If I have to spend my life showing Arizona how much I love her, I will do that. She is the most important person in the world to me, and even though my actions hurt her, I did the right thing. If I'd stayed…if I'd lived here these past two years, we'd have fallen apart. We'd have fallen apart so quickly that this reconciliation wouldn't ever be happening. The demons inside of me would have won out and this would have been so much more than it is right now. In time she will come to understand that, but right now…I have my people to look after. I have to be the one who steps up and makes our lives amazing.

"Stay with me a while?" She asks as she guides me through her home. "I'm sure you have things to do, but just for a little while?"

"I'll stay as long as you want me to." Taking a seat on the couch, she drops down beside me and rests her head on my shoulder.

"I can't believe you are even here right now…" She sighs. "What made you change your mind?"

"I didn't," I answer honestly. "Last night when you told me about it all, I didn't know you wanted me to be involved. I didn't think you wanted me to be a part of anything you have. Then you told me we were supposed to be a family and I knew in that moment that I wanted this with you."

"Yeah?" She glances up at me.

"God, yes."

"I've missed you so much, Eliza." Her eyes never leaving my own, she studies my face. "Everything about you. Everything that we were."

"This time will be better." I press my lips to her own. "I know I can't just walk back in here and carry on as though nothing happened, but in time…this will all be better."

"God, I hope so." She breathes out.

"Mm, I know so." Falling into a comfortable silence, I'm just as shocked to be here as Arizona is. I mean, everything was beginning to fall apart. Everything I'd hope to find when I returned to Seattle was gone. We still remained, but our lives as one didn't. Nothing was the same and I guess in a way it never will be. My life is about to change in ways it never has, and I'm seeing it through this time. No matter what comes with all of this, I'm here and I'm not leaving.

 _Wow… I'm going to be a mom._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**

 **Next chapter will involve more discussion (How it all happened). Let me know if you want another chapter tonight. Happy Wednesday!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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One More Try: Chapter Seven

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Eliza left my place a few hours ago, but she has agreed to come back tonight so we can talk some more. She had been out running when she came by this morning and she doesn't have any of her belongings here anymore. Sure, she has the odd thing still here that I didn't want to throw out, but her letter to me six months after she left stated that anything belonging to her was to be put in the trash. It was to be put in the trash and I was to forget about her. The more I think about that letter, the more I'm glad I didn't let her go. I don't know where my life would be at right now if I had done as she asked. Sure, I've been completely broken for the best part of two years, but she is here and we are about to start one hell of a chapter in our lives. A chapter I'm not sure I would ever begin. My decision to do this wasn't taken lightly, but I knew I had to. If I was ever going to get back to my life, I knew I had to fulfill the dreams I lay awake thinking about. I mean, Eliza wasn't here to fulfill them with me, but I couldn't wait any longer. My life is ticking by before my eyes and I couldn't risk waiting any longer.

Toying with the envelope in my hands, I'm sitting up on a stool at the kitchen island and everything about today has made me realize that Eliza didn't do any of this to hurt me. I've only read this letter once and at the time…once was more than enough. I didn't want to look at the words she had handwritten me. I didn't want to touch the paper her fingers had caressed. To most, it seems silly to think that a letter is the only connection you have left, but it's how I felt. It's all I had left of her. Her words. Her honesty. Taking the perfectly folded piece of paper from the envelope, I run my fingers over the writing and release a sigh.

 ** _Arizona,_**

 ** _I don't ever expect you to understand the reasons for me leaving you, but it was for the best. You deserve the world and a lifetime of love and happiness, but I cannot give you that. I'd like to believe that one day I can, but in this moment…I'm battling. I'm battling for my life and my feelings. I'm battling just to breathe each day when I wake._**

 ** _You were more than I ever could have hoped for in the weeks after my mom's death and I can never thank you enough for how you held me when I needed it. How you dropped everything just to be there for me. How you allowed me to cry and be angry at the world. You are a beautiful soul and I want the very best in life for you._**

 ** _I thought that was me. I thought I could give you the world. It seems I was wrong and I'm sorry for any hurt or pain I've put you through since I left. Be happy, Arizona. I'm not worth the tears or the sleepless nights you may have had. I'm not worth anything right now. Do everything you've ever wanted to do. Be everything you've ever wanted to be. Most of all, forget I ever existed in your life. In this world._**

 ** _If you are still reading… Know that I will always love you and I will always remember you. You deserve so much more than this._**

 ** _Eliza_**

 ** _X_**

Releasing a deep breath and closing my eyes, tears fall down my face but I don't feel the same emotions that I did when I received this letter some eighteen months ago. I feel…lighter, maybe. I feel like I can read this now and try to understand why she left. Try to understand why she believed she would hurt me if she stayed. I know how she has struggled in the past and I know how she pushed through, but at twenty-one, she had faced a lot. The death of both parents. Drugs. The death of her friend from an overdose. Yeah, that stuff is enough to tip anyone over the edge. Those heartbreaking moments are enough to crush anyone. Knowing why she did it, I don't feel as personally attacked. I don't feel like she did it to intentionally hurt me any longer.

At first, I did. When she left I felt like she had just given up on us completely. Whilst I accept that she had to go…I don't accept that she couldn't keep in contact with me. She knows how much I love her. She knows how much I'd do anything to make her happy. If that meant waiting ten years for her to feel good again, I'd have waited. I'd have waited an entire lifetime for her. _But she's back._ She's here. She wants this with me. I don't really know how I feel about it all yet, but I'm trying to process it in my own time. I'm not rushing this. Rushing means things are more likely to go wrong along the way, and I don't want that. I don't want anything to get in between us as the months pass and my bump grows. _Yeah, I'm still trying to take the idea of that on board._

The one thing I'm worried about in all of this is Eliza. I'm worried that she is going to beat herself up about her past when it really isn't necessary. So long as I trust her and so long as she reassures me that she wants this, it never needs to be discussed again. Once this evening ends, I want us to be on good terms. If down the line something crops up, we will deal with it then. But for now, I need us to just get back to our good place. I may be a little too hopeful, but we can do this. We can be good again. We have to be, right? My cell buzzing on the counter, I glance down and find Eliza's name on the screen.

 ** _I'm on your street. Is it still okay to come by? E x_**

 ** _I didn't want you to leave before. Az x_**

 ** _So, that's a yes then? E x_**

Climbing down from my seat, I move towards the window and catch sight of the brunette I've craved for two years. She is smiling at her cell and it settles me more than any of her words have since she returned home. Hitting the screen, I decide to put her out of her misery.

 ** _It's a yes. I missed you the moment you left…_**

Her smile widening as she receives my message, she rushes across the street and I'm at the door before she has time to even knock. "Finally…" I roll my eyes. I know things aren't good between us right now, but I feel like I've fallen right back into the playfulness we've always shared. It just happens naturally. "I thought you were just going to stand across the street all evening…"

"Just wanted to be sure you hadn't had a change of heart." She gives me a sad smile.

"That's not going to happen." I step aside and she enters my home. _Our home._ I know it may be too soon, but the second I feel like she will take me up on my offer, I want her back here with me. I don't want to live separate lives any longer than we have to. "You didn't bring any of your things with you?"

"Oh, no." She shakes her head as she moves into the kitchen. "Just…didn't know if it was appropriate."

"Not even a change of clothes?" I wrinkle my nose.

"Sorry." She sighs. "I'm a mess with all of this, Arizona. I don't know what is and isn't acceptable right now."

"Right, yeah." I agree. "Sorry, I'm just trying for things to be as normal as possible for us, is all."

"Then I will do the same." She smiles as she approaches me. "How are you feeling? Can I do anything for you?"

"You could make yourself comfortable…" I suggest as I grab some stuff from the dining table. Papers. Things she should probably know.

"Okay." She nods. "Just…are you sure there isn't anything I can do?"

"Eliza, I'm fine." Taking a seat beside her, she places her hand over my own and squeezes it tight. "I just want you to know how this all happened."

"Thank you." She smiles. "For being honest and trying to include me in all of this."

"I just think that you should know…" I clear my throat. "I didn't do any of this without thinking about you first."

"I don't understand…"

"Well, when I was looking for a donor, I wanted to include you in the search. I mean, I chose someone that _didn't_ look like me. Someone who doesn't have blonde hair and blue eyes."

"You did?" A small smile curls on her mouth. "Why?"

"I guess deep down I always hoped you would come back." My eyes finding hers, she wipes away a tear that has gathered at her jawline and I take a sonogram from the folder in my lap. "I always wanted this to be my future with you, but I couldn't wait any longer, Eliza. I couldn't wait for you to come back before I began this journey. I may have hoped you would return, but I didn't always feel that way. I didn't always imagine you coming home to me…"

"What's that?" She furrows her brow. "Is it…" Closing her eyes as I hand over the image in my hand, she shakes her head and releases a deep breath. "I can't believe this is happening…"

"Me neither." I shift a little closer to her. "That's our baby, Eliza."

"Wow." My body totally relaxing next to her, she runs her fingers over the sonogram and her smile grows a little wider. "You picked someone who may look like me?"

"I did." I give her a nod in agreement. "It was important that you felt included."

"Why are you giving me this opportunity, Arizona?"

"Because I love you," I answer honestly. "I know you left, but you have explained. You have told me why and I'm beginning to understand that it wasn't as simple as just staying and hoping for the best."

"I appreciate that." She breathes out. "It was never about not loving you or not wanting to be with you."

"I know." I lace our fingers together. "So, eight weeks in, and this is the result."

"Eight weeks?"

"Well, almost." I roll my eyes. "I had my appointment three days after I knew you had come back," I admit. "I just…I couldn't tell you about it. You were engaged and I couldn't do that to you. I couldn't be the one who ended all of that. I mean, I wasn't even sure you were back for me."

"I knew in my heart that you were who I wanted." She wraps her arm around my shoulder and presses a kiss to my head. "But I also knew that I couldn't walk back into your life."

"You're here now…" I smile. "Just…talk to me. Be honest with me if you are struggling. All I ever wanted was that. All I ever wanted was for you to pick up the phone and call me."

"I couldn't." Her voice breaks. "I knew if I called you, I'd come back here and we wouldn't have survived. The second I heard your voice I'd have packed up and come back."

"I wish you had of."

"And I'm beginning to wish I had, too." She admits. "Everything happens for a reason, though." You know, she's right. Everything does happen for a reason. It does make me feel like I did this at the right time. I mean, she shows back up in Seattle three days before my appointment? I didn't just walk into the clinic at random and do this. It took a lot of planning. A lot of thinking. Around eight months worth if I'm not mistaken. Something inside of me tells me that I was supposed to do this when I did, and Eliza was supposed to reappear in my life when she did. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason but as the months past…the years, even, I lost my way with my beliefs. I lost my way with everything.

"All I've thought about since you came back was how she had you and I didn't. How she loved you and made you feel good…"

"It wasn't like that, Arizona. It wasn't that you couldn't give me what I needed."

"I hate knowing that she's had her hands on you." My voice breaks. "Just…I always thought you would be mine and nobody else would ever compare."

"Nobody else does compare." She turns her body a little to face me better. "And I am still yours."

"No, I mean intimately." I drop my gaze. "It meant so much to you and it meant a lot to me…I just wish I was the only one who'd ever made you feel that way."

"You are."

"I mean, I guess it doesn't matter if you are happy…" I give her a small smile. "It just meant something to me that night you gave yourself to me. It meant the world that you trusted me how you did." _I can remember that night like it was yesterday._ How she begged me to touch her. How she told me that she trusted me to take something so special from her. Yeah, I struggle knowing that I'll never be her only one. The engagement isn't even concerning me right now. It's the intimacy. The intimacy I missed out on…but Sam gained.

"Arizona…" She stops my rambling and runs her thumb across my bottom lip. "I _am_ still yours."

"W-Wha-" Cut off when she presses her lips against my own, is she saying what I think she is? Is she telling me she has only ever slept with me? _No, no way._

"The first woman I slept with was you…" She rests her forehead against my own. "And the last woman I slept with…was _you_."

"H-How?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper. _She didn't sleep with Sam? Oh god…_

"It doesn't matter right now." Her eyes bore into my soul. "It just matters that yours is still the _only_ touch burned into my mind. Onto my skin." My breath catching when her words reach my ears, I find the papers in my lap falling to the floor and my legs now straddling her own. "Arizona." She breathes out, her breath mingling with my own. "We shouldn't."

"We aren't." I smile against her mouth. _But god, I wish we were._ "Just...I wanted to feel how I used to feel. I just wanted to be us for a moment."

"God, I want that so much." Her hands rest on my thighs and my eyes close. "I've missed you, Arizona." Her voice low, it takes me back to what feels like a lifetime ago.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" I ask, my lips ghosting over her own. "Are you sure you're ready to do this with me?"

"I've never been more sure about anything in my life…" Studying her face, I see nothing but complete love and honesty in her eyes. Just how it always was. Just how it always should have been. I may have lost two years with her, but I'm about to gain so much more. I'm about to gain a family. A true life. Absolute joy.

"Then I need you to do something for me…" I whisper, my heart pounding in my chest. I don't know why I suddenly feel so nervous, but I guess I'm still wary of being rejected. Will she wake up in a few days and realize that this is a mistake? That she cant do it? God, I hope that doesn't happen, but I have to live for now, and right now…Eliza is in my home and making me feel something for the first time since she left.

"Anything, Arizona." She breathes out, her eyes never losing mine. "Absolutely anything."

"I need you to stay the night." With nothing but a nod in agreement from Eliza, she pulls me in by the back of the neck and slips her tongue into my mouth. Just like that…my world feels like it is piecing itself back together. Just like that…I'm reminded of that connection I believed was lost forever. Just like that…we are one.

 _Her touch means everything to me right now…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

One More Try: Chapter Eight

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ELIZA'S POV

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Waking to an empty bed, I furrow my brow and remember exactly where I am. I'm in my old home. My old bed. The home and bed I shared with Arizona…but she isn't here. I can hear movement coming from the bathroom but I don't suppose she really wants me around her right now. It's the first morning since we got back together… _I think,_ and I don't know how she is feeling about it all. She may want some time alone, and she may be processing, so I'll do the right thing and give her that space and time. Sure, she asked me to stay the night but that doesn't mean she wants me all over her first thing in the morning. Things have changed for us, and I have to remember that. I have to remember that she is carrying our baby and she won't always be feeling good. _Wait…she's carrying our baby!_ Rushing from the bed, I head out into the hallway and yeah…she's throwing up. My heart breaking for her, I knock on the bathroom door and she mumbles. "Arizona?" Pushing the door open a little, she is hugging the toilet. "Can I come in?"

"Mm…" She nods, sweat gathering on her brow. "I need you in here with me." She drops her head and continues what I expect is going to become our morning routine for the foreseeable. Taking a cloth, I saturate it with cold water and place it on the back of her neck. Moaning in appreciation, she rests her head on her arm and her eyes close.

"What do you need?" I ask as I drop down beside her.

"Just this." She sighs. "You…"

"I'm here." Pulling her hair back, I fix it up into a messy bun and wait for her morning sickness to pass. I don't know if she has been struggling alone with it, but I hope she hasn't. I hope I made it here just in time. Sitting back on her knees, she leans against me and my arms wrap around her waist, settling gently on her stomach. "You okay?"

"I think so, yeah." She nods. "Eliza…"

"What is it?" I furrow my brow as I place a kiss below her ear.

"Will you still love me when I'm fat?" _She's just as adorable as she always was._

"You won't be fat…you will be freaking beautiful." Her hands resting on my own, she squeezes them tight. "God, I've missed you so much."

"Me too." She agrees. "Just…do you think I could sleep a little longer?"

"You can sleep as long as you need to." Helping her up to her feet, she groans and turns back to face the toilet. "You going to heave again?"

"N-No." She releases a deep breath. "Thank god."

"Okay, back to bed for you." I guide her out of the bathroom and along the hallway. "I don't want you up until you're feeling better."

"Eliza, I can't stay in bed all day." _It's really no use arguing with me. This is happening._ "I have things to do."

"Like what?" I raise an eyebrow as she climbs back into bed, in my spot that is still warm.

"Mm, I don't know but our bed smells of you." A smile curling on her lips, I lean down and press a kiss to her forehead. "This will always keep me grounded." Curling her body around my pillow, her eyes close and her breathing begins to even out. "Thank you."

"For what?" I drop to my knees and graze my nails up the back of her neck.

"For coming back." She takes my hand in her own. "More so when I needed you the most."

"You shouldn't be thanking me." I press my lips to her knuckles. "I shouldn't have left you for so long." Lifting the sheet over her body, I bring it up to her shoulders and make sure she is warm enough. The weather looks pretty terrible today, so I need her to keep warm and feeling good. Or better, at least. "Just sleep, okay?"

"Kay." She snuggles down and I leave her to enjoy the rest of her morning in bed. I have some things I want to say to her, but she doesn't need to hear it right now. She doesn't need the headache of me being needy and whiney. Hell, even I don't need that headache. Taking the stairs quietly, I head for the kitchen but I'm distracted by a light knocking at the door. Unlocking it, I'm met with a familiar professor staring back at me. "C-Can I help you?"

"Sorry, is Arizona home?" Rachel shifts a little uncomfortably from left to right. "Just…I wanted to give her these." Holding up a gorgeous arrangement of flowers, I don't quite know what to make of this.

"She's sleeping right now." I clear my throat. "She isn't feeling so good."

"Could you pass them on for me?" She asks, nerves evident in her voice. "I'm not here to cause any trouble between you both."

"S-Sure." I give her a small smile. "Did you want to leave a message, or?"

"Just that there are no hard feelings." She smiles. "You're her, aren't you?"

"I'm who?" I furrow my brow.

"The one she's been waiting for…to come home, I mean."

"I guess I am, yes." I nod slowly. "I suppose I've been the talk of the campus, huh?"

"Yes, but from Arizona…only good things. I promise." Holding out her hand, she shakes mine firmly. "Rachel Shepherd. English Professor."

"Nice to meet you." I smile. "I'll have these put in some water and I'm sure Arizona will want to thank you, so expect a call later."

"Oh, she doesn't have to do that." She waves off my comment. "I'm sure she is busy."

"She's just that kind of person, though." I shrug. "She will want to say thank you." Gaining a nod from the professor, she heads down the porch and onto the street."

"Great to finally meet you, Eliza." Throwing me a wave, she disappears out of sight and I don't even know what just happened. _Okay, so she's nice._ Finally, one that doesn't seem like the bitch from hell. _Oh, wait! That's me._ Closing the door and locking up, I head for the kitchen and place the beautiful arrangement in my hands into some water. Arizona loves flowers and Rachel has picked well. _I'm happy she had someone who cared whilst I wasn't here._ It makes me feel a little better but wary at the same time.

 _You got her…don't forget that._

* * *

Settled on the couch, it's a little after twelve in the afternoon and Arizona is moving about upstairs. She hasn't called for my help so I'm minding my own business and trying not to get in her way. If I'm not careful, she will remember I'm here and kick my ass out of the door. She will remember all of the things I did and said…how I hurt her, and I'll well and truly be out on my ass. Shaking my head when I remind myself just what a bitch I've been, I find tears falling down my face…and they're falling fast. I haven't really had much of an opportunity to sit and think about all of this, but that is what I've been doing all morning. Being alone often means I have a million and one thoughts floating around my head, but this time it's expected. I mean, I'm twenty-three and I'm about to become a mom.

Did I expect that? No. Does it mean I'm not capable of doing this? No way. There isn't a chance that I'm backing out of this, and I hope Arizona knows that. I hope she really truly believes that I'm here to stay. I couldn't blame her if she was wondering because running seems to be my favorite thing to do, but when I told her I was here…I meant it. When I told her that I couldn't ever leave her again, I'd never been so sure about anything else in my life. I know where I'm supposed to be right now, and that is here…in this home…with the woman I've loved more than anyone else. The sound of bare feet hitting the hardwood floor, I quickly wipe the tears from my face and clear my throat before glancing back. "Hey, you feeling better?"

"Much better." Blue eyes focus on my own. "Seems you're not, though."

"I'm sorry?"

"You've been crying." She gives me a sad smile. "Care to share?" Dropping down beside me, she pulls a blanket over her legs and turns to face me.

"It's nothing." I wave off her concern. "I was just having a moment."

"Mm, I've had a lot of those." She smiles. "So…talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking?"

"Really, it was nothing." I brush a few stray hairs from her face. "I was just giving myself a moment to realize that I'm actually back here with you."

"And did you feel good in that moment you just had?" She gives me a look of worry. "Or are you beginning to regret it?"

"No, not at all." I take her hand in my own. "Just…I can't believe I'm going to be a mom."

"Crazy, huh?"

"Too crazy to even process." I agree. "But I'm happy." I give her a look of complete certainty. "So happy."

"I'm happy you're here, too." Furrowing her brow, her eyes find the arrangement of flowers on the kitchen island and she glances back to me. "Are they for me?"

"Apparently so." I nod. "Rachel stopped by."

"Oh." She drops her gaze. "I'm so sorry…we did end things, Eliza."

"I know." I run my thumb across her knuckles. "She was actually really nice."

"She is." Arizona agrees.

"Did you guys have a thing for long, or?" I'm not prying, but I don't know anything about Arizona's love life whilst I've been gone. "I mean, was it serious?"

"No." She shakes her head. "It lasted a few days."

"Oh." I furrow my brow. "I figured when I came back you would have been settled down and happily engaged…married, whatever."

"Eliza…" She breathes out. "I didn't date."

"What do you mean you didn't date?" I laugh. "How could you have not dated?"

"I didn't want to." She shrugs. "I didn't want to in case you came back. Just…I knew if you came back I'd want you in my life so I figured it was easier to not date and then I couldn't break some poor woman's heart."

"And now I feel like an even bigger asshole." I sigh.

"Why?" She gives me a look of confusion. "You were only doing what you thought was right for you at the time."

"I always knew what was right…but I still kept you hanging on." I shake my head, my voice breaking. "So, it was just one night stands?"

"No." She replies. "Nothing."

"What do you mean…nothing?"

"I mean I haven't been with another woman other than you." She laces our fingers together. "Last night was the first time I'd slept next to someone since you left."

"R-Really?" _Okay, I didn't know any of this._ In a way, I'm relieved, but on the other hand…I feel bad that she avoided any kind of intimacy whilst I was gone. It just shows that she truly was waiting for me to one day return. "God…"

"What?" She furrows her brow.

"This just makes me want you even more than I already do." Closing my eyes and breathing through the desperate need to touch Arizona, she tightens her grip on my hand. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"Oh, you should have." I open my eyes to find her smirking. "Just…not right now."

"No, of course." I agree. "I don't want to hurt you or the baby or anything."

"You can't hurt the baby, Eliza." She rolls her eyes. "I'm just not feeling too great today, is all."

"And that's fine." I nod. "We have all the time in the world to get close again."

"Mmhmm, we do." She leans in and presses her lips to my own. "I was wondering if you would stay the night again? I mean, you don't have to…but I feel better knowing you're here. It was nice to have your arms wrapped around me last night."

"Yeah, um…that was actually something I wanted to talk to you about." I sit up a little.

"You don't have to and it's no big deal, Eliza."

"I was thinking that I should come home." I rush my words out before I refuse to speak them. "You don't have to agree to it and you can ask me to leave right now, but seeing you this morning made me realize that I should be here with you. You know, taking care of you and getting you whatever you need."

"Really?" Her smile widens. "Y-You want to come home? F-For good?"

"If you'll have me, yes." I nod. "I can even take the guest room until you think we are okay again. I would totally understand you needing space."

"No." She shakes her head. "If you're home…you're home. I don't want separate room and separate lives."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I had thought about it yesterday but I didn't want you to feel pressured by me asking you." _I don't think I've ever felt pressured around this woman._ "It feels good to know that we both want the same thing, though."

"It does." I agree. "So, I'm coming home?" I raise an eyebrow.

"You're coming home." She smiles and her dimples pop. "Way overdue, but yes…you are definitely coming home to me. To us."

"Us?" I smirk.

"Our family." She shrugs as she shifts and settles between my legs. "This feels so weird."

"What does?" I press a kiss to the top of her head.

"All of this. You being here. Us being back together. The baby I'm carrying." A slight sigh falling from her lips, she rests her head back against my chest. "It feels weird, but it feels so good, too."

"Holding you feels the best." I breathe out. "The one thing I thought about every single day and night was how I used to hold you. How it used to make me feel."

"How did it make you feel?" She asks as my hands settle on her stomach. "How did it make you feel when you thought about it?"

"Like I was loved." My voice breaks. "Like I'd made the biggest mistake of my life the day I ever took my first drug." I release a deep breath and try to hold back my tears. "Like I'd never have you in my life again. Just…like I'd let you down."

"And now?"

"Now I feel exactly how I used to." I smile. "Like I belong in the life of the most incredible woman to ever walk this earth."

"You always did have a way with words." She glances up at me, her head turning as I capture her lips.

"And you always had a way of making me feel incredibly loved and wanted."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

One More Try: Chapter Nine

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

 _Three weeks later…_

I'm feeling good. For the first time in a fortnight, I actually feel good about myself and the morning sickness seems to be lessening. Although, I'm not entirely sure why they call it morning sickness since it happens whenever it wishes to. Ain't nothing 'morning' about throwing up my beautiful dinner Eliza cooked for me a few nights ago, that's for sure. Still, I'm feeling better and Eliza has been amazing with me. I'm struggling today, though. Not with my pregnancy, but with the way I'm feeling about my girlfriend. All morning I've thought about her touch. All morning I've thought about her hands roaming my body. We haven't slept together since she came home because I've been feeling anything but aroused, but today is different. Today I feel way too aroused and it's kinda embarrassing. I've found myself wandering through the corridors with an image of her in my head. Stripping me naked. Whispering all kinds of incredible things in my ear. Taking me against the nearest wall. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I'm not sure how much longer I can wait for her. I mean, I'd take care of myself, but I don't even want that. I just want her. _God, I'm a fucking mess._ A complete and total mess.

Shifting uncomfortably behind my desk, I release a deep breath and settle my hands in my lap. I need something to keep me busy and take my mind off of the urge I have, but I don't know what. I've just finished my last class of the day and right now I want to rip Eliza's clothes from her body. _God, I need her so bad right now._ Startled when my cell buzzes against my desk, I place my hand on my chest and pick it up. I'm so in another world right now that even the sound of my cell vibrating is enough to scare me half to death.

 ** _Hey, how are you feeling today? E x_**

A small smile curling on my lips when I read her concern on my screen, I feel a little more relaxed than I did a few seconds ago.

 ** _Okay. Just having other issues. Az x_**

 ** _Is everything okay? E x_**

 ** _Everything is fine, Eliza. Stop worrying about me so much. Az x_**

 ** _Hard not to when you are carrying our baby. E x_**

Setting my cell down in front of me, I rest my head back and release a deep breath. I can't believe how all of this has turned out, but I wouldn't want us to be any different right now. I wouldn't want anyone else on this journey with me. She is the hottest woman I've ever met, but how adorable she is just melts my heart time and time again.

 ** _You're too sweet. I'm good, I promise. Az x_**

Tapping my foot against the floor, my heels click and I'm kinda pissed that I'll one day have to ditch them for something more comfortable. My heels make me feel desired. They make me feel good about myself. I'm not sure anything will make me feel good, though, when I'm ready to burst. Heels will be the least of my concerns, I'm pretty sure about that. I can't say I ever imagined myself carrying a child, but I think it could be something beautiful if I just embrace it. I mean, I know I'm going to be fat and not overly pleasant to look at, but it will all be worth it in the end. It will be worth the happiness we will gain from all of this.

 ** _Are you busy right now? Az x_**

 ** _No, just in my office. E x_**

I think it's time I go and see my girlfriend. I mean, I won't allow anything to happen, but being around her may curb this craving I have. Seeing her may stop the unnecessary thoughts I have running through my mind. _If I could just touch her once…_ No, I have to stop thinking about sex. It's the only thing on my mind and I swear it's driving me freaking crazy. I feel like some kind of maniac and it's only making all of this so much worse. Grabbing my belongings, I shut off the light in my office and step out into the corridor. Fixing my skirt a little, I glance down my body and yeah, I'm looking pretty good. I feel a little bigger, but it's not noticeable. We haven't told anyone about our future yet, but it's only a matter of time before it gets out there. It's only a matter of time before people notice and begin asking questions.

Taking a right, a smile settles on my face at the thought of seeing Eliza any minute now. I know she loves it when I show up at her office, but I try not to do it all of the time. We are both professionals and I try to remember that. Heading up the few steps separating us, my heels click on the floor and I come to a stop outside her door.

"Yeah and I appreciate the invitation but I have a lot on tonight…" Eliza has her back to me. "I'm sure you will have a great night."

"Well, if you change your mind…you have my number." _Oh, she does, huh?_

"I won't, but thanks." Clearing my throat when I figure Eliza should probably know I'm here, she glances over her shoulder and gives me a full smile. "Hey…" Reaching her hand out to me, I take it in my own and she pulls me inside her office. "You okay?"

"Mmhmm." I nod, my eyes fixed on the woman inside my girlfriend's office. "Am I interrupting something?" I don't know Janine overly well, but I know of her. A busty blonde with a personality that doesn't match her looks at all. She's sweet and kinda quiet, but that doesn't mean I like her being here. Not with her boobs hanging out of her blouse, anyway.

"Not at all." Eliza wraps her arm around my waist and places a kiss below my ear. "Janine was just wondering if I was heading out with them tonight…"

"And are you?"

"Nope. Too busy." She smiles, throwing me a wink.

"You know, it's totally fine if you wanted to grab drinks with them. I have some work to get through, anyway."

"Not feeling it." She shrugs. "Maybe next time, okay?" She switches her gaze back to our colleague and Janine simply smiles and gives her a nod. Watching the blonde leave our space, Eliza closes her door and takes my hands in her own. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, just wanted to see you." She squeezes my hands a little tighter. "Stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?" She furrows her brow.

"All lovey and smiley." I roll my eyes. "I'm fine, Eliza."

"I know you are." Her lips press against mine and I'm suddenly super aroused. "But I wanted to kiss you so I knew for sure."

"Fuck." My voice barely above a whisper, my head drops and she instantly curls her fingers under my chin. "Eliza, don't."

"What's up?" She studies my face. "Something isn't right."

"N-No, everything is perfect." I rush out.

"You're lying…" She narrows her eyes. "I may have been gone for two years, but I know when something is wrong." Stepping closer to me, she wraps her arms around my waist and pulls me into her body. "Did I do something to upset you?"

"No." I give her a genuine smile. "You've been perfect."

"Then what is it?" She dips her head to meet my gaze. "Did you want to get out of here? Did you need to rest?"

"No, I just…" Blushing a little, Eliza recognizes this and furrows her brow. "I've been feeling a little, you know?" I narrow my eyes.

"No, I don't know."

"I just…I've been thinking about you all day." I sigh. "I feel like some kind of pervert, but I just couldn't stop thinking about you. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"You mean…" Motioning between us, she smiles. "Us?"

"Mm…" I chew on my bottom lip at the thought of having her hands on me.

"I'm so sorry." She cups my face and runs her thumb across my cheek. "I didn't know you felt that way…"

"You don't have anything to apologize for." I lean into her touch. "I guess my body just decided it was time to stop one thing…and start another." Shifting uncomfortably on my feet, I release a deep sigh.

"You mean you need me now?" She raises her eyebrow. "Here?"

"No." I shake my head. I may be desperate for her but I don't want our first time in two years to be in her office. I want it to be at home. Where she can make love to me. "But I just wanted you to know that I'm ready…"

"Then we should get home." She rushes away from me and shoves her laptop into her bag. "I mean, you must be tired."

"Mm, real tired," I smirk as she literally throws everything into her bag. "Are you tired?"

"Exhausted." She turns back to me and gives me one of her best smiles. _God, I've been waiting for this moment since forever._ Now that it's here, I'm nervous. Why am I nervous? Hell, she's taken me on the freaking dining table before today. And the kitchen counter. The shower. We've pretty much covered the entire house. "Come on…" Tugging my hand, she drags me out of her office and locks up for the day. _Okay, it's time to get back to us._

* * *

 _Thank god._ I've never been so happy to get home in my entire life. Every possible student or professor stopped us on our way off of campus and I swear, I thought I'd never make it out alive. It was touch and go once we finally reached the parking lot, but I managed to keep my hands to myself. I managed to stop the thoughts long enough to head home with my girlfriend and now that we're here, I don't even know how I feel. I know I want her, though. That I'm sure about. "Hey, so…" Eliza starts talking to me but I don't have time to talk right now. I just need her on me. In me. All fucking over me.

"Stop." I breathe against her lips. "Stop talking and do something, Eliza."

"Wow, okay." She chews on her lip. "I can't say I expected this from you." Guiding me further into our home, her fingers work the buttons on my blouse. My skin coming into view, her eyes darken and I'm pretty sure she is about to draw blood if she bites any harder. "Jesus Christ." Her eyes closing as my blouse slips from my shoulders, I take her hand and place it against my chest.

"Hey…" I smile as her eyes open. "You doing okay?"

"I just…I never thought I'd touch you again." Her voice breaking, I pull her in by the waistband of her form-fitting pants and her hand finds my hip. "This doesn't feel real."

"It is, Eliza." I press my lips to her own. "It's _very_ real." Guiding her towards the staircase, she backs up them slowly, her eyes never leaving mine. "I love you, okay?"

"God, I love you, too." Her chest already heaving, I didn't expect I'd have this effect on her anymore. Especially now since I'm pregnant. I have to take what I can get right now because one day soon…this will all stop. She won't want to touch me or get close to me, but I totally get that. "I didn't tell you how beautiful you looked today." Curling her fingers beneath my bra, she pulls me in close and crushes her lips into my own. _Her kisses are everything to me._ They always have been. It was the one thing that always told me how she truly felt. It was the one thing that always told me we were good.

"Gotta take this while I can." Kicking our bedroom door open, it bounces back from the wall and Eliza pulls me inside.

"You can have this whenever you want it, Arizona." She gives me a knowing look as my knees connect with the edge of our bed. "You know how much I love touching you."

"For now." I give her a sad smile.

"No." She shakes her head. "For always." My dimples popping when she tells me exactly what I need to hear, I find my body being pushed down against the mattress and Eliza slipping her own blouse from her shoulders. Dropping to her knees, she runs her hands up my thighs and my body craves her just that little bit more. "May I?" She curls her fingers beneath the waistband of my skirt. Giving her a nod, it glides over my thighs and drops to the floor. "Beautiful."

"I've missed this." I sit up on my elbows and she gives me a heartbreaking smile. "I've missed _you._ "

"You won't _ever_ have to miss me again." Running her hand up my stomach, it settles below my breasts and she flicks the clasp holding the material in place. "Mm…" She clears her throat. "I think these need to go, too." My panties disappearing from my body, her eyes close and I know her mind is in overdrive right now. Mine is, too. "God, I need to touch you."

Shifting back on the bed, Eliza stands and drops her own pants to the floor. Faced with the most incredible lingerie I've ever seen her in, she settles between my legs and drops soft kisses to my stomach. Her thumb brushing over my nipple, the sensation is overwhelming but I need this. "Oh god." My back arching as she repeats the movement, I'm beginning to enjoy being pregnant even more. Everything is so much more sensitive. "T-That, wow." Her touch sending my body into overdrive, she presses her lips to my own and rests her body partially on top of me. "Eliza, I need you…"

"Where?" She asks, a smile curling on her lips. "Where do you need me, Arizona?"

"Everywhere." I breathe out.

"Here?" Her fingertips trail down my neck and a low moan rumbles in my throat. "Or here?" Dipping her head, she rolls her tongue over my super sensitive nipple and my ass grinds into the bed. "No?" She smiles against my skin as the palm of her hand glides softly down my stomach. "How about here?" Caressing my inner thigh, I sink my teeth into my bottom lip and try to hold off on what I really want. This is our first time together in way too long and I don't want to ruin it for her. For us. "Oh, I know what you need…" She glances up at me, a single finger pressing against my clit. _Okay, wow._ I didn't expect that. I didn't expect to feel how I do. _Fuck!_

"E-Eliza…" I squeeze my thighs together.

"Too much?" She slows her movements. "Did I hurt you?"

"No." I smile. "Just…I'm crazy sensitive right now."

"So?" She raises her eyebrow. "Lie back and enjoy, beautiful." Adding another finger, she teases my entrance a little and I know I'm going to stop breathing the second she enters me. Our entire relationship will flash before my eyes and I'll be an absolute mess in her arms. "I've waited for this moment for so long…" She runs her lips along my jawline and I can feel my stomach already anticipating her next move. I can feel it tightening before she has even barely touched me. "Feeling you…making you feel good…just, loving you."

"Oh god." Her fingers gliding inside with ease, she feels so good. Everything about this moment feels way too good to even comprehend right now. "Shit…" My hand resting on my forehead, my mouth hangs open and I take it. I take her in completely. "Y-Yes…" Taking my hand in her own, she laces our fingers together and it feels just like it always did. It feels like she never left my life. Not even for a second. I've dreamt about this moment for so long, and now that it's here…I don't even know what to do with myself.

"You feel so good, Arizona." Smirking against my mouth, she takes my bottom lip between her teeth and tugs a little.

"Fuck, I-I." A tear slipping down my face, she kisses it away and buries her face in the crook of my neck. "Oh god, Eliza…I'm coming."

"Let me feel you…" She whispers against the side of my neck. "Let me take you back. Make you mine forever." Her words sending me over the edge, my body shakes and convulses beneath her. "Mm, just like that." Her eyes finding mine, she watches me come undone and I know she loves this. She has always loved watching me so why would now be any different? "You make me so happy, Arizona." Her forehead resting on my own, her nose brushes mine and her movements slow inside of me. Gently pulling out, she rolls her soaked fingers over my clit and I can feel another orgasm building.

"O-Oh fuck." My eyes slamming shut, her pace increases and I meet her every move. "O-Oh." Gasping when another orgasm courses through my body, my center is throbbing and I don't know the last time I felt this way. My body is hers and it always will be…and just like that, it's totally recognized her touch. Just like that…it couldn't hold on any longer. "Shit…" Gripping her wrist, I stop her movements and she studies my face. "Wow…"

"You okay?" Eliza asks, worry evident in her voice.

"Mm…" I try to steady my breathing. "I think sex may be my new favorite thing."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

One More Try: Chapter Ten

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

 _Five weeks later…_

 _Wow, she is looking more and more beautiful as the days pass._ Settled in my seat behind my desk, I tap my pen against the stack of papers I've been grading for the past hour or so but my mind is elsewhere. My mind is firmly on my girlfriend. Arizona is now sixteen weeks pregnant and everything about her is beginning to change. Everything about her seems different. I'm not complaining, but I feel like I should be better prepared for what is to come. I haven't picked up a book or read a single article on pregnancy and I know the time will come when I really need to know that stuff. I know the time will come when it's too late to know all of the information I feel I need to cram into my brain, so I need to start soon. I mean, what if she isn't feeling good and I just put it down to the pregnancy? What if it's something more than that and Arizona becomes ill, or the baby? I would never forgive myself if something happened to her or our beautiful bundle that is safely tucked away inside of her right now. I couldn't live with myself if anything happened and I could have prevented it by being better informed. _It's time to step up, Minnick._

Pulling up a web page, I type in 'what to expect when 16 weeks pregnant' and wait for it to load up. I know Arizona is feeling good right now, but it may not always be that way. Things may change and she doesn't do too well with her pregnancy. _Our_ pregnancy. I have to be fully prepared and now is as good a place to start as any. Smiling as I scroll through the page, I'm surprised to find that our baby is now the size of an avocado. _Weird comparison, but okay._ Oh great, now I have an image of an avocado in my head when I should be focusing on my unborn child. _Sounds amazing in my head._ Who'd have thought I'd be a mom. Who'd have thought I'd have an unborn child making an appearance in what? Five months. _Shit, five months!_ Is that really all it is? Okay, now I don't feel prepared at all.

Our baby is beginning to show more than he or she was a week or so ago, and I think people know that Arizona is pregnant. Nobody has made a comment about it yet, but I can see how they look at my girlfriend for just that little bit longer than usual. I can see the wheels turning in their heads. It's definitely almost time to tell everyone our news, but Arizona is worried that she will curse all of this once the words fall from her mouth. Her mom is supposed to be visiting in the next few days, and I honestly don't know how she is going to react to all of this. She doesn't know what her daughter has been planning, and she doesn't know that I'm back and in her life. I asked Arizona not to give that piece of information during their calls and I feel like this should all be done face to face. If I'm here to stay, I have to take whatever her mom has to throw at me. I fully expect her to hit her roof when she sees me for the first time in over two years, but who can blame her? I mean, I left her daughter alone without a freaking word.

Shutting off my screen, I sit back in my seat and release a deep breath. Removing my glasses from my face, I set them down and rub my forehead. I can feel a headache coming on, but I don't have time for this. I don't have time to allow the stress I've been feeling to consume me. Arizona needs me and that is all I have to remember. It's all I can think about. _She is my world._ I'll be damned if I mess anything up for us. Startled when a loud knock on my door pulls me from my thoughts, I sit up in my seat and clear my throat. "Come in."

The door opening, a smile settles on my face when Arizona steps into my office. "Hi, beautiful." Closing the door, she moves further inside and motions for me to pull my seat out a little. Doing as she asks, she sits in my lap, side on, and wraps her arm around my shoulders. "How has your day been?"

"Good." I smile. "Yours?"

"Okay." She shrugs as her lips press against my own. "I need to get home and take this freaking skirt off, though."

"That's a shame." I give her a sad smile. "It looks incredible on you."

"Mm, I don't feel incredible in it." She wrinkles her nose. "Just feeling a little uncomfortable today."

"You have any more classes today?" I ask, my hand resting on her thigh.

"No." She sighs. "But I have a ton of work to get through."

"So, leave me your office key." I smile. "I'll pick it up when I'm leaving for the day and I'll have it finished for you."

"By who?" She laughs. "The freaking fairies…"

"By me." I roll my eyes playfully. "I'm almost done here so I don't have anything to bring home with me."

"That's sweet but you have enough of your own stuff to do." She rests her head on my shoulder. "Ugh, I want to nap."

"Go home, Arizona," I demand. "Take the afternoon to relax. Take a bath. Put on your sweats."

"That sounds like the best idea ever." She breathes out. "But could you do something for me?" She has a look on her face that I don't quite recognize, but I'm all ears right now. Anything she needs, I can totally do. "Could you drop by the drive-thru on the way home?"

"Sure, what did you want?" That works for me. If we don't have to prepare dinner, it gives me more time to relax with my girlfriend.

"I, uh…can you get me a large fries?" She asks. "And a banana shake?"

"Consider it done." Pressing my lips to her own, she smiles against my mouth and my hand settles on her bump. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Brushing her thumb across my cheek, my eyes close and it feels good to have her hands on my skin. It always does. "I'm headed home. You won't be too long, right?"

"Give me an hour." I check my watch. "I'll finish up here and then I'll be with you."

"Perfect." Getting to her feet, she fixes her skirt a little better and I can see that she is uncomfortable. "I'll see you at home." Pulling her purse up onto her shoulder, she heads for the door and steps out into the corridor.

 _God, that woman makes my heart beat perfectly…_

* * *

Pushing through our front door, my hands are pretty full and I turn to find Arizona shifting uncomfortably on her feet in the kitchen. _Um…_ Furrowing my brow as I drop the files I've brought home down onto a nearby table, she rushes towards me and takes her food order from my hands. "Oh, thank god."

"Uh, you're welcome," I reply as she disappears and drops down onto the couch. The fire is lit and she is huddled under a throw, but yeah…she looks freaking adorable right now. "Everything okay?" I shrug my blazer from my shoulders and kick my heels off.

"Mm…" She shoves a handful of fries into her mouth. "You got me two?"

"I did." I give her a nod in agreement. "And isn't it a good thing I did, huh?"

"Why?" She mumbles as she removes the lid from her shake.

"Well, you're clearly starved and for the record…I love you and I'll do anything for you, but I don't need to see your fries after your teeth have turned them to mush."

"Sorry." She gives me a sad smile and places her hand over her mouth. "Just…I thought you'd never make it home." My eyes widening and my mouth falling open, I watch my gorgeous and beautiful girlfriend scoop up her shake with her fries. "God, that's good." She shoves it into her mouth and I wrinkle my nose.

"Um…" Giving her a look of confusion, I simply watch as she devours the lot. "So, I'm just going to leave you alone to continue to be disgusting…"

"Ugh, try it." She scoops up more of her shake and holds out the banana covered fries. "It's so good."

"Oh, I think I'll pass." I hold up my hands. "But thanks for the offer." Giving her an awkward smile, she furrows her brow and looks at me like I've just been placed on earth in the last thirty seconds.

"What do you mean, no?"

"I mean…you look like you need that combination more than me." Pressing a kiss to her forehead, she moans in appreciation and I step back. "I'm changing, okay?"

"You won't be long, though?"

"I'll be back before you know it." Smiling, I head for the staircase and take them two at a time. I love this side of her, but I won't lie…the whole fries and shake thing is kinda disgusting. _I guess the cravings just kicked in._ Stripping my clothes from my body, I pull on an oversized hoodie and some yoga pants. Tonight is all about comfort and I knew that the moment Arizona stepped into my office earlier today. I'll take some time to just be with her and then I'll get to work on grading her papers.

 _How times have changed, huh?_ Two years ago, I was the student. I was the one who shouldn't have even been in her home. Now, though? Life somehow figured itself out and now we are having a baby. _Yeah, it's still crazy._ No matter how much I think about it, it will _always_ be crazy to me. Heading back down to the lower level of our home, Arizona is settled, slurping on the remainder of her banana snake. "You doing okay here?" I approach the couch and she holds out her hand to me.

"I missed you." She runs her thumb over the back of my hand.

"I'm here now…whatever you require, I can do." Smirking as she pulls me closer, I drop down to my knees beside her and she runs her fingers through my hair. She's in that needy kinda mood tonight but that's okay. The more needy, the better. "You feeling better than earlier?"

"Mm, just had to change and I felt a million dollars again." Rolling her eyes playfully, a slight laugh falls from my mouth and she studies my face. "Have I gotten fat?"

"Nope," I say with complete certainty. "You got even more beautiful and I didn't think that was even possible." Brushing a few stray hairs from her forehead, her eyes close momentarily and she releases the slightest of sighs. "Comfort is what is important, Arizona."

"I think people need to know soon." She sighs. "It won't make anything go wrong, will it?"

"No, baby." I rest my head on her shoulder. "It will help, though. I mean, if you aren't feeling so good, people should know the reason why. Then they can help you out if it's needed."

"Mm, I guess you're right." She agrees, reluctantly.

"Of course, I'm right." Resting my hand on her stomach, it's definitely beginning to take shape. _God, this is going to be amazing._ "Is the avocado feeling okay today?"

"Eh?" She looks at me with total confusion. "Avocado, what?"

"Our baby is the size of an avocado right now."

"It is." She smiles. "You did some research, huh?"

"I have to." I shrug. "I don't want to be one of those partners who is oblivious to what is going on around me. If I need to know stuff…then a little studying never did me any harm."

"Mm…" She narrows her eyes. "Does this mean I'm about to become Professor Robbins again?" My body responding to her words, I study her face and tug on my bottom lip.

"Did you want to be Professor Robbins again?" I counter. "I mean, _my_ Professor Robbins?"

"Oh, beautiful." She presses her lips to my own. "I'll always be your _anything._ " Smiling at her words, the palm of my hand caresses her bump and she settles back against the couch. "That feels good."

"Yeah?" I raise an eyebrow and she simply nods, her eyes closing. "You know, anything you need…just say the word, okay?"

"Anything?" She cracks one eye open and smirks. "Just…everything is still really sensitive, you know?"

"Mm, I do know." My hand trailing up and under her oversized tee, I smile when I discover she isn't wearing a bra. My thumb barely even brushing over her nipple, a gasp falls from her mouth and her back arches as she shifts further down the couch. "Feel good?" I raise an eyebrow. "I mean because you need this…right?"

"Y-Yeah." She attempts to talk but it's more of a moan. "Just makes me feel better…"

"Well, anything I can do to help." Giving her other breast a little attention, she takes her bottom lip between her teeth and the smile on her face is adorable _and_ hot. "I'd hate to see you suffer."

"You're too g-good to me." Her breath catching, she takes my hand and runs it down her stomach and past the waistband of her sweats. "Far too good…"

"It's my job to make you feel good, Arizona." My fingertips connecting with pure arousal, it takes everything I have within me to not climb on top of her right now and take her how I know she likes it. "Just relax, okay?"

"Mm…" Slowly rolling my fingertips over her swollen and sensitive clit, her head buries deeper into the cushion beneath her and the low moans she is releasing is like music to my ears. _God, I love how she moans for me._ "Oh god." She whispers as I run two fingers through her soaked folds.

Still on my knees beside her, she turns her head slightly and I capture her lips. No words are needed right now. So long as I know that she is feeling okay, she doesn't need to give me any words at all. Her hips meeting my every movement, her own fingers tug at her nipple and the view I'm receiving right now is making me crazy. _Fuck, she's something else._ "You look so beautiful when I've got you like this…" Leaning in, I press my lips to her own and pick up my pace a little. "When you let go and just feel good...it's so hot."

"E-Eliza…" Groaning as her orgasm approaches, I press my fingers against her clit a little harder and she forces her ass into the couch. "Oh god, yes." Gripping my wrist, my pace slows but Arizona's hips continue to meet my movements. "Fuck…" Slowing, her body shudders and shakes as a smile creeps onto my face.

"So beautiful…" I press a kiss below her ear, her hand now resting on her forehead and her eyes closed. "Everything about you is beautiful."

"God, everything just feels so much more intense right now." Releasing a deep breath, she steadies her breathing and I give her a moment to come down from her high. "Especially when you are involved."

"I'm going to assume that is a good thing?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Always a good thing." She gives me a dimpled smile. "Lie with me?" She suggests. Waiting until she shifts onto her side and settles comfortably, my own body comes to rest beside her and my hand settles on her hip. "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me for anything, Arizona."

"I feel like I do." She presses her lips to my own. "Just accept my thanks and leave it at that, okay?"

"Okay." Her eyes flickering shut every few seconds, I know she is tired. I can see it in those baby blues as they dull ever so slightly. Falling into a comfortable silence, she wraps her arm around my waist and settles her head against my chest. I may not know much about anything right now, but I know one thing is for sure…

 _This woman is pure perfection…_

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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One More Try: Chapter Eleven

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ARIZONA'S POV

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Oh god, I feel sick. I feel like I may actually throw up and it's nothing to do with my pregnancy. My mom has just called to tell me that she and dad are twenty minutes away and I'm not prepared at all. I'm not prepared for the fact that they're about to find out that they're going to be grandparents and I'm not prepared for the million and one questions I'm likely to receive. Eliza has been quiet since I told her mom was coming by and I don't blame her. She's still coming to terms with all of this and the last thing she needs is twenty questions from my parents. More so my father. He has never met Eliza and I know how he can be around potential girlfriend's so I can't even bring myself to think about how he is going to react to the fact that she is back. He had a lot to say about it when I told them both that she had left, but it isn't their business. I mean, they're my parents and they care about me…but I'm a grown woman and I can decide what is best for me. I can decide who I do and don't want in my life, and in my home.

Glancing over towards the couch where Eliza is sitting, she is chewing on her nails and my heart is breaking for her. I know she doesn't want to be here right now, but I kinda need her. I'd thought about giving her the opportunity to leave but what would that solve? How would that show my parents that she is here to stay? I don't need to show them that she's here for good, but it would still be nice to have her around for a little while at least. If it becomes too much, I wouldn't blame her for taking herself out of the situation. My mom and dad can be pretty full on when they want to be, but I'm hoping the news of our pregnancy will soften the blow a little. _I'm hoping, but I'm not hopeful._ Rounding the couch, I take a seat beside my girlfriend and she glances my way. "You okay?" I give her a sad smile.

"Mm, just waiting for the onslaught." She sighs, running her hands down her thighs. "They're going to rip me apart, Arizona."

"That's not going to happen, baby." Leaning in, I press a kiss below her ear and she releases a deep breath. "I've got your back, okay?"

"No, you don't need any stress in your life right now." She takes my hand in her own. "You're carrying our baby and I need you to never be stressed."

"I won't be." I give her a dimpled smile. "I'm good. _We're_ good."

"Oh god." The sound of a car pulling up the drive, I know her heart has just dropped into her stomach but she's okay. She's got this. We both have. "Are you sure I should be here? I'm just going to cause problems, Arizona."

"Stay here." I give her a knowing look. "If they don't like it, they can leave, okay?"

"No." She grips my wrist as I try to pull away. "Please, don't fall out with them. I'm not worth it."

"Nobody is falling out with anybody." Squeezing her hand, I stand and straighten myself out. I'm wearing an oversized shirt right now but I can see my bump so I know my mom is going to notice it before I've even had time to tell her. Gripping the door handle, I turn it and pull it open. "Hi, mom." Pulling her into a hug, my father follows behind her and gives me one of his signature smiles. "Dad." I smile.

"Hi, honey." He throws me a wink. "You look great."

"Thanks, Dad." Stepping aside so they can both come inside our home, Mom rushes straight into the kitchen and dad follows me into the living room.

"And who is this?" He motions towards Eliza and she stands, clearing her throat.

"This is Eliza." I smile. "Eliza, this is my father. Colonel Daniel Robbins." Her smile faltering when she senses that he's about to freak, I place my hand on his shoulder and he turns to face me. "It's okay, Dad. She's supposed to be here."

"Supposed to be here?" He raises his voice a little. "Over my dead body!"

"Dad, please." I give him a sad smile.

"No!" He holds up his hands. "I had to listen to you cry to your mother when _she_ walked out on you. I had to listen to my only daughter totally heartbroken and you just let her back in? You just let her come and go as she pleases? This isn't right, Zona."

"Daniel, what the hell is the ma-" My mom gasping, I roll my eyes and Eliza drops down into her seat. "Oh…"

"Mom, please…not you, too." Standing in between my parents, my mom's eyes are filled with unshed tears and I really don't need this right now. "Eliza is back and that is the end of this conversation."

"Arizona, honey…" My mom gives me a sad smile. "You can't do this." She shakes her head. "I'm sorry, but you can't."

"Can't do what?" I furrow my brow. "Take back the only woman I've ever truly loved? I can, and I have."

"Why are you doing this to yourself, sweetie?"

"I'm not doing _anything_ to myself, mom." I drop my gaze. "And I'd appreciate it if you could _both_ have some respect for her." Feeling a headache coming on, I move away from my parents and approach my girlfriend. "You okay?"

"Maybe I should head to the store." She gives me a sad smile. "Did you need anything?"

"Nope." She smiles. " _We_ don't need anything picking up so you have no reason to go."

"Arizona…" She turns away and lowers her tone. "I think maybe you need some time alone with them. You know, let this all sink in?"

"Arizona, if she wants to leave _again,_ then you should let her go." My father cuts in. "It's what she does best."

"Mr. Robbins." Eliza turns to face my dad, her voice breaking. "I appreciate that I have no business being here, and I really don't need either of you to remind me of that fact but Arizona and I are happy."

"Until you're not." He laughs. "My daughter deserves more than someone who is going to leave without any word. She deserves someone who can be here for her whatever time of day it is. No matter how terrible things may be…"

"I know that." She nods, her head dropping and her shoulders slumping. "Arizona has a lot to discuss with you but I don't think you want me here, so I'll go." Grabbing her jacket from the back of an empty chair, she turns to face me and presses a kiss below my ear. "I'll just drive around for a little while. Let you guys have some time alone."

"You don't need to leave." I take her hand in my own and press a kiss to her knuckles.

"I do." She throws me a wink. "Because it's almost three and you will want your fries and shake soon."

"God, I love you." I pull her in a little closer. "But I really don't want you to go."

"I know, but I think it's best." She brushes her thumb across my cheek. "Just call me if you need me, okay?"

"Okay." I give her a small nod and release her from my grip. Watching her walk away, something in her composure changes and I furrow my brow.

"Mr. Robbins, it was great to finally meet you." She shrugs her jacket on. "And Mrs. Robbins, it's been wonderful to see you again."

"She's running again, Barb."

"Daniel." She gives her husband a stern look. "Just stop!"

"I'm leaving because Arizona doesn't need any stress in her life right now. I will be back, and I'm never leaving again." She glances my way. "I understand that you have no reason to believe me, but I'm in this relationship with Arizona. Not her entire family." Heading for the door, she tugs it open and gives me a small smile. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Wrapping my arms around myself, my mom glances back at me and narrows her eyes. "What?" I ask, my voice a little harsh. I'm pissed at the both of them right now and I was really hoping that it wouldn't end like this.

"Are you sick?" My mom's voice holds a world of worry right now but that's just mom. She has always been a worrier. "Is it your heart? She said you don't need the stress…"

"No, mom." I take a seat. "I really didn't want to do this without Eliza but since you have _both_ pushed her away, I have no choice."

"What's going on, honey?" My mom returns to her usual self and drops down beside me. "Something is wrong…"

"Except it's not, mom." I wipe a stray tear from my jawline. "Nothing is wrong. For the first time in my life, everything is perfect. Everything is amazing."

"You think that because she is back, but it will turn sour again…just you wait and see."

"This isn't about Eliza's return." I laugh. "This is about the fact that I'm about to become a mom and if you would just give me five freaking minutes to explain myself, you would have known that _tiny_ piece of information when you walked through my door!" My own voice raised, my mom's mouth hangs open and she attempts to speak. "And I'm sure you're going to tell me that this is all a mistake and I can't do this, but I can. I'm thirty-four and I need this now, mom. I _want_ this now."

"You're pregnant?" Her voice breaks. "Daniel, our baby girl is pregnant."

"I heard, Barb." Glancing up at my father, he has the biggest smile on his face. "I heard…"

"W-When? I mean, how?" My mother stutters.

"Through a donor." I breathe out.

"Oh, Zona." She pulls me into a hug and squeezes me tight around the shoulders. "I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks, mom."

"Congratulations, Sweetheart." My dad moves closer to me and places his hand on my shoulder. "I'm proud of you."

"Thank you." Tears suddenly filling my eyes, my mom pulls back and furrows her brow. "Sorry." I sniffle.

"What do you need?" My dad asks. "Is there anything I can get you?"

"Just…Eliza." I breathe out.

"We've got you, honey." He shakes his head. "Let her get on with her life."

"This _is_ her life." I spit. "I don't expect you to understand, Dad. I really don't."

"Then why are you doing this to yourself?"

My mother holds up her hand and my father is silenced immediately. He knows when the hand makes an appearance his opinion no longer matters. Its always been that way. "Is Eliza happy about this, Zona?"

"So happy, Mom." My hand settling over my bump, I know I need her here with me. I don't care what they have to say about her, and I should never have let her leave before, but I need her…and I need her now.

"Daniel, take my cell from my purse and make yourself useful." She demands. "Call your daughter in law and have her come back here right now."

"She's not my daughter in law." He laughs.

"She's as good as…" My mom gives him a knowing look. "Now, if you don't get that poor girl back here _right now_ , you and I are going to fall out." Taking my mom's hand in my own, I give it a squeeze, followed by a thankful smile. "Move your ass, _Colonel._ " His head dropping on his shoulders, he disappears from sight and mom looks at me with that sympathetic happy look. _God, I hate that look._ "How long?"

"A little over sixteen weeks." I smile. "Eliza has been back around two months, though."

"She didn't know?"

"No, but when she found out...God, she was so happy, mom."

"Then that is all I need to know." She pats my thigh. "That is all that matters."

"She makes me happy…" I breathe out. "I know she left, but she had her reasons. Reasons which I've come to understand."

"You don't have to explain your private business to me, sweetie." She shakes her head. "Eliza is home. You are happy. I'm about to become a grandmother. I'd say things are working out just fine for all of us." Pressing a kiss to the top of my head, she stands and sighs. "God, this is a lot to take in."

"Mm, don't I know it." Soothing my bump a little, I know once Eliza returns I'll be okay. I don't need their opinion on this matter and I don't need them to get on board. It would be good if they could, though. I mean, I want our child to have grandparents around. If they're going to make it difficult for Eliza, though…it will be a completely different story. I hate to think of it that way, but it's true. She is my life and so is this baby. So long as we are happy, everyone else can go to hell. "Hey, mom." She turns back to face me. "Thank you…"

"I just want what is best for you, Zona." She gives me a genuine smile. "If you and Eliza are about to start a family, then I have nothing to worry about."

"She's here to stay, mom," I say with complete certainty. "I know she is."

Watching as my dad comes back into the room, he hands mom's cell over to her. "She is coming back." He clears his throat. "I hope you know what you're doing, Arizona." Dad gives me a knowing look and I simply nod. "I cannot watch you go through all of this again. I cannot wait for you to arrive home to us brokenhearted again."

"I won't." I stand and take his hand in my own. "Everything is okay, you have to trust me."

"I do trust you." He gives me a nod. "It's your girlfriend I don't trust."

"Please, don't." I give him a sad smile. "You don't even know her. Once you get to…you will see how amazing she is and how happy she makes me."

"It's going to take time." He takes a seat and drops his head into his hands. "This isn't just going to disappear when she walks through that door."

"It is," I state. "Because I need you and mom to be happy for me. You push her away and I'll never forgive you, dad." My voice breaking, he glances up at me and he knows I mean exactly what I say. He knows that if he ruins this for me…we are done. Over.

"As you wish." He replies. "As you wish."

God, I just need this to be okay. I understand that they are only trying to protect me, but Eliza isn't who I need protecting from. She has never been. She is my life…she is my world. Once dad realizes that he can get over himself and stop being the overprotective father he's always been. He means well, I get that…but it's time for me to do what I want. It's time for me to be with who I want. His opinion is exactly that.

 _An opinion._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

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One More Try: Chapter Twelve

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ELIZA'S POV

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This is about to go horribly wrong. I can feel it. Arizona's dad has just called me and demanded I go back home but I don't know why. I don't know why he would possibly want me there when he's just made it more than clear that he has no intention of allowing me back into his family. I mean, I don't know him and we've never met, but he doesn't need to know me to know that I hurt his daughter. He is the one who had to deal with the fallout. He's the one who had to comfort Arizona when I walked away…never to return. At least, I'm sure that's how he saw it. So, yeah…he has every right to hate me. _I_ still hate me for how I behaved. I was trying to move on from it, though. I was trying to just be the perfect girlfriend and do whatever Arizona needs. Her wellbeing and happiness is the most important thing right now so I don't want my being here to cause any problems for my girlfriend. She doesn't need it, and neither do I. We were doing good but I'm probably going to walk back into that house to find my bags packed and waiting for me at the door. _I hope she doesn't leave me because of them._ Fully expected, though, if she did.

Taking a right, I head down a street I haven't ventured to in a long time. Richmond. The street where Arizona almost lost her life. Tears pricking my eyes when I drive past the coffee shop that was involved in the explosion, it's hard to believe that over two years have passed and life is running as it should be. People are enjoying coffee and conversation like nothing ever happened, but life moves on, right? Life carries on and so do we. _That's what I was trying to do, anyway._ Crazy to think that since this place exploded, I lost Arizona _and_ my mom. My life hit rock bottom and I met someone else. Hell, I was engaged to someone else. But now…now I'm back at the place where my life truly happened. I'm back with Arizona and we are pregnant. God, it's still so much to take in.

Heading towards home, I release a deep breath as my stomach flips and my heart rate increases. I don't know what to expect at all and I hate feeling this way. I hate not knowing what people are thinking or feeling. What I do know, though…is that Arizona is the only one with an opinion that matters. I'd love for her parents to welcome me back into her life, but I have to prove myself and I understand that. I have to show them that she is all I want and need before they could ever begin to show any sort of kindness towards me. I get that, and I wouldn't expect anything different.

Arriving home, I pull up the drive and cut the engine. Our place is lit up and looking homely as always, but I know that isn't what I'm about to find behind the door. Sure, my girlfriend is there waiting for me, but her parents? No, they're cold and uncertain towards me. Understandable, but I wish it wasn't this way. I wish I'd never left her how I did. I wish for all kinds of differences were my past is concerned, but what's done is done. I have to accept the errors I've made and live with them. Climbing from the car, I lock it up and approach the steps that will take me to the porch. The door opening, I lift my head and find Daniel stepping outside, the door closing behind him. _O…kay. Here it comes._

"I don't know you." He stands in a position that doesn't allow me inside. I don't have anything to say to him, so I simply stare. _That's right, just stare you asshole._ "I don't _want_ to know you."

 _Wow, okay…_

"My daughter loves you for some reason and that is the only explanation as to why I've allowed you back inside this house."

"Sir, Mr. Robbins." I clear my throat. "With all due respect…this is my home, too."

"This hasn't been your home since you left my daughter alone." He states. "Two years." He shakes his head. "For two years, you left there wondering and worrying about you."

"Arizona and I have discussed all of our issues." I sigh. I mean, I understand that he wants to protect her, but my past and the things it entailed are none of his business and I'm not about to air them for the street to hear. "Does she want me here or have you called me back here to talk to me?" I ask, my eyes fixed firmly on the space between us.

"Oh, she foolishly wants you here." He laughs. "Sometimes I'll never understand why she does the things she does, but women are complex and I've learned to do as I'm told when necessary."

"Then I'm just going to head inside if that's okay." Attempting to step around him, he holds up his hand. _Oh, come on. I don't want to do this._ The guy freaks me out as it is.

"Why are you here?" He asks.

"Because you've just called me and asked me to come back." I furrow my brow.

"No, why are you back in Seattle?" He drops his hand and studies my face.

"Because I love your daughter and it was time to return to her." I square my shoulders and try to be less terrified. "Everything that needs to be said has been said, Sir."

"Not to me, it hasn't."

"Yeah, that's not going to happen." I give him a sad smile. "Arizona knows and understands my reasons for leaving and we have dealt with it. It doesn't need to be brought up again. It certainly isn't going to make any difference to anything."

"You are very sure of yourself, Miss Minnick." He gives me a knowing look. "Did she tell you she was pregnant so you would return?"

"No, not at all." I shake my head. "I'm not sure of anything other than the love I have for your daughter. Our unborn child, too. She didn't call. She didn't write. I simply turned up here in Seattle and it went from there."

"And you really believe that you can do this? Even when it gets tough?"

"Sir, I'm not incapable of facing life." I furrow my brow. "But when you lose both parents before the age of 22, it messes things up. It messes _everything_ up." I sigh. "I don't need you to like me and I don't need you to give me your blessing. I just need you to leave me alone so I can do everything and _be_ everything Arizona needs." Deciding that this conversation is over, I move around Arizona's father and turn the door handle. "Now, it's getting cold out here. Would you like to join us for coffee, or?"

Turning, he has a slight smile curling on the corner of his mouth but I can see that he's trying to be the protective dad a little longer. I get it, but I can only apologize so many times and right now, I have to get inside and hear the same thing from Barbara. We always did get on really well, but I guess I don't deserve that from her right now. _I will, however, take what I can get._ Moving further into our home, I head for the kitchen but I'm suddenly pulled into a hug that almost takes me off of my feet. "I'm so sorry, honey." Her grip tightening, my eyes find my girlfriend and she gives me a dimpled smile as she throws me a wink.

Pulling back, Barbara gives me a smile that mirrors Arizona's and I try to hold back my emotions. I didn't expect her to come around to the idea of me being back, but it seems she has and I'm pretty sure I have my girlfriend to thank for that. "Congratulations, Eliza." Releasing me from her grip, Arizona moves closer to me and takes my hand in her own.

"Hey…" I smile. "I didn't have time to go to the drive-thru."

"Don't worry." She presses a kiss below my ear. "Just wanted you back here."

"Sorry, I just figured you wanted to talk to your mom and dad and I didn't want to get in the way." Giving her a sad smile, she wraps her arm around my waist and my hand settles on her bump. "You both doing okay?"

"Perfect." She smiles. "Absolutely perfect."

"Good." I breathe out. "Why don't you go and relax with your mom and I'll fix us some coffee? Hot chocolate for you…"

"Mm, sounds amazing." She rests her head on my shoulder, a slight sigh falling from her gorgeous mouth. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

* * *

Wow, this evening has really kicked my ass. Barbara and Daniel are still here but I've taken myself away from their conversation so I can get some stuff done around the house. Laundry doesn't take care of itself and Arizona doesn't need to be worrying about when it will get done. Isn't that one of the reasons I'm here? To do this kind of stuff? I'm pretty sure it is, so I'm getting it done whilst I can. Once Arizona's parents leave for the evening, I want to be able to relax and snuggle with her. I spent last night finishing any work I had on so the weekend is truly ours this time around. _At least, I think it's ours._ I'm not sure of her parent's plans, but I'm sure we can work something out if they're planning to hang around a little longer. Folding some clothing, I move down the hallway and towards our bedroom. The house seems pretty quiet right now but I guess everyone is just taking in the days events. Our beautiful news, too.

It feels good to know that we have told someone, even if the outcome wasn't what I had originally expected. It kinda makes me want to tell the world now. That is on Arizona, though. She decides when our friends and family know about the gorgeous bundle she is carrying, not me. Pushing the bedroom door open, I'm startled when I find my girlfriend sitting on our bed, a smile on her face. "Why are you sitting alone in a dark room?" I furrow my brow.

"Because it felt nice." She sighs. "And I kinda have a small headache coming on…"

"Want me to get you something for it?" I set down the pile of folded clothes and move towards her. "Is there anything I can do?"

"No, I'm good." She closes her eyes and nods. "My parents just left so I should be feeling a little better soon."

"I'm sorry I caused all of that earlier…" Dropping down beside her, she turns to face me a little better and places her hand on my thigh.

"You didn't cause anything." She gives me a sad smile. "That was all on my father."

"He's right, though." I shrug. "And he was always going to react like that when he saw me."

"That doesn't mean his behavior or his words were acceptable, Eliza." I guess she is right, but I still feel like I fully deserved it. "How he spoke to you was totally wrong and I made sure he knew that."

"You didn't have to do that." I drop my gaze. "I deserve all of this. The uncertainty. The lack of trust."

"If I trust you and I know you are here to stay, then nobody else matters. Everyone else can keep their opinions to themselves, too." I know she is mad at how her parents reacted, but it's really no big deal. It's done. It's over. I'm here and so is she. "I don't want people to get involved in my life anymore, Eliza. I just want us to be happy."

"We are happy…" I brush her hair from her face. "Just because people have things to say about it, it doesn't mean we aren't happy."

"Are you happy, though?" She asks as she studies my face. "Are you truly happy here with me?"

"Right now…I'm probably happier than I was before I left."

"Yeah?" Her smile widens and my hand settles on her stomach. "You mean that?"

"I mean, I was heartstoppingly happy before everything got messed up and I left, but in this moment…being here with you? God, I'm so happy that I wonder if its even my life when I wake each morning." I place a kiss on her knuckles. "Seeing you looking so beautiful when you are sleeping next to me…I'm not sure I've ever felt so in love with you as I do right now."

"Wow…" Her voice breaks.

"You know, the past few mornings before you have woke…I've made it my mission to wake up early so I can just watch you for a little while."

"Y-You do?"

"Mmhmm…" I nod. "I just watch you. My hand safely on your bump."

"Oh god." She looks up as she breathes out, unshed tears in her eyes.

"Yesterday I watched you for an hour and you didn't even flinch. You just slept softly and soundly beside me and it was everything I could ever want to witness in my life." I shift closer to her and her hand squeezes my thigh. "You are everything to me, Arizona. This baby, too."

"God, I love you." She cries. Happy tears, of course. "I can't ever lose you again, Eliza."

"You won't." I pull her into my chest and my hand works her back gently. "Everything is working out exactly how it is supposed to…don't you think?"

"Yeah…" She agrees. "I just wish you had been here since the beginning of this process." _Yeah, I wish I was, too._ That is one of my biggest regrets in life. Not being here when she really needed me. It can't have been easy going through all of this alone. The uncertainty. The not knowing if it would work out or even happen for her.

"Me too, but I'll be here next time." I smile.

"N-Next time?" She furrows her brow.

"Yeah…I mean, we aren't just stopping at one, are we?" Her smile widening, she presses her lips to my own and my heart pounds in my ears. "Pregnancy looks amazing on you, so there is no way we're stopping at one."

"Mm, fine by me." She takes my bottom lip between her teeth. "I think pregnancy would look just as amazing on you, though, too." _Wow, I haven't ever even thought about that._ "Something to think about, maybe?"

"I don't need to think about it." My lips brush against hers as she pushes me down onto the bed, her legs now straddling my own. "You know I'd give you anything you wanted."

"How about for the time being…you lie back and I'll give you exactly what _you_ want?"

"How could I ever refuse an offer like that?" Her hands working the skin of my stomach, my shirt is removed in no time at all and I know that tonight is going to be about us and only us. Who doesn't like a little stress relief after a day of trying to fight for your woman?

 _I'm always open to this kind of plans…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

One More Try: Chapter Thirteen

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

God, I feel huge. I'm not sure I've ever felt so fat in my entire life. I've always generally had an average figure, but if this baby grows anymore, my ankles _will_ disappear. _Yeah, I'm feeling super unattractive right now._ Eliza is forever telling me that I'm beautiful and gorgeous and whatever other descriptive words she can think of, but I'm not feeling it. Everyone now knows that I'm pregnant, and if I get one more sympathetic look from my colleagues, I'm going to scream. It's just been a crazy few months and it's really beginning to take its toll on my body. I've just reached the six month mark and yeah…I'm feeling anything but enjoyment for my pregnancy. Eliza has been amazing, but I didn't expect anything less from her. She just seems to be a natural when it comes to making me feel better. She's going to be a natural when it comes to motherhood, too. She seems different. I mean, how she behaves and how she carries herself. Sometimes I forget that she is still only young, but she's made it perfectly clear that she's here for me and that she is here to stay.

I always believed her when she said she wouldn't run anymore, but she always let me down. This time feels different, though. It feels like the total truth. Maybe in the back of my mind, I always knew she would leave in the past. Maybe I just chose not to see it. I've never felt as settled as I do right now, though. I feel like everything happened how it was supposed to, and we are stronger than we've ever been. I'm sure once the time comes we will both be absolutely terrified about our future, but there is no way that woman is leaving me again. Even if I am fat and unable to get my heels on anymore. _God, I miss my heels._ My hands settling over my bump, a small smile creeps onto my mouth as I imagine our future. Our child running around and causing mayhem. I wouldn't want it to be any other way. Maybe I'll never wear heels again. I mean, is that even possible when you have a child running around the house?

Startled by a knocking on my door, I glance up and call for my guest to come in. Sitting forward in my seat and trying to look a little professional, I clear my throat when I find one of my new students standing in my doorway. "Can I help you, Miss Steed?"

"Sorry to bother you, Professor Robbins." She smiles as she closes the door. "I was wondering if your extra help classes were still on?"

 _Shit!_ "Oh, um…yeah." I totally forgot I was supposed to be taking an extra class today. Honestly, my body isn't keen on the idea. "Sorry…baby brain." I stand and clear my throat. "You ready to head down?"

"Sure, but it's totally fine if you don't feel up to it." Ana gives me a sad smile. "I'm the only one who showed up to the class anyway."

"Oh…" I furrow my brow. I don't know why I'm surprised but I'd hoped this year's students would give a little more. Clearly, I was wrong. "If you want to go over any of your work now, that's no problem."

"Professor Robbins…you really look like you want to head home." _Okay, stop with the fucking sympathy._ "Maybe another time?" God, I could use a bath right now, I won't lie.

"Miss Steed, my job is to ensure you have all of the tools you require for your upcoming exam." I study her face. "If you want my help, I'm here right now."

"Okay." She smiles. "I can work here if that would be easier for you?" _Ugh, that would be easier._

"Great." I give her a fake smile. "Take a seat." Spreading out a few papers in front of her, she watches my every move as she sits back in her seat. "Is there anything, in particular, you wanted to work on?"

"Honestly, no." She shrugs. "Whatever works for you."

"This isn't about what works for me." I take a seat on the edge of the desk, the effort to stand once I sit in a seat is too much right now. _I'm a lot bigger than I thought I'd be._

"Sorry, uh…page 34." She hazards a guess. "That was what we worked on today, right?"

"Thirty-six, but okay…" I narrow my eyes. "You _are_ paying attention in class, right?"

"Oh, yeah." She blushes. _Okay, what the hell is this about?_ "Just...never mind."

"Ana, what's going on?" I ask.

"Y-You know my name?" She smiles.

"Of course, I know your name." I furrow my brow. "I'm your professor."

"Right, yeah." She clears her throat. "I just didn't think you would notice me…"

"Notice you, how?" I stand, distancing myself a little.

"Just like…you know." She drops her gaze and shrugs.

"No, I don't know." I shake my head. "If you aren't here to learn, then you should leave. I have things to do."

"Everyone knows you get involved with students." _Wow, she actually just said that._ "I mean, I figured maybe I could take you to dinner." _Um…_

"Excuse me?" A slight scoff falling from my mouth, I head back to my desk and put as much space between us as possible. "I don't date students…"

"That's not true." She stands and grabs her rucksack. "But I get it."

"You get what?"

"I'm not your type." Her voice breaks. _This really isn't happening. It can't be._ "Sorry I bothered you."

"Ana, wait!" I stop her from leaving. She is clearly upset but this isn't right. "I'm sorry, but I don't date students. You shouldn't even be thinking about it."

"I know but I can't stop thinking about you." _Holy shit...it's like Eliza all over again._ The difference is, I was attracted to Eliza and I couldn't keep myself away from her. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"No more, okay?" I hold up my hands. "No more comments like that and no more showing up at my office. Class only, Miss Steed."

"Sure, yeah." She gives me a sad smile. "You really are very beautiful, Professor Robbins."

I don't even have anything to say to that. I can't exactly thank her for what she has just said. That would just be wrong. Watching her leave my office, I head straight for my belongings and figure it's time to leave. I already don't want to be here and that interaction has only made it even less desirable to hang around any longer than absolutely necessary. I need to get home to the only woman I'd ever risk my career for.

 _My Eliza…_

* * *

Pushing through our front door, I find the lower level of our home totally deserted. I don't know where my girlfriend is but I could certainly use a snuggle right now. She's had the day off today and I've barely heard from her, but she told me she would be home when I finished work for the day. "Eliza!"

"Up here." She yells from upstairs. Heading for the staircase, the smell of paint catches my attention and I furrow my brow. "Guest room!"

"On my way." I breathe out. "If my fatness allows me to move a little freaking quicker."

"You mean your beautifulness?" Reaching the top, I glance up and find my girlfriend staring back at me, her hands on her hips, giving me a knowing look.

"Why are you covered in paint?" I ask, moving closer to her. "I mean, clearly you've been painting, but why?"

"Someone's gotta do it." She shrugs. "Why pay someone when I'm here?" Wiping the sweat from her brow, I lean in and press a kiss to her lips. "Ugh, don't." She holds up her hands. "I stink."

"Uh, no you don't." I roll my eyes. "You smell perfect and I want to see your handy work." Guiding me inside, my breath catches when I find a crib set up already and our guest room freshly painted in neutral colors. We don't want to know the sex of our baby until he or she arrives and Eliza has done an amazing job. "Wow."

"Does it look okay?" She wrinkles her nose. "I mean, I can change it up if you don't like it."

"I love it." Resting my head back on her shoulder, her arms wrap around me from behind and she presses a kiss below my ear. "Incredible." I breathe out. "Absolutely perfect, Eliza."

"I ordered the crib." She replies. "It was a surprise. I just…I didn't want you to have to worry about anything as the time gets nearer."

"That's sweet." I glance up and turn my head a little.

"The only thing you should have to think about is our baby." The palm of her hand caressing my bump, she freezes in her spot when I feel movement inside of me. _Wow, okay._ I've only felt this once before and Eliza wasn't around to experience it. It was overwhelming last time, and this time is no different. "Arizona, was that what I think it was?"

"Mmhmm." I smile, her hand still firmly on our bump. "I think that was our baby saying hey to mommy."

"W-Wow…" Her voice breaking, I lace our fingers together and it happens again. "Stay still." She whispers. "That feels amazing."

"It does…" I agree, my head once again resting on her shoulder. "All of this feels amazing with you, Eliza." I'm not sure I've ever felt so in love. I mean, the past was amazing, but this? This is something else entirely. "I'm so happy I'm doing this with you."

"I wouldn't do it with anyone else." She admits. "This. All of what is to come?" I give her a nod. "It terrifies me. Beyond belief."

"Me too, baby."

"But I know I'm ready, Arizona." She presses a kiss to the side of my head. "So ready for this journey with you."

"I know you are." I try to reassure her. "I've known it from the moment you walked through our door and said you wanted this that you were ready. Maybe even more ready than I was."

"You think?" I turn in her arms and give her a soft smile. "What gave you that impression?"

"I don't know." I wrap my arms around her waist. "I could just see it. Feel it. In your every move. Your every word. Your eyes…"

"It feels so good to hear you say that." Guiding me over to a rocking chair she has bought for us, she sits down in it and I rest in her lap. "I still worry that you don't trust that I'm in this. That I'm totally here."

"I know you are." I brush my thumb across her cheek. "I don't know why, but I think I trust you more now than I ever did."

"Yeah?" Her smile widens.

"Yes." I press my lips to her own. "Because this isn't just about us anymore. This is about the child we are going to have and the undeniable amount of love we have for each other. Regardless of what's happened in the past."

"God, I love you." Her eyes close and a tear slips down her face. "So much, Arizona."

"I love you, too." Resting my head against the side of her own, she releases a slight sigh and rocks us both back and forth. "Okay, if you keep doing that, I'm going to fall asleep."

"Fine by me." She breathes out. "I could use a nap."

"Me too, but there is something you should know." Sitting up, I face her fully so I can gauge her reaction to my run in I had with a student earlier. "A student came by my office before I left."

"So?" She furrows her brow.

"I totally forgot I had put an extra class on and she came by to see if it was still going ahead…"

"You do seem a little forgetful lately." She smiles, her fingertips toying with my own.

"Yeah." I smile. "Just…she didn't want help with extra work. She wanted to take me to dinner."

"Why?" Eliza asks, incredulously.

"Why do you think?" I raise an eyebrow. "She wanted to date me…"

"O-Oh." My girlfriend's eyes widen. "Shit."

"Yeah, shit." I sigh. "Apparently I'm known for dating my students."

"Well, it is common knowledge around campus that I was your student." She gives me a sad smile. "But it doesn't make what she did right."

"Agreed, but what should I do?" I ask, worry evident in my voice. "I don't have time for this sort of stuff, Eliza. I can barely make it through my classes some days and I don't need the headache of a student watching me all day to go with it, too."

"Maybe you should go to the Dean?" She suggests. "I mean, it may get her into trouble, but what if it escalates?"

"Exactly." I close my eyes and breathe through my indecisiveness. "I don't want to jeopardize her education but I don't want it to get worse."

"So, maybe you need to give it a little time. You know, see if she says anymore to you?"

"Y-Yeah." I nod. "Maybe she was just having a moment of some kind?"

"Maybe, beautiful...but don't stress yourself out with this." She pulls me in closer. "I don't want anything happening to either of you." I love how protective she is of us both. It makes my heart melt. "Arizona…I need you to both be okay."

"We are." I give her a dimpled smile. "All three of us are just perfect, okay?"

"And it has to stay that way." She gives me a knowing look. "Who is it?"

"You don't need to know that." I shake my head.

"If someone is asking my girlfriend, the mother of my child out to dinner…I think I need to know."

"No, you don't." I curl my fingers under her chin. "I need _you_ to be okay, too. I don't want you to do anything stupid, so you don't need to know which student it is."

"Just be careful, Arizona."

"I'll monitor it. I'll keep my distance. If anything changes, I'll go straight to Pritchard and tell him what is going on." She narrows her eyes. "I promise, Eliza."

"Okay." She gives me a nod in agreement and taps my thigh. "Up you get."

"Why?"

"Because you and I are going to enjoy taking a bath together before we settle down for the evening." She smiles. "You need to relax and I won't say no to joining you."

"You sure you can fit in the tub with me?" I scoff. "I'm slowly becoming the size of a house."

"Get your beautiful ass up right now…" The seriousness of her tone telling me that we aren't having this conversation again, I slowly stand and my feet are throbbing again.

"Ugh, I think some time in the tub will do me the world of good." I groan as I head for the door. "Whatever my figure is right now…"

"Hey!" She yells as I leave the room. Turning back to face her, I furrow my brow. "Don't _ever_ talk about my girlfriend like that again. I'll kick your ass if you do." Smacking my ass as she follows me out of the room, I throw her a smirk over my shoulder and I know that tonight is going to be the first relaxation I've had all day.

 _Eliza can relax me like nobody else in this world…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

One More Try: Chapter Fourteen

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ELIZA'S POV

* * *

 _Absolutely incredible._ It's all I've got to describe my girlfriend right now. I've been awake for almost an hour but I simply cannot pull myself away from our warm and comfortable bed. Everything is always so much more comfortable and soft when Arizona is around. _Everything._ I confessed a week or so ago that I watch her at any given opportunity and it's only encouraged me to do it more often. I've spent so long dreaming about her ever taking me back and I find it hard to believe every morning when I wake beside her. Sure, it's been four months plus since we got back together, but it still doesn't feel real most days. I mean, once that haze lifts each morning, I feel good about us, but the early hours when I wake are the worst. I watch her and imagine my life without her. It usually results in me crying silently beside her, but it's my own way of dealing with the past. It's my own way of working through my guilt without laying it all out for my girlfriend to hear. Honestly, I wouldn't put that burden on her, but I know she has my back if I need her. I know she is willing to listen and just love me when I'm feeling terrible about my actions. I try not to think about the time we spent apart but I've missed so much. I missed the final stages of her recovery after the explosion and that is one of my biggest regrets.

She was doing so well before I left her and I can't help but wonder if I may have slowed her progress down. She hasn't ever mentioned it to me, but I do wonder how well she did in the months that followed my departure. I often lay awake thinking about her. Too often to even think about now. I wondered how her hearing was. If it had any lasting effects. I wondered if her bruising and scarring were at a minimal and how she was feeling in her own physical self. All of those questions went unanswered for two years, but I feel like I'm ready to know them. I feel like I'm ready to hear about how I tore her world apart without any thought for the beautiful woman beside me.

Turned slightly on her side and with her back to me, Arizona's breathing is completely steady and she looks so peaceful. She has that slight smile that is always curled on her lips before she wakes. Kinda like she is dreaming of better times. Less hurtful times. I know she still thinks about how I left her, but I don't blame her. I'm just thankful to be here and allowed this chance to start over with her. With our baby. Our family. She's asked me to stop apologizing and I try not to, but it's not as easy as that. If I feel bad for a moment, my natural reaction is to apologize. Myself, as a human being, hates to see people hurting. I've caused her enough pain and suffering to last a lifetime, but for some reason…I'm here. In our bed. Sleeping beside her. Feeling her heart beating against my own. I'll never know what I did to deserve her or to call her my own, but there is no way I'm letting my worries get the better of me. She says she loves me and she wants this with me, and that is exactly what is going to happen. She is my world. They both are. _I have to focus on that._

Grazing the back of her neck with my fingertips, goosebumps follow my movements and Arizona stirs a little. Not much, but enough for her body to shift and now be facing me a little better. Her bump settling between us, my hand instantly drops and relaxes on her naked skin. _So beautiful._ My eyes closing, I feel a little movement and I can't help but think that it's our baby saying good morning to me. I mean, what else could it be? It feels too amazing to feel like a simple movement so yeah, I'm going with my first theory. Baby wants to wake up, and I'm here ready and waiting. Smoothing my hand over the silk skin beneath it, Arizona releases a low moan and shifts again. Now on her back, her knee connects with my thigh and I take my bottom lip between my teeth when the realization hits me. _Fuck, she's opened her legs._

No, this isn't appropriate. Closing my eyes, I try to breathe through my arousal but it's no use. She is literally in nothing but her panties and my center is throbbing for her. Trying to focus on the original task, I sit up on my elbow and place my head in the palm of my hand. It's Sunday morning so we don't have to leave our bedroom if we don't wish to, and right now…I have no plans to do so, even without consulting my girlfriend. Pulling my hand back when my own wants become a little too much, a groan falls from her mouth and I furrow my brow.

"You cannot touch me like that and not expect me to be wet for you, Eliza." _O…kay._ Not what I expected but I'm not complaining. "Do something." She takes my hand from between us and places it on her inner thigh. "Before I do it myself." _Okay, she shouldn't say things like that to me._ Now all I can think about is my girlfriend touching herself while I watch. _Nope, not happening._ If she needs a little relief, I'll be the one to do it for her. Guiding me to where she wants me, her eyes are still closed and my breath catches when my fingertips push her panties to one side and are met with wet heat. "Mm, just like that." Her dimples pop and I'm sure I've just fallen in love with her all over again.

"You are awake, right?" I study her profile and furrow my brow. "Because this is all kinds of wrong if you're not."

"F-Fuck." Her breath catches when my fingers press against her swollen clit. "I'm definitely awake now." Squirming as I roll my fingertips over the engorged bud, her fingers instantly finds her own nipple and my mouth decides to take care of the other. "Eliza, fuck."

"Tell me what you need, baby?" Rolling my tongue over her nipple, I take it between my teeth and she hisses in pleasure. "Tell me where you want me…"

"Inside." She forces her ass into the mattress. "God, I need you inside right now."

"How many?" I smirk against her gorgeous full breast. The longer this pregnancy has gone on, the more Arizona has wanted sex at the most random times of the day. Not only that, she has become much more vocal in what she wants. "Just two?" I slip two fingers inside of her with ease and her back arches. "Maybe another?" Taking her bottom lip between her teeth, she smirks and gives me a nod. Adding a third finger, her head buries deeper into her pillow and I'm totally lost in the visual she is providing me with right now. "Mm, perfect."

"God, you fill me so good." She says, breathlessly. Her walls are squeezing me like never before and I'm not sure she is going to hold on much longer. "Fuck, right there." Her hand dipping between her legs, she moves in rhythm with me and forces me that little bit deeper. "Oh god, yes." Her moans now spilling from her mouth in a cry, I'm soaked just watching her. Something about a pregnant and aroused Arizona has me feeling all kinds of ways, and it only makes me want this pregnancy to never end.

"You wanna come, beautiful?" I trail my lips across her chest and up her neck. "For me?"

"So much." She whispers. "But it just feels so fucking good."

"Yeah?" I ask, a smirk on my mouth. "You like being fucked like this, huh?"

"I love any way you fuck me." Capturing my lips, I curl my fingers inside of her and her breath catches. "Mm…" Is all she can give me as I pound into her, the sound of her soaked sex the only noise above the birds greeting the sunrise. "Don't stop." She pulls back and releases a frantic breath. "Fuck, don't stop." Her hips meeting my every movement, the intensity right now is overwhelming. I know I make Arizona crazy in the bedroom, but her waking up and needing me like this feels so good. "Fuck, I'm coming." Her hand gripping my own, her nails dig into my skin and she thrusts me harder one last time. Shuddering and shaking in the bed beside me, I can't help but watch on in pure delight. _I'm so living for these moments._

"Breathe, baby." Her hips slowly moving, drawing out the last of her orgasm, I press a kiss to her jawline and she grips the back of my neck.

"Don't. Ever. Leave. Us." She tries to steady her breathing. My forehead resting against her own, a tear slips down my cheek but Arizona is too lost in the moment to care. _Thank God._ I'm tired of crying, but this is happy tears so I guess it's okay. "P-Promise me…"

"I'm never leaving you," I whisper. "Forever, Arizona. You and our baby are my forever."

* * *

Rounding the kitchen island, Arizona is fixing us up some pancakes but I cannot take my eyes off of her. My hands, either. She just looks so fucking beautiful today and I feel lost. Like, I don't know what to do with myself. Wrapping my arms around her waist, her head falls back on my shoulder and my hands settle on our baby, safely tucked away from this untrustworthy world. "I love you." I press a kiss below her ear. "Both of you."

"We love you, too." She turns her head a little and captures my lips. "More than you could ever know."

"You look incredible today." I smile against her ear. "Hard to believe that you're mine."

"I've always been yours." Her hands rest on my own and our baby kicks. "See, baby agrees."

"That's so adorable." I sigh against her neck. "I can't believe I almost lost you, Arizona. Both of you."

"But you didn't." She lowers the heat on the stove and turns in my arms. "We are all here…where we should be."

"I know." I drop my gaze and my fingertips ghost over her collarbone. "I know."

"Look at me." She whispers as she curls her fingers under my chin. "Our baby is going to be so loved, Eliza."

"Oh, I don't doubt that." I smile. "Hard not to be when someone so beautiful is going to bring her into the world."

"Her?" My girlfriend narrows her eyes.

"Just…a feeling I have." I shrug. "Sorry, I know you don't want to be influenced or whatever it was you said. It's just a feeling."

"So, you want a girl?" She raises her eyebrow.

"I don't care what we have so long as you are both safe and healthy. I won't rest until I know you are okay, Arizona."

"I'll be fine." She presses a kiss to my lips. "I have you with me, right?"

"Every step of the way," I say with complete certainty. "Every step."

"Then there is nothing for either of us to worry about." Brushing her thumb across my cheek, she leans in and places another chaste kiss on my lips before turning back to our breakfast. My arms still wrapped around her, she leans into my body and it feels so good to be here with her like this. Everything just feels so damn perfect. "Breakfast is ready…"

Releasing Arizona from my grip, she sets out a stack of pancakes followed by bacon and freshly prepared fruit. "Looks amazing…" I give her a genuine smile. "But you shouldn't be standing and doing all the hard work."

"But I wanted to cook for you." She shrugs. "I can't do much else without bump getting in the way, so?"

"Thank you, it's beautiful." Helping her up onto her stool, I feel like now is the right time to talk to her about the past two years. Sure, I may come out of it feeling worse, but at least I'll know how she truly felt. "Can we talk?" I ask as she shoves a fork full of fruit into her mouth.

"Mm…" She nods, swallowing hard. "Is everything okay?"

"Tell me about the past two years…"

"Eliza." She sighs, shaking her head. "There is no reason for me to do that. What we have right now is strong. That's all that matters."

"Please?" I give her a pleading look and she studies my face. "Just…please?"

"What do you want to know?" She asks, reluctantly.

"H-How were you?" I clear my throat. "When I left?"

"Void." Her eyes glaze over and it breaks my heart. "I felt nothing for anything or anyone."

"Me too." I take a bite from the pancakes I've piled onto my plate.

"I just…I retreated. Inside myself. Inside our home."

"It wasn't my home. Not anymore." I shake my head.

"Eliza, this was always your home." She reaches out a hand and takes my own. "I always hoped you'd come back. I just…I hoped."

"I hate how I treated you." I drop my gaze. "I know we are good now, and I know I said I didn't regret what I did, but I do," I admit. "These past few months with you have been incredible and I wish I'd done things differently."

"But you didn't and at the time, you did what you thought was best." She squeezes my hand. "Even though I was hurting, I understand now."

"I don't." I scoff. "I'm really struggling now with what I did to you. There was no excuse. It shouldn't have happened."

"Please don't be so hard on yourself." Arizona gives me a sad smile. "Everything is okay now. More than okay."

"I know.". A smile curls on the side of my mouth. "And that just makes me love you even more." Lacing our fingers together, I drop a light kiss on her knuckles and her eyes close. "I do love you, Arizona…so much."

"I know you do."

"And I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you." I clear my throat. "Both of you."

"You've already made it up to me." She climbs down from her stool and turns me. Settling between my legs, my hands find her bump and it feels just as good as it always does. "You came home, and that is good enough for me."

"All that time spent lying awake thinking about you…" My hands cup her face and she listens intently. "...I could have been here with you. I could have been in your arms, completely in love."

"I never stopped loving you." She turns her head a little and presses her lips against the palm of my hand. "All I thought about was you. Every minute of every day, Eliza."

"Oh god." Pulling her against me, I bury my head in the crook of her neck as my shoulders shake. The tears falling hard and fast, I'm not sure I can ever truly make it up to her. No matter what I do to make things better, that thought will always be at the back of my mind. The hurt. The pain I caused. How I left her. "You deserve the world, Arizona. You deserve everything…"

"Hey." She pulls out of our embrace and brushes her thumb across my bottom lip. "I have the world right here…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

One More Try: Chapter Fifteen

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

 _Seven months…_

This day has totally kicked my ass. Not only have I had back to back classes because of exams we have coming up, but I've just sat through a meeting I could have swapped for a nap. Eliza has been incredible with my work timetable and at times has taken over for me, but we are both run off our feet right now and it isn't as simple as just ending the day early and going home. My students need me. Eliza's, too. Thankfully, the day is about to end, but I'm not sure I can even make it to my car, let alone home. I'd call my girlfriend and ask her to come back to collect me but she is just as tired as I am. Sure, she doesn't have the added weight of a tiny human inside of her, but she's worked her ass off this week and she deserves to rest just like everyone else. I'm not sure I've ever seen her looking so tired if I'm being honest. _She needs a break._ I know she can manage and I know she would tell me if she needed to take a day to herself, but I worry about her. Isn't that what I'm supposed to do? Worry? Regardless of how I feel about myself, Eliza is still my number one priority.

Turning the light out in my office, I double check I have everything I need for the rest of the day and head out into the corridor. Locking up, I head for the exit of the University and try to keep my eyes open just a little while longer. I don't feel too good right now but I know it's just tiredness. I know it's just my body telling me that it's had enough. _God, I could really use a little help right now._ Lifting the stack of papers under my arm a little better, Rachel rounds the corner and I've never been so happy to see another person before. My head feeling a little light, I give her a small smile. "H-Hey." My words more of a sigh, Rachel furrows her brow and approaches me a little quicker.

"Everything okay, Arizona?" She closes the distance between us and takes the papers from me. "You look a little pale." She studies my face and I know she is worrying. She is worrying for nothing, though. "And you shouldn't be carrying all of these papers."

"Just tired." My eyes flicker closed and she links her arm with my own. "Rachel I'm okay."

"Let's get you sat down for a minute, okay?" I appreciate her concern but I'll be okay once I get home and rest a little. It's just been a super long day. I'm good. "You really don't look too great right now."

"I just want to go home." I sigh, a slight throbbing behind my eyes alerting me to the fact I'm about to be joined by a headache. "Eliza is waiting for me."

"I'll call her." She takes her cell from her pocket. Guiding me to a seat near to the entrance of the main building, I drop down and I really don't feel good right now. "Should I have her come pick you up?" I can hear Rachel talking to me but it's not registering in my brain. Nothing is registering and I feel a little nauseous. "Arizona?"

"Mm…" I glance up at her, my hand resting on the bump that is growing by the day. "Eliza, yeah." I nod. "C-Call her, thanks."

"I think maybe you need to go to the hospital." My colleague suggests. "I can drive you, it's no problem."

"No, I just need to sleep." I rest my head back and close my eyes. That feeling of being underwater hits me and everything turns black. _Wow, I feel dreadful._

* * *

"Arizona?" The sound of my girlfriend pulling me from the void I've just experienced, my eyes flicker open and I find complete worry settled on her face. "You're awake." She smiles. "You look destroyed."

"Um, yeah." I furrow my brow. "Should I not be awake?"

"You passed out." She gives me a sad smile. Glancing around, I find myself no longer on campus and instead, I'm at the hospital. I remember being put into Rachel's car but I must have blacked out after that. "You scared me." She runs her thumb over the back of my knuckles. "You should have been at home. I've told you to take half days if you aren't feeling okay. It's a good thing Rachel was there to help you out."

"I'm sorry." Giving her a sad smile, she squeezes my hand and I glance down at our baby tucked safely away. "Everything is okay?"

"Kinda." Eliza sighs. "No more work for you, though."

"I don't understand." Panic evident in my voice, I sit up a little better. "What do you mean kinda?"

"As of right now…you are done. Until our baby is here and you are both okay, I don't want to see you anywhere near the university."

"My students need me, Eliza." I breathe out. "I can't just stop working. They have important grades coming up. I have to be there."

"Doctors orders." She shrugs. "Your blood pressure was through the roof." She gives me a knowing look. "I asked you if you were doing too much and you told me you were okay."

"I was. I was fine…until, well." I glance down my body that is being held captive by a hospital bed. I hate feeling like this. It worries me. I know I have to be honest if I'm not feeling good. We have to be on the same page. _I should have gone home at lunch when I didn't feel good._ "I didn't mean to worry you."

"Well, no more." She says with complete certainty. "It's time to take care of yourself, Arizona." Pressing a kiss to my knuckles, I lace our fingers together and give her my best smile. "I'm taking you home and you are resting. Until our baby is here, you are off your feet."

"Is this where the boredom sets in?" I whine. "I really don't like sitting around."

"I'm sure I can keep you occupied." Throwing me a wink, a smirk forms on my mouth. "Figured that would get your attention."

"How could it not?" I ask. "It's no secret that I need you _all_ the time."

"No, it's not." She blushes.

"Are you blushing Professor Minnick?" I dip my head and find her eyes. "That's not like you…"

"Okay, that's hot." She takes her bottom lip between her teeth. "But inappropriate right now."

"The inability to control yourself is what's inappropriate, beautiful." I motion for her to come a little closer. Standing, she leans over the rail of my bed and my lips brush her ear. "Bed rest could be _really_ fun."

"Yeah?" She turns her head a little, capturing my lips. "I don't want you taking care of yourself whilst I'm working, though."

"Hard not to when I'm thinking about you in your skirt and heels." Fisting my hand in her shirt, I run my tongue across her bottom lip. "Get me out of here, Eliza," I whisper against her mouth. "I'm wet for you."

"Fuck." Her eyes closing as I suck her bottom lip into my mouth, a low moan hits my ears and it sends a shiver down my spine and straight to my core. _God, I could touch her now given half the chance._ "You are incredible." She smiles against my mouth. "Incredible and so fucking hot." Pulling back, her eyes have darkened and her face is a little flushed. "I'll go check if everything is okay."

"Move your ass." My hand drops to where it really shouldn't right now. "You believe that I'm stressed and I _really_ need you to relieve that before it gets worse."

"Mm, I like your thinking." Throwing me a wink, she steps back from the bed and turns on her heel. Her amazing ass now the only thing I can focus on, I rest my head back and smile as she disappears out of sight. _My one and only._

* * *

God, it feels so good to be home. This day has been the longest ever but being home and safely locked away feels amazing right now. Eliza and her panic are over and now I'm ready to relax, just like the doctor suggested. Well, demanded. I know I have to take it easy, but I'm not the kind of person who sits around at any given opportunity. The days drag on. I fidget. I get agitated. Eliza is going to hate being around me, I know it. She thinks it's going to be fun and games, but it ain't going to be no walk in the park. I just hope she still loves me at the end of it. Times like this can really test couples and we are no different. _She is going to be out of her mind by the time our baby arrives._ Smirking to myself, I can see it now. I can visualize just how crazy I'm going to make my girlfriend. So far, everything has been sweet and adorable. Now though? Now that I have no choice but to sit around, I'll be moody. I'll whine more often. I know she loves me but I'm going to be an absolute nightmare.

"Did you want me to fix you a bath?" My girlfriend pulls me from my thoughts.

"No." I smile. "I just want to sit for five minutes before I rip your clothes from your body." Wrapping my arms around her waist, she smiles and leans in, pressing a kiss to my lips. The one thing I look forward to at the end of our working day is having Eliza's lips on my own. They just fit so perfectly. Kinda like our hands. They mold so beautifully that I sometimes wonder if this woman was actually made for me. _She totally was._

"You know, you really don't have to do that." Her hand resting on the side of my face, she runs her thumb across my cheek. "You are tired. You are barely even awake. Maybe you should quit while you're ahead."

"But I promised you a good time." I hate how she reads me so well. I hate how she knows me better than I know myself. "And a good time is what you will get."

"Arizona…" I give her a sad smile. "We have all the time in the world to roll around in bed together. You need to sleep."

"I'm not tired." I shrug. She can see right through me, though.

"That's a lie." Eliza laughs. "Just…relax. Take the rest of the evening to just settle down and catch up on some tv. I have a ton of work to get through if I'm going to take on yours, too."

"You don't have to do that." I shake my head. "I can do my own. I'm not totally out of action. Let's not be too dramatic, huh?"

"You aren't working." She states, no room for negotiation. "I'm not having another episode like today. It scared me."

"We're okay." I smile. "I just overdone it, is all."

"And that won't be happening again." She replies. "No work. No grading. No talk of the university." She gives me a knowing look and I attempt to whine but I'm silenced with her lips on my own. "Come on, time to relax."

"I thought you had work to do?" I narrow my eyes.

"I may or may not have taken tomorrow off." She shrugs as she grips my hand and pulls me towards the staircase. "Got to look after my girls."

"You're still convinced we're having a girl, huh?" I raise an eyebrow as she glances back at me. "I mean, if you want to find out, we can…"

"No, the surprise will be worth it." She smiles. "Unless you wanted to know?"

"I do, but I don't," I admit. I've been having this dilemma in my own head for a few weeks now. I keep swaying towards waiting, though. "Waiting is good, right?"

"If that is what you want then yes." We reach the top of the stairs and Eliza turns back to face me. "How are you feeling?"

"Better than I did earlier." I nod. "I just burned myself out, I think."

"I can't have you in that state again, Arizona." She drops her gaze and toys with my fingertips. Dropping to her knees, she lifts my blouse and presses a kiss to the skin of my stomach. My growing bump. "You have to look after your mommy when I'm not there, baby." Smiling at her interaction with our unborn child, it melts my heart. "I know you want to stay tucked away in there where it's safe, but if you two keep this up, you will be arriving sooner than we would like." Smoothing her palm over my skin, our baby kicks and my girlfriend's eyes close. "Yeah, you know what I'm saying." She smiles before placing another kiss to our baby's home. "I love you." Climbing to her feet, her hands settle on my hips and she leans in closer. "And I love you, too."

"I could watch you talk to our baby forever, Eliza…" A slight sigh falling from my mouth, my eyes close and I savor this moment. In the past, we've had some not so good times. In the past, we have fought and ultimately come back together. This time all feels different, though. Everything feels like it's fallen into place for the final time. Sometimes I forget that my girlfriend is only twenty-three, but god, she knows exactly what she is doing. She knows exactly how to make me happy. "I love you."

"How about we take that bath together?" She suggests. "You go and take five on our bed and I'll call you when it's ready?"

"Sounds perfect." I yawn. "You're too good to me sometimes."

"It's why I'm here." Giving me one final kiss, I head off into our bedroom and I feel the loss immediately. She may only be in a room across the hall but that is too much distance right now. I'm feeling needy tonight and yeah, I just want her skin on my own. I just want her next to me. Her hand in my own. Her lips on mine. Whispering those adorable words in my ear. This is all I want and need in life. Us, like this. Happy, yet uncertain about the future. I mean, Eliza has already made it clear that she plans to have more kids and I don't know how to feel about that. Sure, I'm more than happy to have more kids running around this place, but I want her to be certain about it. So long as I have her, everything will always be okay. Life will always be good. How can it not be when I have someone so beautiful and perfect in my life? We all have our downfalls but seeing those faults and sticking by someone only shows how much love you have for that person. I'd have been a fool to not let her back in when she came home. I'd have been a fool to even think about blowing her off. Eliza Minnick stole my heart the day I appeared at her apartment door with flowers. The things she said to me. How she made me feel. I'll never forget that feeling. I'll never forget that feeling of the inability to breathe because someone has just knocked you off of your feet. Yeah, I'd have been a fool to not do this with her. She's my life. I'm hers. There is no mistaking that. None whatsoever.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

One More Try: Chapter Sixteen

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

"Did you want your usual?" Pushing the cart around the store, Arizona walks close by, her bump really beginning to cause her issues. "I told you to stay home…"

"I'm okay, Eliza." She leans in and presses a kiss below my ear. "I feel good today."

"Really?" I raise an eyebrow. "Tell that to your back." It's Tuesday, and it's also my usual day off. I'd offered to work it to help with the work my girlfriend is no longer able to do but the university has it covered. _I'm kinda thankful, to be honest._ I want to be with Arizona whenever possible and taking extra work on at the university wouldn't allow for that. Time is creeping by and I feel as though I need to be here with her. I need to be the supportive girlfriend who is there for anything Arizona needs. It just makes sense to be here and doing whatever I can for her. "So, chips?"

"Mm…" She nods. "The spicy ones."

"They flare up your reflux." I give her a knowing look and she rolls her eyes. "They do."

"No, our baby flares up my reflux, Eliza. It's not the same thing. I want the spicy ones." Taking them off the shelf, she throws them in the cart and I decide to let her get on with her own decisions. Sometimes it's not worth the headache arguing with her. When she wants something, she generally gets it. "I love you…"

"Mm, you always say that when I give you what you want," I smirk. "Usually when it involves food."

"That's not true." She furrows her brow. "I always tell you I love you."

"You do." I agree. "Just…more so when you are eating the stuff you really want but know you shouldn't have."

"Sure." She waddles off in front of me and my smile widens. _God, she's so beautiful._ Something about a pregnant Arizona makes me want to spend my life in this phase. I don't want it to end. I mean, I do…but I don't want this version of her to end. She just looks so beautiful.

Turning down another aisle, she grabs a bottle of red and places it in the cart. "Um…" I switch my gaze back to my girlfriend who has a beaming smile on her face.

"It's for you." She smiles. "You deserve to relax with a glass, Eliza." I've been avoiding alcohol since we reunited. It's just one of my ways of supporting Arizona through her pregnancy. "I get my chips, and you get your wine. Winner."

"You wouldn't mind?" I wrinkle my nose as she wraps her arms around my waist. Her bump preventing us from truly holding each other. "It doesn't bother me…" That may be true, but I have missed relaxing with a glass of red at the end of a crazy day.

"Of course, I don't mind." She shrugs. "You've been amazing since I stopped working and I want you to just relax and enjoy this as much as I am."

"Oh, I _am_ enjoying it." I brush my thumb across her cheek as she leans into my touch. "I could watch you being gorgeous and pregnant forever."

"Thank god that isn't going to happen." She smiles. "This little one needs to move his or her ass soon."

"I know." Our eyes locked, nobody else in this store matters. Hell, nobody in the _world_ matters more than this woman in my arms. "Can you believe we will have a baby in our arms in what? Six weeks?"

"Oh, I can." She breathes out. "Hard not to believe it when I'm carrying said baby around right now."

"I'm so proud of you, Arizona." Leaning in, my lips press against her own and she smiles against my mouth. "So proud."

"Thank you." Another kiss on the lips and my girlfriend pulls back. "Let's finish up here so we can lock ourselves away, yeah?"

"Sounds perfect." Maneuvering the cart with my left hand, my right arm wraps around Arizona's waist and we head towards the last of what we need.

"Excuse me!" A stern voice pulls us both from our daze and we turn to find a woman standing behind us, glaring at Arizona's bump. "Does your husband know that you are kissing _women?_ " Furrowing my brow, I glance Arizona's way and her jaw is clenched as she pinches the bridge of her nose.

"Come again?" I look back at the unknown woman. "I-I think you've made a mistake." Surely this woman knows that Arizona and I are together. That my girlfriend isn't having some kind of affair.

"Disgusting." She scoffs. "Thinking you can do as you please. You people should keep it to yourselves. At home. Where nobody can see you."

"Us people?" I give her a look of total confusion.

"There are children in this store." She spits. "Children who don't need to be influenced by your disgusting behavior. It's not right."

"Okay…" Arizona snaps out of her thoughts and approaches the woman who is causing a scene. "I don't know who you think you are, but _us people_ are going about our business and _you_ should mind your own."

"You make it my business when you think it's appropriate to push your nasty behavior towards the general public. That poor child you are carrying will grow up to believe that what you are doing is okay. To believe it is right. You shouldn't be blessed with such a miracle." She shakes her head. "Shame on you for bringing a child into the world…into this." She gives us both a look of complete disgust but I'm so shocked by her words that I don't even have it in me to move, let alone speak right now.

"It is right." Arizona laughs. "Now…fuck off!" Turning, my girlfriend approaches me and motions for me to keep moving. My heart breaking at what I've just witnessed, is that really what people think of us? Aren't we entitled to being happy like everyone else? _Wow, that stings._

"D-Did, um…did you need anything else?" My voice breaking, Arizona glances my way and gives me a sad smile.

"No, come on." Heading for the cashier, I blink back tears and try to stop the burn from creeping up my face. Trying to clear my throat of any emotion, Arizona directs us to an empty lane. "Let's get out of here."

* * *

I'm angry. Angrier than I've ever been. How dare that fucking woman assume that she knows us. How dare she even have a say in our business. Our private lives. Arizona hasn't said much about it and honestly, she doesn't seem concerned. She doesn't seem at all phased by the venom in that woman's words. Me, I'm seething. I'm pissed. I know I shouldn't let people like her get to me, but she has. She has gotten to me and I'm not enjoying my evening at all. Not even slightly. Pulling on a hoodie, I take the stairs slowly and find my girlfriend lounging on the couch. She looks tired but it's that time of night. The time when her body is simply burned out and done for.

Closing the distance between us, I round the couch and find Arizona barely even awake. She is smiling at me, but her eyes are closing. "You wanna head to bed?"

"No, I'm comfortable here right now." Holding out her hand, she motions for me to come closer and I drop down to my knees on the floor beside her. "I missed you."

"Sorry, I was just taking a shower." Brushing her hair from her face, a low moan falls from her gorgeous lips. Usually, that kind of moan would get me into trouble, but sex isn't what either of us is thinking about right now. At least, it's far from _my_ mind this evening. "You feeling okay?"

"Mm." She nods. "Backache but other than that, I'm good."

"Is there anything I can get you?" I ask, my own thoughts waging war inside my head.

"No." She smiles. "Just being here is good enough." Studying her face, she furrows her brow and sits up a little. "What?"

"N-Nothing." I drop my gaze. "Just thinking, is all."

"About what?"

"That woman." I sigh. "Are you not offended by her?" Surely she is. How can anyone not be? To come into our business like that was unacceptable and I'm not happy about it at all.

"Oh, no." She laughs. "It isn't the first time it's happened."

"That doesn't make it right," I state. "What she said was nasty and unnecessary."

"She isn't the first, Eliza…" Arizona shifts a little. "…and she certainly won't be the last." Taking my hands in her own, she runs her thumb over my knuckles. "Don't let her get to you."

"She already has." I scoff. "I mean, who is she to even have an opinion? Fucking bitch."

"People like her cannot begin to understand." She shrugs. "They have their ideas and beliefs and that is the end of it." Giving me a sad smile, she pulls me up and I lean into her body. "We know what we have and that is all that matters…"

"Our baby…" My voice breaks. "Do you think us being who we are will affect them? Like she said…"

"No, beautiful." She tilts her head a little and her smile settles me some. "Our baby will be loved and so very happy…just like we are."

"Yeah?" I smile. "You think everything will be okay?"

"I mean, I cant say that everything will be perfect." She admits. "But when is life ever perfect for anyone?" She's right. Everyone is fighting a battle of some kind. It doesn't matter how healthy or wealthy you are…life kicks us all at one time or another. "We will be fine, okay?"

"Yeah…" I nod slowly. "I still don't know how you didn't rip her eyes out of her head, though."

"More important things going on in my life, Eliza…" Glancing at the bump between us, I give my girlfriend a nod in agreement. "I'm not supposed to stress, right?"

"Mm, and it finally seems to be catching on." I laugh. "God, you are so perfect. You know that, right?"

"Not perfect…" She disagrees. "I just have my priorities right."

"That you definitely do." Pressing a kiss to her lips, she moans into my mouth and pulls me in closer, her hand slipping up the back of my hoodie. "I love you," I whisper against her lips.

"I love you, too."

* * *

"You got everything you need?" I ask as I head for the front door.

"I think so." Arizona follows behind me slowly. Last night was quiet and now that I'm finished at the university for the afternoon, I came straight home and fixed us up some lunch. It's a gorgeous day outside, so I'm taking my girlfriend for a walk in the park. I hate her being stuck in the house all day and right now, some fresh air will do her good. "How was work?" Arizona asks as we step out onto the porch and lock up. "Busy?"

"Crazy busy." I glance back at her. "Nothing I cant handle, though."

"Is there anything I can do from home?" She perks up a little. I know she's bored, but this is just how it has to be. For my own sanity, this is how it has to be.

"No, I'm good." Taking her hand in my own, we head off down the street and fall into a steady pace. The sun is hitting my face and I have a gorgeous woman on my arm…and in my life. "Anything happen today?"

"Oh, all kinds." She rolls her eyes. "I haven't had a minutes peace."

"Okay, sarcasm never did suit you." Nudging her shoulder, she smirks and we fall into a comfortable silence. The park is only a few minutes from our place but I'm sure it feels like a lifetime away to Arizona. The added weight is really beginning to become a problem for her, and honestly, I'm not sure either of us expected her to be so big. Her frame hasn't changed and she hasn't really gained any weight, but her bump is pretty big now. So big that I'm waiting for the day when she falls flat on her face. That, or she bursts. One or the other.

Heading through the gates of the park, we take a left and follow the path that will take us around the outside of the grassed area. "I've missed coming here with you…" She rests her head on my shoulder. "This was our place before you left."

"It was." I agree. When Arizona was still recovering from her accident, she didn't like being in crowds. The park became our go-to place when she wanted to get out of the house for a little while. It's out of the way and generally not overly busy. It always calmed her. It calmed me too when mom died. _That feels like a lifetime ago._ I wish I'd allowed her to help me through it all. I wish I hadn't run. I know I've always said that I stand by my decision, but the more I'm around my girlfriend, the more I wish I'd never left. The more I wish I'd never even gone back home for mom's funeral. I know I shouldn't think that way, but if I hadn't gone home when I did, we never would have spent two years apart. We would never have spent even five minutes apart. "I loved coming here with you."

"Me too." She sighs. "I felt safe here…even when you left."

"You still came?" She lifts her head and gives me a nod. "Wow…"

"At least, for a little while but then I stopped." She admits. "It just kept me hanging on. I thought you would come home to me within a few weeks, but then that time passed and you didn't return. I just…I had to stop coming here. I had to let you go and being here prevented that."

"I'm sorry."

"No, I'm not saying this to get _another_ apology from you, Eliza." She stops us and turns to face me. "I'm just saying that it feels good to be back here with you because I thought I never would."

"We will make this our place again." Pressing my lips to her own, Arizona smiles against my mouth and gives me a slight nod. "With our baby, too."

"Sounds perfect." She whispers as I pull back to find her eyes closed. "Everything sounds perfect."

"Open your beautiful eyes…" I brush my thumb across her bottom lip. "I wanna see them." Doing as I ask, a smile settles on my mouth and my stomach flips. "Incredible…" Taking her hand in my own, I bring it up between us and press a kiss to the back of her hand. Resuming our walk, our fingers are laced together and her body is leaning into my own. "Our future is looking amazing right now…"

"I couldn't agree more." Her voice barely above a whisper, I catch sight of a familiar face heading towards us. I don't need this right now but I'm sure the woman in front of me isn't about to simply walk past and ignore us. _I wish._

"Great…" Watching as she slows her pace, her eyes land on Arizona's very noticeable bump and I tighten my grip on my girlfriend's hand.

"What's up?" Arizona glances up at me.

"Sam." I breathe out. "She's heading our way." My voice low, I'm glad Arizona can now put a name to a face. I haven't been in contact with or seen Sam since the morning after she arrived in Seattle. She knew she wasn't who I wanted, and I knew that she didn't want to hear from me. I mean, why would she? "H-Hi." I decide to strike up the conversation before she does.

"Eliza." My ex-fiancé gives me a half smile. "And you must be Arizona?"

"That would be me." My girlfriend holds out her hand and Sam takes it, giving it a firm shake. "Good to meet you."

"You guys have been busy, huh?" Sam motions towards our unborn child. "Kinda surprised."

"You are?" I furrow my brow.

"Yeah, I mean…I didn't think you were the motherly type." She shrugs. "No offense."

"None taken…I don't think." Pulling Arizona in a little closer, Sam studies our interaction and everything suddenly feels a little bit awkward. "We should go…" I throw my thumb over my shoulder.

"You didn't call me." She narrows her eyes a little. "Not once."

"I didn't have any reason to." I glance between my current girlfriend and my ex. "Was I supposed to?"

"I guess not." She shrugs. "Figured you may have, though…" Okay, am I missing something here? Why would I call her? The morning she left for her new place, she didn't look like she wanted to even be an acquaintance, let alone a friend. "Good luck, yeah?" She pulls me into a hug and lowers her voice. "I hope she knows what she is getting herself into." Giving my girlfriend a smile, Sam walks away and disappears out of sight.

"O…kay." Arizona furrows her brow. "What even just happened?"

"I've no idea." I give her a look of confusion. _What does that mean? Why would Sam say something like that to me?_ I'm not sure how to even take her tone. "You feeling okay to continue, or?"

"I'm feeling good." She smiles. "Come on…I've had enough run-ins with crazies this past couple of days."

"Oh, amen to that." Laughing, we head for a familiar bench and silence settles between us. I don't know what to make of the interaction Sam and I have just shared, but it's unsettled me. Was she implying that I couldn't do this? Was she implying that I'd leave Arizona and our baby at some point in the future? I mean, I know I messed up with breaking things off with Arizona and then getting too close to Sam but I didn't intentionally hurt her. I'm sure she doesn't see it the same way that I do, but in my heart, I always prayed that Arizona would take me back.

 _I was just lucky that she did…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

One More Try: Chapter Seventeen

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ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Something is wrong with Eliza. I know our run in at the store a few days ago upset her but this is something more. I'm sure of it. She seems closed off. Unsure about herself. I don't like seeing her this way, but I don't know how to do fix it. I don't know how to help her through this. I mean, I figured everything was good. I figured we were ready for anything. Have I totally misread her? Have I expected too much? _God, I hate this._ She's showering before she heads to work right now and I don't know if I want to get into anything before she leaves. I'll only spend the entire day thinking about it and that won't do me any good. Even I know that. _She will speak to me in her own time._

Concentrating on the crossword in front of me, I chew on my pen and try to push my worries to the back of my mind. I'm sure it's something and nothing and there is no use in me worrying. It won't achieve anything. It won't help me in any way. _Eliza is fine._ That's a lie. She's not fine. She hasn't been for a few days. _God, this is killing me inside_. What if she's having second thoughts. What if she's backing away from me as the arrival of our baby approaches. Maybe I did this all wrong. She's young. She doesn't need to be tied down with me and a child. Why would she want that? _I need to speak to her._ I'm scared, though. I'm scared that she will confirm my worries. I'm scared that she will leave. I shouldn't be thinking like this but it's happened before. On more than one occasion. It happened and it killed me. She knows that. _She should just leave if that's what she wants._ I survived last time and I'll survive again. _I need her, though._ Hell, I need her more now than I ever have.

I know I had it in my head that I was doing this alone but I really don't want to. I don't want to be a single mom. Sure, they are amazing and they thrive with their child, but I don't want that. I want my girlfriend with me. Holding me. Being a mom to our baby. _Because it is our baby._ She may not have been here throughout the entire process but it's her baby, too. The whole thing was done with her in mind so it will always be a part of her whether she is with me or not. I'll always talk about her and include her in the life of the child growing inside of me. I don't want to have to do that, though. I want her here and being a part of our lives.

The sound of footsteps upstairs pulling me from my thoughts, I clear my throat and wipe the tears that seem to have fallen. She doesn't need to see me like this. She has a busy day at work and I don't need to be a burden to her. I don't need to have her worried or questioning anything. _I just need to relax._ Her cell buzzing on the counter beside me, I glance to my right and my heart sinks into my stomach.

 ** _Are you coming to my place? I've taken a few hours from work. Sam x_**

This is happening. She's leaving me. I can feel it. I can sense it. Her presence appearing beside me, I glance up at her with tears in my eyes. "Everything okay?" She furrows her brow.

"Y-Yeah." I can't even bring myself to ask her. I can't call her out on it. The moment I do, we are over. The moment I bring this up is the moment our family disappears and I'm left alone. I'm not ready for that right now. I'm not ready to let her go again just yet. "You have everything you need for today?"

"Yeah." She yawns. "It's going to be one hell of a day."

"I'll bet." I switch my gaze back to the crossword in front of me. "What time are you due home?"

"Honestly, I've no idea yet. I'll know more once I'm on campus and I can let you know." Eliza sighs as she knocks back the coffee I prepared for her a little while ago. "Did you want me to cook dinner tonight?"

"Just…see how the day goes, yeah?" My voice breaking at the thought of her being in someone else's arms, I close my eyes and try to breathe through this. "I'll see you tonight."

"I love you." She presses a kiss to my head. "If you need anything, call me."

"I'll be okay alone." I glance up at her. I'm not sure if I'm telling her I'll be okay today or if I'm telling her it's okay to go. I really don't. "Enjoy your day."

"Arizona, is everything okay?" She looks a little worried but is that because she's been caught out?

"Everything is fine." I give her a sad smile.

"You've been crying."

"Just having one of those days." I lie as I glance down at my bump. _Our_ bump. "This little one doesn't care if it's supposed to be a good day or not."

"Now I don't want to leave…"

"You have to." I sigh. "I'll see you tonight." Squeezing her hand, she gives me a nod and grabs her bag, followed by her cell. "Call me if you get five to yourself."

"I promise I'll try." She nods. _Please don't say things you don't mean, Eliza._

* * *

I've been pacing the floor for the last twenty minutes. Eliza was due home at five thirty and it's almost six in the evening now. She called me a little while ago for all of five minutes and now I'm waiting. She's with her, I know she is. _Fuck, I wish I'd never seen that message._ I didn't intentionally look but it was right beside me. Her cell…that holds a world of secrets. At least, that's what I've been telling myself for ten minutes or so. I can't even bring myself to imagine what they are doing right now but I know I don't like it. I know none of this is good. I know that I'm only breaking my own heart by keeping this inside of me. I have to talk to her and I have to do it right now. Grabbing my cell from the coffee table, I bring up her contact information and hit the call button. As it rings out, her car pulls up the drive and my heart shatters. _This is it. This is the end for us._ My emotions are all over the place today and I know it's mainly down to the pregnancy, but I don't get a good feeling about this at all. She has clearly been contacting Sam and keeping it from me, so no…I don't have anything inside of me right now.

Ending the call, I unlock the door and wait for her to come inside. Heading back to the kitchen island, I grab a bottle of water and take a large sip. I need to get this out of my system and I don't need my words to fail me right now. The door opening, my girlfriend steps inside with bags under both arms. "Hey…" She smiles. "Sorry, I'm late."

"Are you?" I scoff as I approach the fireplace.

"Um…" Furrowing her brow, she kicks the door shut and moves further inside. "Is everything okay?"

"No, nothing is okay." I cry. "Just answer me one thing…"

"O...kay." Dropping the bags down, she leans back against the counter and stares intently.

"Have you been to her place?" Feeling the bile rise in my throat, I drop my gaze and close my eyes. "I need to know, Eliza."

"Who's place?" She asks, incredulously. "I've been working…"

"Who do you fucking think?" I spit. "Your ex-fiancé. You know, the woman you were willing to marry before I dragged you into this?" Pointing at my bump, Eliza's eyes fill with tears but I have to be honest with her. "I know I trapped you with this and I know you feel like you owe me something, but you don't. You really don't, Eliza."

"I-I…"

"If this isn't for you, I understand." My own emotions getting the better of me, my heart is breaking right now. "If you want to leave, it's okay."

"Excuse me?" Pushing off of the counter, she moves a little closer to me but I hold up my hands. "What the hell is going on, Arizona?"

"You tell me…"

"I can't because I'm completely lost right now." The confusion on her face evident, I turn away from her and place my head in my hands. "Arizona, you are really beginning to worry me now."

"Have you been with her?" My tone calm, she places her hand on the small of my back but I move away.

"Arizona, please don't do that." She cries. "Please don't back away from me."

"Why is she texting you, Eliza?"

"Who?" She asks. "Sam?"

"Don't play stupid." I scoff as I turn back to face her. "I saw the message…"

"I contacted _her_." She admits. "She said something to me the other day when we ran into her. I wanted to know what she meant by it."

"And all of a sudden you guys are meeting up?" I laugh. "Real cozy, huh?"

"I haven't met with her." She denies it but I'm not stupid. I've seen the message from her. Staring blankly at my supposed girlfriend, she closes the distance between us and takes my hands in her own. "I don't know what is going on inside your head right now, but you've got this all wrong, Arizona."

"It wouldn't be the first time you've left me." I shrug. "Why would now be any different? Third time lucky, huh?"

"Y-You didn't just say that to me." My words may be a little harsh, but something about all of this feels totally off. "I just…I can't believe you have just said that."

"What?" I laugh. "It's the truth."

"You know what, I'm not doing this with you." She drops my hands and backs away. "I thought we were good. I thought we were doing amazing." She drops her gaze. "Seems I was wrong."

"So, you're leaving?" I roll my eyes. "Got out of it easy enough."

"No, I'm taking a shower and giving you the opportunity to calm down." She backs away from me. "What you have just accused me of hurts, Arizona. So no…I'm not doing this right now."

"Whatever." I drop down onto the couch. "I'm sure you can think up some excuses in the shower."

"You know…I may have made mistakes in the past. Too many to even count…" Her voice is low and painful to listen to. "…but I have _never_ cheated on you. I have _never_ once thought about another woman in the time that we've been together. Both before _and_ now." Her words hitting me square in the chest, I glance up at her and find tears falling down her face. "You think that I'm leaving you?" She asks as she holds up her hands. "Wow…I don't even know what to say to that."

Disappearing from in front of me, she takes the staircase and the bathroom door slams shut. Maybe I was quick to judge her, but past experience has played on my mind all day. I shouldn't have said what I did, but she should have been honest with me from the moment she contacted Sam. I don't know why she wasn't but that doesn't change anything. Honesty is the one thing we have been working on since we got back together, and she has just totally disregarded that.

 _Damn it…_

* * *

Pulled from my thoughts when my girlfriend makes her way into the living room, I glance over my shoulder and find her moving around in the kitchen. I know she is mad at me, but I'm mad at myself too. I've thought about the things I said before and she didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve my attitude. I still want to know what the hell is going on, but I could have gone about it all differently. I shouldn't have accused her, and for that…I am sorry. I will apologize. Her leaving the situation was the right thing to do. If she hadn't, my mouth would have run away with me and I don't know where we would be in our relationship right now. "I'm sorry." I watch her move around as she unpacks the bags she brought home a little while ago. "Eliza?"

"Fine." She sighs. "I'm just going to fix you some dinner up and then I'm calling it a night."

"Can we talk?" I ask, my voice trembling. "Please?"

"I think you said enough for the both of us before." She turns to face me and her eyes are void. No emotion. No sadness. Nothing. "And you shouldn't stress yourself out so I don't want to talk."

"We have to." I furrow my brow. "We cannot just leave this and hope it goes away."

"You made it clear tonight that you don't trust me." She gives me a sad smile. "Even though you have spent the past eight months reassuring me that you do. That you want me here."

"I-I do want you here," I reply.

"I was late this evening because I was at the store." She states. "I was at the store getting a few things in that I know you like. That you want. I was at the store trying to make sure you have everything you could possibly need for the rest of the night and I walk in to accusations and one hell of an attitude."

"I shouldn't have said what I did." I drop my gaze. "I'm sorry."

"But you did say it, Arizona." She counters. "And some things can't be unsaid." I know I've totally messed up but I have to fix this before it all falls apart around us. "What do you want for dinner?"

"Nothing." I breathe out. "I had a late lunch, I'm okay." _I just want to talk to her. Make this right between us._

"Okay…then I'm heading off to bed." She rounds the counter. "Your chips and everything else you need is in its usual spot. Goodnight."

"Eliza, wait." I drag myself from the couch but she keeps on moving. "Eliza…" Gripping her wrist, she turns back to face me. "I'm sorry."

"I know, you've already said that." She shrugs my hand away. "You know where I am if you need anything." Watching her head up the stairs, her shoulders are shaking and I know I've upset her. _Of course, you have. You accused her of cheating._ Dropping my head between my shoulders, I glance around the lower level of our home and it feels cold. Uninviting. I don't want to sit alone down here…not when I should be wrapped up in Eliza's arms. Locking up for the night, I grab a bottle of water and slowly take the stairs. Right now, I need her to know that I'm sorry. Anything else can wait.

Pushing the bedroom door open, Eliza is climbing into bed and facing away from me. Tugging my yoga pants from my body, I strip down until I'm in nothing but my panties. Night sweats have become a regular occurrence for me, so it's useless wearing anything in bed. Climbing in beside her, my arm wraps around her waist and I pull her against me as best as I can. "Please don't hate me."

"I don't." She cries. "I'm just mad at you."

"I know, and I deserve that," I admit. "But please talk to me…"

"I don't know what you want me to say, Arizona." She sighs, her body relaxing a little. "You've made up your own mind so what's the point?"

"At least tell me why you contacted her?" I suggest. "Or why she sent you the message this morning?"

"I text her yesterday morning." She breathes out. "What she had said had kept me awake half of the night and I wanted to know why she had said it."

"Okay…"

"She said she would meet with me today but I told her I needed to speak to you first." She turns to face me. "Which I was planning to do last night."

"But you didn't…" I furrow my brow. "Why?"

"Because you were tired." She shrugs. "You'd had a crappy day and you looked like you needed to just rest. Me bringing up Sam wouldn't have helped your evening get any better so I figured I'd cook us dinner tonight and I'd discuss it with you then." Lying on her back, she stares at the ceiling. "I didn't get the chance to cancel anything with Sam so she just assumed we would be meeting today."

"Oh." I drop my gaze.

"Yeah, oh." She repeats my words. "I didn't expect to come home to this, Arizona. You accuse me and assume that I am leaving you."

"Everything just got messed up in my head."

"You are carrying our baby…" She cries. "I thought we were in this together."

"We are." I take her hand in my own. "I want you with me. I love you…"

"You don't say that stuff to the person you love." She closes her eyes, fresh tears falling. "You don't make someone feel like shit because you have a worry in your mind. If you'd have just asked me, I'd have told you. Just like I was planning to do."

"Please forgive me…" I hold her.

"I feel like you don't trust me." She shakes her head. "I feel like my past and what I've done to you will always be in the back of your mind."

"It won't."

"I cant be in a relationship like that, Arizona." She turns her head a little, her eyes finding mine. "I can't." _Fuck, I've messed this up big time._ "Do you just see disappointment when you look at me?" She asks. "Do you even see a future with me? honestly?"

"Of course, I do." I prop myself up on my elbow. "I see my entire life with you…"

"How?" She furrows her brow. "How do you see that when you have just stood in front of me and told me you would be okay alone? That if I wanted to leave, I could?"

"Nothing I say right now is going to be good enough, but I need you to know that I do trust you."

"Do you really believe that I think you've trapped me into this with you?" She asks. It's a perfectly reasonable question, but I wasn't thinking when I said it. "You told me you wanted this with me…but do you really?"

"You know I do." I give her a sad smile. "You know I want you…we both want you. We both need you."

"I'm just here to be what you need, aren't I?" She sits up, resting back against the headboard. "I mean, I can do that if you don't want to be alone. If you are scared of what is to come…but what are we, Arizona?" Her words are slowly killing me and I don't even know what to say to her. "Are we anything?"

"We are us," I whisper. "Just like we have been for eight months."

"Suddenly I don't feel like that anymore." Fresh tears fall down her face and I brush them away. "I think you need to think about this…"

"Think about what?" I give her a look of confusion.

"Us." She states. "Whether I'm really who you want."

"You are," I say with total certainty. "I don't need to think about it."

"Just…sleep on it, okay?" She gives me a knowing look. "I want nothing more than to live a happy life with you, Arizona. I want nothing more than to wake up beside you every morning, our baby too…but I need complete trust from you. You have to be sure." Turning out the light, she shifts down the bed and turns on her side and away from me. "Just…whatever you want." The room turning black, I can feel my world slowly joining it. It wasn't my intention to make her feel this way, but this one is totally on me. This…how our evening has gone, is totally my fault. I can see that complete hurt in her eyes when she looks at me. The disappointment. The Chaos.

 _I'm not sure I can repair this…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**

 **Do you want another chapter tonight?**


	18. Chapter 18

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

One More Try: Chapter Eighteen

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ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Waking earlier than my alarm, my head is pounding and my heart is aching. I didn't sleep too well last night but it's not surprising. Arizona said some hurtful things to me when I returned home from work and while I understand to some degree, I'm still not happy about it. I'm not happy about any of this. Last night, I saw her completely differently to how I've ever seen her before. She looks lifeless behind the eyes. She looked like she had nothing but hatred for me. For what she assumed I'd done, and for what I'd done in the past. I know I'm not perfect, and I've never claimed to be, but I thought we had moved forward. I thought we were in the best place we've ever been. Seems she's a good liar. Shifting in the bed a little, Arizona is sleeping soundly beside me but this all feels wrong. Everything we are right now feels like a lie, and wrong. Has she ever truly trusted me since I came back to Seattle? Has she been waiting for the day when I up and leave her again? I'd like to believe that she's loved and trusted me at some point, but I'm not sure she has. I'm not sure any of this is real anymore.

Turning on my side, I study her face and tears prick my eyes. I don't want to cry right now, but I don't know that we are anything anymore. _Maybe we never have been and this is all just wishful thinking._ That's certainly how this feels right now. Nothing more than hoping. Hoping for something that will never truly be good. How can it when she doesn't trust me? How can we be together when she thinks that I would cheat on her or leave her? _God, I hate this._ I hate everything that we are becoming. _Maybe she wants me to leave._ It's what I'm expecting when she wakes and has slept on it like I asked her to. I'm expecting her to realize that I'll never be good enough for her, even though I'm trying painfully hard to be her everything. Because I have…I've tried to make amends and love her more than ever before, and I do. I love her so much that the thought of her waking right now is heartbreaking. I don't want this to all end. I don't want us to be nothing. It's what I'm expecting, though.

My eyes trailing her beautiful profile, a small smile curls on my mouth. How could I have ever been the one to capture this woman's heart? How could I have ever been stupid enough to think that I would be her life? Her world. I'm fooling myself and I know that. I'll never be able to make her truly happy. Too much has happened between us and it's my own fault for ever thinking that this could work. I mean, I left her and returned two years later. Why would she trust me? Why would she ever truly give herself to me when she knows she could be hurt again at any moment? _Fucking stupid._ That's what I am. Pathetic. I don't deserve her and I don't deserve this life we share, but there is a baby in this now. It isn't as simple as just calling it quits and becoming friends. There is a tiny life appearing in some five weeks and I cannot bring myself to leave any of this. I've watched our baby growing inside of Arizona from the moment she told me she was pregnant so no, I cannot take myself out of this life right now. Unless it's what Arizona wants, I want to be apart of our child's life. _It feels like the baby belongs to me, but I guess really…he or she doesn't._ This is all Arizona. She planned it. She made it happen. She is carrying. I'm just a bystander craving this life with her. I'm nothing. _I never will be._

Wiping the tears from my jawline, I give myself a moment before I climb out of bed and begin my day. It's a little before 7 am and I don't even want to go to work. I want to take myself outside and sit thinking for the day. It's what I need to do. At least, that's how it feels right now. How can I face anyone at work when my life is a lie? How can I exchange pleasantries and conversation about our unborn child when I don't even feel like a part of this anymore? This is crazy and messed up but I have to push through. I have to keep going. Maybe it will be something beautiful in the end.

Pulling back the covers, Arizona's bump comes into full view and it's breaking my heart. Pressing the softest of kisses to the skin of her stomach, I pull back and lower my tone to barely a whisper. "I love you, baby." Climbing from our bed, I slip my robe over my shoulders and glance back one final time. "I love you both so much." Creeping out of the bedroom, I head down the hall and towards the bathroom. The door to the baby's room open slightly, I push it open more and take in the colors and furniture. _I loved being a part of this._ Having a say in the layout and everything else made me feel like I belonged. It made me feel like Arizona was sure of her decision to take me back. Now…I'm struggling to even be in this room. All I see is the lack of me putting our baby down to nap. The lack of me waking in the night to take care of him or her. The lack of me…period. _She's made it clear that she doesn't need me._

Stepping back, I close the door and head for the bathroom. I have an hour before I have to leave for work and I plan on spending it in the shower. I need the heat to soothe my skin. My body. I need the alone time and the quiet to think and to feel. What I want to feel, I don't know, but I need to feel something. Anything. I need to feel like I could still be in this because right now, I feel like a complete stranger in this house.

* * *

Grabbing my bag from beside my desk, I power down my computer and take my cell from my desk. I'm finishing up a little earlier than I'd originally planned to, but I'm taking what I can get right now. I need to be alone with my thoughts before I even think about heading home. Arizona has called me a few times but its never been the right time to talk and honestly, I don't want to discuss our relationship over the phone. Why would I? I may be an awful person, but I've learned to face such conversations head-on. Not via letter and not through a text message. I just need some more time. Time away from this. Time away from Arizona. Just…time alone. Heading out of my office, I head straight for the exit of the building and hope to god I don't run into anyone. I've managed to keep conversation to a minimum today and I plan on that continuing. I'm generally an approachable person, but today…I'm not. Today I'm in my own world with my own thoughts. Thoughts that aren't as pleasant as they usually are.

Crossing the street, I pull my bag up onto my shoulder a little better and I'm headed in one direction only. _The bar._ I need a strong drink and then I'll be on my way. Alex and I aren't as close as we used to be but I'm not going there to see him. I'm going there to relax and enjoy a drink alone. Surely I'm allowed that. Surely I'm allowed to just take five minutes to myself. The bar coming into view, I quicken my pace and my cell buzzes in the back pocket of my jeans. _I'll see to it when I'm sitting down with a drink._ I know it will be Arizona but it can wait two minutes more.

Pushing the heavy door open, Alex's eyes land on me immediately. Stepping up to the bar, he approaches me and stares intently. "Large scotch." I avoid eye contact.

"Shouldn't you be at home?"

"Pretty sure my dad died a few years ago, Alex." I roll my eyes. "I don't need another one, so I'll just take the drink."

"Why are you here?" He asks, his brow furrowed. "My best friend is at home and ready to drop a kid any day now and you are here drinking…"

"I'm having _one_ drink." I give him a knowing look. "Can I get that, or?"

"Whatever." Placing a glass down in front of me, he fills it up and slides it towards me. "It will all be over soon, Minnick. You've got this."

"Got what?" I furrow my brow.

"The baby thing. You'll be fine." He smiles.

"Why does everyone seem to think I'm incapable of raising a fucking kid?" Backing away, I head for a booth and slide inside. I don't need anyone cheering me on. I'm more than able to look after a child. I'm more than able to be a mom. Taking my cell from my pocket, it's Arizona.

 ** _Are you coming home tonight? Az x_**

 ** _Yeah. I'll be home soon. E x_**

 ** _I love you. Az x_**

"Hey!" Alex appears beside me and startles me from my conversation. "Change the damn attitude."

"Fuck off, Alex." Flipping the middle finger, he simply laughs and folds his arms over his chest. "Did you not hear me?"

"You may be pissed at Arizona but can you blame her?" He raises an eyebrow. "Can you honestly blame her for being mad at you?"

"I don't need you to remind me of the fuck up I am." I sit back in my seat. "I'm well aware of it. I wouldn't expect you to understand anyway. She's your friend. Me? I'm nothing to you. Just like I'm nothing to anyone else…Arizona included."

"What the hell happened?" He breathes out as he drops down beside me. "She called me earlier in a bad way but I couldn't quite make out what she was saying. Something about she had messed up and something about how you would leave. Did you threaten to leave?"

"What? No!" I give him an incredulous look. "She thinks I'm cheating on her and that I'm going to leave." I sigh.

"That's bullshit!" He scoffs. "Why would she think that?"

"Because I contacted my ex," I admit. "Not for the reasons she seems to think, though."

"Why the hell did you contact her?" He asks. "Are you stupid?"

"Because I wanted to discuss something with her. Something that has nothing to do with you." Dropping my gaze, Alex shakes his head. I don't expect him to understand but it's a miracle he is even sitting here with me right now. "She just…she went crazy. Told me I could leave and that she would be okay alone. That I think she trapped me into a kid and I don't want any of this with her."

"She doesn't mean it."

"How do you know?" I glance his way. "She still said it, Alex. I don't even know what the point of me being around is anymore. I mean, did she ever want me back?"

"Oh, I know she did." He nods. "You was all she thought about."

"But she's never going to trust me again. Not fully." I shake my head. "I get that, but how are we supposed to work that way? How am I supposed to make her happy if she's always suspicious of me?"

"She's not." He defends his best friend and I knock back my scotch. "She's scared. Terrified, even."

"Of what?"

"Everything that is about to happen." He smiles. "She wanted you back and now that you're here and about to have a kid together, she's a mess. Just…go home and talk to her, please?"

"Why are you so bothered?" I laugh. "You fucking hate me."

"I don't hate you…I just didn't like what you did to her." He shrugs. "There is a difference."

"I can't go home…" My voice breaks. "What if I get there and she tells me she doesn't want me? She's going to see that I'm not good enough for her soon so why not rip off the band-aid now? Make this easier for the both of us…"

"She does want you."

"It certainly didn't feel that way last night." I breathe out as I grab my bag and slip out of the booth. "I just don't know what to do about all of this."

"Talk to her." He gives me a knowing look. "She needs you, Eliza." Sure she does. Right now, that couldn't be further from the truth and I know it. "You know she loves you…"

"I thought she did." Turning, I head for the exit and step out onto the sidewalk. I have to go home at some point, and Alex is right…Arizona and I do need to talk. I don't know what to expect when I get there, but I'm preparing myself for the worst. Anything else will be a bonus right now.

* * *

Reaching home, my hands are clammy and my mouth is dry. I don't know how Arizona is feeling about last night but I have an awful feeling inside of me. I know she is going to continue to question me, but I've said all there is to say on the matter. Sam made me feel like I couldn't do this, and I wanted to know why. I wanted to know why my ex felt it appropriate to say that to me. I know it's probably just to get back at me for leading her on and then leaving her, but it was cruel. She knows how I am with my confidence and yeah…that comment totally knocked it. Sure, I shouldn't let her get to me, but that's just who I am. She knows it, too. She knows the effect that one simple comment would have had on me but I didn't want to get into it with my girlfriend. She has enough going on and I don't need to add to her stress. It wasn't necessary. She didn't need to know that I was feeling totally shit about myself.

Pushing the door open, our home is quiet and it feels kinda nice. The sun is shining through the back patio doors and it's spreading a warmth throughout and straight to me. _God, I wish I could enjoy this moment._ There is nothing better than returning from work to find my heavily pregnant girlfriend waiting for me with a smile on her face. There is nothing better in this entire world. I don't seem to have that right now, though. Arizona is nowhere to be seen and it's a little unsettling. I'm sure she is busy upstairs doing whatever she does when I'm not here, but I kinda hoped in some way that she would be waiting for me. I hoped…but it seems that's all I've been doing these past eight months. What's a little more hope crushed, huh?

Closing the door, my shoulders slump a little and I head for the kitchen island. Setting my cell down, I leave my purse on the dining table. Fresh coffee is waiting in the pot and I'm kinda thankful for that right now. I only had one drink at the bar and my body is craving my usual afternoon coffee fix. Hearing movement upstairs, Arizona takes them slowly and I watch her approach the lower level. "You're home already?"

"I took a half day." I clear my throat. "Went to the bar." I guess I should tell her that before she assumes I've been elsewhere. "Alex said you had called him…"

"Yeah…I did." She shifts uncomfortably on the other side of the room. "Are you okay?"

"Super," I say, sarcastically. "I didn't want to wake you this morning."

"I heard you leaving." She replies. "And we both love you, too." My heart swelling at her admission, a small smile curls on my mouth but it's barely noticeable. "You know that, right?"

"Honestly…" I breathe out. "I don't."

"Seriously?" She closes the distance between us. "You really think that I don't love you?"

"I mean, I thought you did…" I nod. "I thought everything was perfect."

"It was." Arizona's voice breaks. "And then I messed it all up." Moving closer, she holds out her hand and takes my own. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Eliza. I'm so sorry."

"It's made me question everything, Arizona." I have to be honest with her. What kind of relationship is this if I have to lie and pretend everything is okay? "I don't even know if you want me here…"

"I do…more than anything." She brings my hand up to her lips and places a kiss to my knuckles. "I freaked out and I shouldn't have. I should have waited and spoken to you about it."

"That was my plan all along." I sigh. "Imagine if I'd called you from work and told you I wanted to meet with Sam. Imagine how you'd have felt then, not knowing half of the details."

"I know." She nods. "I get that now."

"But do you?" I ask. "Do you understand that I was simply trying to protect you? That I didn't want you to worry or have this on your mind?"

"Yes, I understand why you did it." She agrees. "What did she say to you?"

"It doesn't matter what she said to me." I shake my head. "It's not important."

"It is…"

"It's not, Arizona. Her words don't matter now because you confirmed them without me ever having to discuss it with you. The things you said told me that Sam was right. I'm going to mess this up and you will hate me, so I don't know what you want me to do."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, do you want me to stay and play happy families with you or do you want me to leave and let you _finally_ get on with your life?" Resting back against the counter, my body shakes as my tears fall. Covering my face with my hands, I allow them to consume me. It's the only thing I know is real right now. My tears.

"N-No." She pulls my hands from my face. "I don't want you to _play_ anything with me. I want you and I want this with you."

"You thought I was cheating, Arizona." I scoff as I move away from her. "How am I supposed to just go on like nothing has happened when I know you thought that of me?"

"I just saw her name and it freaked me out."

"That doesn't give you the right to accuse me," I state. "You know I would never do that to you. Fucking hell, I didn't even sleep with Sam when we were together."

"I know." She cries. "I've messed up and I don't know how to fix this, Eliza."

"No, me neither." I give her a sad smile. "Can it even be fixed?"

"It has to be." She sobs. "I cannot live without you and this family we are about to become a part of."

"I think you can…" I say with certainty. "I think you can do and be anything you want to be." Closing the distance between us, my hand settles on our baby and her eyes find mine. "I love you more than anything in this world, but I don't think I can do this if you don't trust me."

"I do trust you…" She wipes tears from her jawline and I cannot bear to see her crying any longer. It's killing me inside. We should be happy and be preparing for the birth of our child. Not fighting and causing unnecessary tension. "I trust you with my life."

"Promise?" I speak, barely above a whisper. "Promise me that you won't do that again? Promise me that you are completely sure about me."

"I am." She whispers, her forehead resting against mine. "I'm not sure you will ever believe me, but I know you wouldn't ever do that to me. I know you are mine."

"I was born to love you, Arizona." My own voice breaks. "I know I haven't done anything in the past to show you that, but you and this baby are it for me. From the moment you told me, I knew I was all in. Just…trust me." My thumb brushes against her bottom lip. "Trust that I'd never do anything to hurt you again."

"I love you…" She presses her lips to my own. "And you won't mess this up." She kisses me again. "Whatever she said…she is wrong. I know you better than she does, and I know that you are the only person in this world I would want to do this with."

"Thank you." Her face nuzzling in the crook of my neck, my heart rate is steady and I know that I'm going to be okay. I know that we are going to be okay. So long as Arizona knows and believes that I would never do anything like what she has insinuated, I can sleep tonight with a clear mind.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

One More Try: Chapter Nineteen

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Things are better. I mean, we aren't perfect right now and I kind of expected that, but we are getting back to us. We are getting back on track and just enjoying this time we have before our baby's arrival. I won't lie, though. As the date approaches…I'm becoming more and more anxious. I'm scared. What if I don't do this right? What if something goes wrong? I don't know the first thing about giving birth and I just know I'm going to mess up somehow. _Is it possible to mess up?_ I'm not sure it is, but that's how I feel lately. I feel like no matter what I do, it won't be good enough for our baby. I really need this to run as smoothly as possible, and the more I allow it to swirl around my brain, the more I'm convinced that this is all going to go wrong. All I know is what I've picked up in classes. Sure, it all seemed great and it made sense at the time but now? Now I'm not sure I even remember how to breathe. I'm sure I'm overreacting, but my nerves have been kicking in for a couple of days now and I don't like feeling as though I'm not in control of the situation. Of my body, too.

"Arizona?" My girlfriend yells from the top of the staircase. "Can you come and check your hospital bag?"

"I have." I waddle through the living room and smile as I run my fingers through my hair. "Three times."

"Just…once more?" I can hear Eliza pleading with me. "It will take five minutes."

"Eliza, I really don't have the energy to take the stairs right now." Dropping down onto one of the bottom steps, I find her watching me and she furrows her brow. "Stop worrying. I'm fine."

"Why are you sitting down if you're fine?" She raises an eyebrow, her arms folded across her chest.

"Because I'm tired." I sigh. "I didn't sleep so well last night." Taking the stairs slowly, she drops down behind me and her legs rest either side of my body. "I think I need to nap."

"Okay." She leans down and presses a kiss to my head. "Want me to lie with you for a little while?" She asks. "I know you're ready for this to all be over, but it will be soon."

"I know." I glance up and smile as she presses her lips to my forehead. "Just two weeks to go, right?" _God, I hope it isn't any longer than that._ I'm not sure I can carry this weight around for much longer. In the last week, I feel like I've aged about ten years. Just…everything aches. "You think I'll ever wear my heels again?" I rest back against Eliza's chest and she giggles. "What?"

"Of course you will." She rolls her eyes playfully. "And you know I cannot wait for you to wear them."

"Pervert!" I laugh. "Do you think we will ever have sex again after this?"

"Mm, who's the pervert now?" I look up at her and she raises an eyebrow. "Of course we will have sex again after this." She smiles. "Why wouldn't we?"

"I don't know…" I shrug. "Babies require a lot of time and _all_ of our sleep." Yawning, sleep feels like an awesome idea right now. "And I need to get some of that right now."

"What?" She gives me a look of confusion. "Sex or sleep?"

"Mm, sleep." My eyes close. "Sorry, but sleep sounds way more appealing right now."

"Come on…" She smoothes her hand over my bump. "Let's get you up to bed for a few hours." Helping me up to my feet, I steady myself and sigh. I've had a few niggles during the past few days but nothing to cause any concern. Our baby is moving more and I guess its just my own worries that are making me panic a little. _What if we don't make it to the hospital in time?_ Of course, we will. It isn't going to come flying out of me in a matter of seconds. "You good?" Eliza asks as I turn to face her.

"Mm." I grip her arms. "Just feel a little woozy." Putting one foot in front of the other, something doesn't feel right. Something feels like it's moving. _Something is happening._ "I, uh…" Glancing down between us, my grip tightens on my girlfriend's arms and she furrows her brow.

"What?"

"I think…" Dampness pooling between my legs, I glance back up at Eliza. "I think my water just broke."

"I-It can't have." She shakes her head. "You aren't due for another two weeks." Keeling over, a sudden sharp pain takes my breath away. "Oh, fuck!" Eliza yelps. "Arizona?"

"G-Get, mm…get the bag," I ask, breathlessly. "Baby…"

"Arizona, I'm not leaving you." She gives me a look of worry. "What if something happens whilst I'm gone?"

"I'm okay." The pain subsides and I'm granted a little relief. "Just, do it quick." I nod. Moving me towards the couch, I bend at the hip and brace myself against the back of it. "Fuck." About to turn and head for the stairs, I grip Eliza's wrist and pull her back. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Her features no longer holding complete horror, her smile widens and she rushes off towards the bedroom. Rocking myself back and forth, the pain is coming back tenfold and it's taking everything I have within me not to cry right now. _Fuck, the pain wasn't so bad when I was blasted across the street._ "Okay, I've got it." Eliza rushes back to my side. "Talk to me, Arizona." The panic evident in her voice, I give her a small smile and her features soften some.

"Let's go." I pant. "Like, now…" Helping me to the door, our hospital bag is slung over her shoulder and I'm about to head out the door when I realize I need to change. "Wait!"

"I don't think our baby really wants to wait, Arizona." She furrows her brow.

"I need to change."

"You don't." She shakes her head. "You look beautiful, just like you always do."

"Eliza, my water broke." I deadpan. "Grab me some fresh pants." Dropping the bag to the floor, she pulls out a pair of yoga pants and helps me change. "Thank you." I give her a half smile. My body throbbing, I try to breathe through my contractions but it isn't as easy as the bitch at classes made it sound. _She's probably never even had a kid._ Closing my eyes, I inhale through my nose and I can hear Eliza copying me. Cracking one eye open, a smirk forms on my mouth when I find her standing in front of me with her eyes closed and breathing just like we were told to. She has her breathing exercises on point, I'll give her that. "You are so fucking adorable."

"Wha-"

"Fuckkkk." Almost falling forward on her, she snaps out of her breathing and pulls the door open. "Shit, fuck!"

"Okay, momma." She helps me out onto the porch. "You cursing doesn't have the same effect when we aren't in the bedroom." Guiding me to her car, she helps me inside and rushed to the trunk. Throwing the bag inside, she rounds the car and climbs inside, the engine firing up before she has even closed the door and belted up. "You've got this." She grips my hand as she pulls out of the drive. The hospital is only five minutes away but I'm not sure I have five minutes. I feel like my insides are being ripped from my body, with the help of a rusty knife.

"This is actually happening…" The realization hitting me, I release a deep breath and glance at my girlfriend, complete calm now on her face. In her beautiful eyes. "Are you ready for this, Eliza?"

"I've been ready for this since the day I walked back into your home." She smiles.

"Our home." I mirror her own. "With our baby."

"God, I love you…" Taking a right, the hospital comes into view and I suddenly feel a little more relaxed, even if our baby is gracing me with a world of pain right now.

 _I've got this. We both have…_

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

Wow. That's all I've got. I don't know what has happened during the past few hours but I know our lives have just changed dramatically. I know that there is never any going back with the woman of my absolute dreams. She is everything to me. Everything and more. Sure, my life feels a little crazier right now but isn't that how it's supposed to feel? The uncertainty. The not knowing. It leaves us open to all kinds of possibilities when you don't have everything completely planned out. Less than a year ago, I was engaged to a woman I didn't love whilst the only woman I've ever dreamt about was thousands of miles away and alone. I did that. Not Arizona. I'm the total cause of our separation but I'm here and the only way I'll be leaving either of my people is in a box.

This feeling. The feeling of having a tiny human relying on you is one I'm not sure has quite registered yet. Our baby is sleeping soundly, as is Arizona. I'm just watching. Staring on in complete amazement. She did that. She created such a beautiful thing. She nurtured and protected our baby and I can never thank her for that. How the hell could I? How could I ever begin to even put into words what this woman means to me? She's my life. My reason for breathing. Our baby, though… _she_ has brought a whole new meaning to my life. She is the hope I've always needed when I was struggling. I'm sure one or both of us will struggle in the future, but knowing we have a child who loves us and needs us will always be my come through. Nobody can ever take that from me. Sam's words have been playing over in my head and I know that they couldn't be further from the truth. I know that when I met with her last week, after talking it out with my girlfriend first, that what she said means nothing. How can it when I have a beautiful daughter sleeping just inches away from me? _She's my daughter…_

 ** _"You will only leave them both." Sam rolls her eyes as she sips her coffee. "You and I know that, Eliza."_**

 ** _"What the hell makes you think I'd ever leave?" I ask, incredulously._**

 ** _"Isn't it the only thing you know how to do?" She raises her eyebrow and I feel like she is reading me right now. "It's like your default setting."_**

 ** _"You've no idea what you're talking about." I scoff._**

 ** _"You left her before. Then you left me." Sam shrugs. "I just think that you need to think about this properly before you take this on and run again."_**

 ** _"Take this on?" I ask. "What the hell does that even mean?"_**

 ** _"This child. Arizona's child."_**

 ** _"It's my baby, too." My voice breaks. "I'm in this with her. I have been since the beginning."_**

 ** _"We both know that's a lie." Sam shakes her head. "She told you with the hope that you would go back to her. She knew you would crumble. I mean, does she even love you?"_**

 ** _"Damn right she does." I stand, my chair screeching against the floor of the coffee shop. "Stay out of my fucking life, Sam."_**

 ** _"Well, I hope for both of their sake, you stick around." She nods. "Without drugs."_**

 ** _"Excuse me?"_**

 ** _"I know those nights when you came home late you were out doing god knows what." She drops her gaze. "I'm not stupid. Once an addict, right?"_**

 ** _"How fucking dare you!" Raising my voice, my ex glances around at the people staring. "I would never do something like that. Not to you and certainly not to my family."_**

 ** _"They're not your family." She gives me a sad smile. "They're your safety net. They're the one thing you are clinging to in order to live a normal life."_**

 ** _"Wow...I didn't realize you thought so low of me, Sam." Shaking my head, tears are threatening to fall but I can't let them. I can't allow her to see me like this. "I may have hurt you by walking away, but I'm not the person you seem to think I am. I messed up here and you were there for me. I'll always be thankful for that. At least, I thought I would be."_**

 ** _"You didn't hurt me." She stands and shrugs her purse up onto her shoulder. "The day you went back to her…you did me a favor." Watching my ex walk away, I've never felt so low in my life. I mean, does she really think that I was out doing drugs when I was spending hours and hours working my ass off to get to where I am now? I don't know whether to be shocked or saddened._**

In the days that followed my conversation with Sam, I found it hard to think straight. I found it hard to just be myself and love Arizona how I had been for the past eight months. My girlfriend knew something was wrong. She knew that my ex had said hurtful things to me and she made me talk about it. She encouraged me to explain everything and then, in true Arizona style, she reassured me. She told me that I had this. That she couldn't picture her life with anyone other than me by her side. I could see that truth and honesty in her eyes. I could see the complete certainty about us. _Thank God I did._

She trusts that I'd never do anything to hurt her or our family and she knows that I haven't and wouldn't ever touch another drug. She knows me better than that. She knows me better than I know myself. The sound of our baby beginning to stir, my body responds immediately and I find myself on my feet and at her side in a matter of seconds. Squirming and attempting to cry, I lift her into my arms and my heart rate has never been as settled as it is at this moment. "Hi, pretty lady." Her tiny hands curling into fists under her chin, she settles again and turns her head slightly, nuzzling into my chest. "Mommy needs to sleep a little while longer but you and I are just going to hang out here…" Our baby's scent soothing me, I return to my seat and simply stare at the beautiful creation my girlfriend has blessed me with. "You know, your mommy is super special to us both." Her tiny lip sucked into her mouth, her dark hairline makes me smile the biggest smile in the world. "She's been through a lot," I whisper. "We both have. Your mommy, though…she is the most beautiful person in this world and you will see that…"

"She will also see that her other mommy is a beautiful person, too." Arizona's sleep filled voice causes me to glance up and I give her a smile, her eyes crystal blue and filled with nothing but complete love. "Come here…both of you." She motions for us to join her.

Rounding the end of my girlfriend's hospital bed, I lower the rail and we climb in beside her. "You doing okay?" I ask, my lips pressing below her ear. "I'm sorry if we woke you."

"You didn't." She smiles as her head rests on my shoulder. "Wow, she's kinda gorgeous, huh?"

"What did you expect?" I give her a knowing look. "She even has your dimples." I may not have been a part of the donor process, but Arizona didn't need me judging by how perfect our baby girl is. "I think she may be hungry."

"Mm, sounds like she gets that from you." Arizona throws me a wink and I feign shock. "Oh, come on…you aren't happy unless you're eating." She smirks. "And little miss Dillon here is going to be just the same."

"You know, I think she is a little warm." I clear my throat. "Maybe give her five without her blanket?" Gaining a nod in agreement from my girlfriend, Arizona takes Dillon from my arms and unwraps her. Furrowing her brow, she switches her gaze between our baby and me.

"W-Wha…"

"Arizona…" I clear my throat and slip my hand into my pocket. "I know I've messed up in the past but I also know what a forgiving and incredible woman you are. We both know that you deserve a world of happiness…and I want to be the one who gives you that. I _need_ to be that person." Giving me a sad smile, a tear slips down her beautiful face and I can't quite believe the sight in front of me. "I have the two most important people in the world right in front of me and I can never thank you for bringing such a beautiful baby girl into my life. _Our life._ "

"Eliza…" Her breath catches in her throat as I open the box in my hand, the most incredible blue diamond ring on show.

"Be my wife, Arizona." Her eyes focus on the ring in front of her. "Be my everything and more…" I had some grand speech planned out for the moment I proposed to my girlfriend, but she knows what she means to me. She knows that I'll never find another woman in this world that could ever compare to her. Not even a little. "Dillon would love if her mommy would become my wife." I smile.

"Dillon can have whatever she wants." Her dimples beaming, I press my lips to Arizona's and she smiles against my mouth, our foreheads resting against one another. "Yes, Eliza. I would love to be your wife." She whispers. Glancing down at our baby, Arizona sniffles and once again reads the words on our daughters sleep suit. Thankfully, she was beyond tired when I managed to change our choice of clothing for Dillon. I wasn't sure I'd get there since Arizona senses the slightest movement, but I did and yeah…it only makes this all the more perfect.

 ** _Will you marry my mommy?_**

Holding us both like the world is about to end, this moment has to be the most breathtaking moment I've ever witnessed. That I've ever been a part of. None of our past matters. None of it even exists in this moment. I'm not sure it ever will again. What I do know, though…is that our time is now. For love. For family. For everything, we could ever want. "Wow…" I breathe out. "…I'm the woman who truly has it all **."**

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys.**

 **Thank you to each and every one of you who have been on this second journey with our ladies. Anyone ready for a third someday…?**

 **THAT'S A WRAP!**


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